NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Ariane Benefit, Organizing Coach

Perfectionism & Me - Debbie Jordan Kravitz Interviews me for her book!

On October 9, 2008, Debbie Jordan Kravitz, interviewed me for her upcoming book on Perfectionism! She was so easy to talk to, and so compassionate that I really opened up to her and revealed things I've never talked about "publicly" before. We also laughed a lot and I have to thank her for asking such insight-provoking questions and helping me to understand my perfectionism even more deeply yet in such a FUN way!

Listen to or download the MP3 recording our conversation about Perfectionism and Overcoming Perfectionism here. (note this is about an 86 MB file)

You can listen live right now here! Though it make take a minute to get started.

As another step on my personal journey to recovering from perfectionism, I decided to share the recording with you - in spite of how imperfect I may sound. I hope it helps you in some way understand your own issues. Here are some of the topics we talked about:

• When did you first realize that perfectionism was part of your personality?
• How perfectionism became an issue for me in college and at work
• How becoming a Professional Organizer taught me about ADD
• How perfectionism, ADD and creativity are connected
• How I learned to overcome / manage my own chronic disorganization and clutter issues
• Consequences of perfectionism - what made you realize you needed to change and how do you keep it at bay?
• The biological bases of perfectionism
• How perfectionism is related to your self-concept, image, reputation, ability and desire for being known for quality
• How I learned to give up being perfect about email, writing and other things
• How self-monitoring works
• and much more....

Debbie Jordan Kravitz, can be found at  www.DandRcustomorganizers.com Debbie is my new BFF (BloggingFriendForever) and the brains behind the really cool blog, Virtually Organized. 

Here's the link to Download our discussion on Overcoming Perfectionism!

Client Success Story!

Need a little inspiration?  Check this out!  One of my very creative and talented clients,  Alma Schneider has gotten so great at keeping herself, her family and her huge home reasonably organized, that she decided to start her own business, too!  She has a Social work degree and is an amazing cook, so she combined the two into a service called "Take Back the Kitchen" where she helps women overcome psychological and practical obstacles to cooking. She has a new blog called  www.takebackthekitchen.blogspot.com. 

If you have a minute, help inspire her to keep writing by stopping by and leaving her a comment!

Professional Organizer, Lauren Davidson Shares Her Tips on Getting Organized!

My Interview with Lauren Davidson, Professional Organizer

ARoundTuit Organizing & Productivity
www.aroundtuitorganizing.com

To find an organizer near you, check out NAPO, National Association of Professional Organizers or NSGCD, National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization
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Q: What motivated you to start your Organizing business?

After the birth of our youngest son - number five in our blended family , I returned to my job in corporate risk management.  I liked the job well enough, but wasn’t happy.  Frankly, it just didn’t seem like a fair trade anymore, and I concluded that change was in order.  I yearned for my “dream job”; one that is meaningful and challenging, where I could use my strongest and favorite skills.  Equally motivating was my desire for improved work/life balance.

It’s worthwhile to note that I started out with a great support system; my father, brother, husband and several friends are all successfully self-employed.  Although my mother is not self-employed, she is definitely a go-getter! All these people have definitely been an invaluable source of information, inspiration and encouragement.

Q: What do you enjoy most about your organizing work?

Professional organizing is a terrific way for me to capitalize on my strongest skills, and the ones I most enjoy using: emotional intelligence, practicality, creativity and resourcefulness.   There is rhyme and reason to good organizing and coaching.  I feel most successful when my work “unlocks” confidence and energy for my clients.

Q: What are the 3 common organizing issues/mistakes you see people making at work?

Mistake #1: Not assigning a specific “home” to FUO’s (Frequently Used Objects).

People ask, “If I’m so smart, then why am I always losing my keys/cell phone/PDA/files/etc.?”   When you think about it, this is pretty irrational thinking!  Objects are misplaced when they do not have a “home”.  It has nothing to do with intelligence!

Transforming Your Life - Wendy Piersall's Success Story

Wendy Piersall of eMoms at Home, has created a new blog in which she shares her life story and how she transformed her life.  In her words, she answers the following questions:

What did you do to help your husband get sober?

How did you loose 50 pounds and keep it off for over 10 years?

How did you overcome depression and eradicate it from your life?

How did you finally get the Law of Attraction to work for you?

How did your marriage transform from one of abuse to one that is now extraordinary?

How did you get rid of all of your old limiting beliefs?

She shares herself  generously and provides great reminders & lessons for all of us who know we have the power to change our lives through focusing on what we want, how we can serve others, and attracting good things to our lives. Everything we want to do to improve our lives, even organizing, requires first looking inside ourselves and getting clear about what's important, and what we believe we are worthy of.  If you want to succeed in your dreams and goals, what better way than to learn from other's stories of success?  Visit with Wendy at WendyPiersall.com.

Sending neat thoughts,

See Related Posts on this blog in these categories:

  SUCCESS STORIES!! 

MAKEOVER PHOTOS & TIPS

Inspiration 

Surviving & Overcoming Living in Squalor

If you feel that you are living in squalor - you may feel that your situation is hopeless.  When I say squalor, I don't mean the kind of messiness which can usually be cleaned up in a day or two, I mean the kind where you can no longer use much of your living space for it's intended purpose. 

You may be wondering if you lack the physical or genetic ability to ever have the kind of home you dream of.  I don't know the genetics involved, but I do know that if you have a deep desire and motivation to live differently, it is possible to improve your life dramatically.  The greatest single distinction between people who die in their squalor and those who conquer it, is that survivors can RECOGNIZE that they have a problem and they really WANT to change their lives.  They want it so bad, they are willing and ready to do the work. 

Change may not come easily, and there may be backsliding, which is normal and expected, and you may need continuous support for a while to maintain a home you can function in and not be ashamed, but know this - you ARE able to change. You have everything it takes inside you...but you do need to allow yourself to see, trust in and start building upon all the wonderful strengths and talents that make you worthy of living in a comfortable and clean home.

Today I discovered an astonishingly candid and insightful website called "Squalor Survivors" that is one of the best resources I've ever seen for people living in extreme clutter and squalor. 

The stories and photos of the heart-wrenching transformations moved me to tears. It is so painful for people to let others in to their deeply private and embarrassing shame. Yet is it also intensely therapeutic to do so and this site allows people to share, open up and know that they are not alone.

www.SqualorSurvivors.com has been lovingly cultivated since 2001 as an outlet for others to "come out of the closet" and get support to overcome their squalor.  The author is an incredibly brave, intelligent, and articulate woman who experienced her own breakthrough and overcame squalor. Sadly she calls herself "pigpen" (her name is Jo.)  But what she is doing for people living in their own private hells is what I would call "angel of hope". 

Here are a few excerpts from the story of her site in her own words...

"The Squalor Survivors site was first created to display the photos that can currently be found in the Photos section...

"The purpose of the site now, besides displaying Kimmy's original photos, is to offer encouragement, support and advice to people who are living in squalor, and who have decided that they want to change their behavior, beliefs and attitudes, and clean up their houses. I believe that seeing the photos and reading the experiences of others who have lived like this, and especially those who have managed to change their living conditions, can be motivating and empowering for people who would like to follow that same path.

By "offering encouragement, support and advice" I do not mean enabling. I do not think living in squalor is okay, because I think you deserve better than that. I also know that the combination of circumstances that can lead to someone living in squalor can be complicated, and that by the time someone arrives at this site with a severe housekeeping problem, they are probably carrying years of negative self talk ("I'm lazy, I'm a slob, why can't I just get my act together?") and self-defeating behavior that's not going to be changed overnight.

Celeste's first instruction to Kimmy, "Quit hitting yourself over the head", is still the first thing we would like to say to new people arriving here. No matter what mistakes you have made in the past, you can't change your past, so there's no point in wasting energy berating yourself for those mistakes. Believe me, you're going to need that energy for more productive purposes!"

I have worked with and am currently working with clients who are experiencing some of these issues in varying degrees and all I can say is that this gifted woman has nailed the underlying emotional, decision-making, and avoidance of pain issues to a T.  She offers wonderful advice to help people change their lives in a way that only someone who has been there can do it. 

No matter how much you tell people they are not alone, it's hard for them to believe it.  Everyone I meet suffering like this thinks they are the only ones or the worst. This site reaches out and proves to people they are NOT alone and there IS hope! Not only are you not alone...but you CAN overcome - if you really WANT it.  When you have a clear vision, and you really deeply want it, you will make the time and get the support you need.

You can do it! 

Getting Help

There are people who will be there for you!  See the NSGCD Referral Site for organizing professionals specializing in chronic disorganization. 

Not all organizers work with all levels of hoarding, but it's a good start. I personally am qualified to work with levels 1 and 2 on the hoarding scale put forth by NSGCD.

I provide coaching as well as in-home services to guide you in making changes and in making the tough decisions that you must make so that you can change your life and achieve your vision!

If you feel you are at level 3, 4 or 5, I strongly recommend you seek treatment from a qualified specialist in hoarding behavior - See the OCD Foundation's Hoarding Website and the Children of Hoarders Support and Treatment Referrals.

As Jo Says:

"You will start to overcome your squalor the moment you believe you deserve better than squalor. When you know in your heart you won't settle for squalor any more."

The Tyra Banks Show chose Neat Living to organize a room for one of their guests!

What a great way to end the week! I was stunned when I got a call from Jessica at the Tyra Banks show. To be honest, I thought my friend Jessica Duquette was playing a little joke on me when she said "Hi, this is Jessica calling from the Tyra Banks show and we need a professional organizer in New Jersey to help organize a bedroom for one of our guests" At first I laughed, but then quickly realized this was for real!

I discovered Tyra's show a couple month's ago when Tivo recorded it for me.  I was so impressed with her kindness and generosity to her guests.  She always takes the high road.  But I never imagined in my wildest dreams her generosity would connect her to me!  She had her assistant contact me simply to help a past guest from New Jersey who needs a room in her home organized! 

They bought a gift certificate from me, and the real kicker is they aren't planning to do a show around it.  They just wanted to help her out.  Isn't that amazing?  I tend to get so cynical about corporate motives at times...this was just so uplifting.  Not only did they find me and choose me which is a huge honor in itself, but Tyra is truly doing this out of the kindness of her heart!  No ulterior motives to get publicity or show how great she is.  If I was a fan of hers before...I'm a RAVING fan now!

If you haven't seen her show, check out her website... www.TyraTV.com  she has some very interesting topics as well some just fun topics!  Thank you Tyra for uplifting me in so many ways.  What a great example you are to the young people of this country! 

And to make my week complete, I got a Blog of the Day Award!  The universe is smiling at me and I'm smiling right back!   It's hard to describe how good it feels when all the hard work and long hours I've put into building Neat Living as a resource to help ease people's suffering and acheive their dreams is recognized.  As the mom on Extreme Makeover Home edition last week said, "what word is bigger than thank you?"

Interview: Liz Maffucci Shares Her Story, Tips on Medical Organizing & Client Success Stories!

Liz Maffucci, The Clutter Warrior. is one of the really neat people may husband Alan & I have as a client of Neat Web Solutions, our web design company for small businesses. In the process of creating her Organizing & Coaching website, we got to know a lot about her and especially about her unique medical organizing service.

So we asked her to be the first in a series of interviews we are doing with Professional Organizers around the country!  Our intention is to bring to our readers a wide diversity of tips from organizers specializing in different areas and highlight the diversity in the Professional Organizing industry as well.  For folks who may be putting off the decision to get the help you need, I hope this might help inspire you to reach out for the support you need to transform your life!

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Q: What motivated you to start your Organizing business?

A: Most of my work life had been spent in government. I decided to leave that work and be a paralegal. I worked as a paralegal in a lawyers office that did closings. In working there I soon found out that it just wasn’t my cup of tea, so I made the decision after a year to leave and open up my own business. I knew I had excellent organizing and people skills so I decided to start my own professional organizing business and The Clutter Warrior was born.

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Q: What got you into coaching?

A: Now ten years later, I am still a successful, busy organizer, but I also do a lot of life coaching. I found that many of my clients needed to talk about other things while we were organizing their homes and businesses. So I saw the need to offer life coaching as a separate service for people who needed to try and fulfill their lifelong dreams and aspirations.

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Q: What do you enjoy most about your organizing / coaching work?

A: When I see positive changes in an environment like a home or office and how these changes affect my clients it makes me really enjoy what I do. The same can be said for coaching. In coaching clients that are very motivated to make positive changes in their lives and I get to see the progress each week with my clients it makes coaching very rewarding for me. To make clients see their own potential is magical to me.

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Q: You offer Medical Organizing, can you share a few of your favorite organizing tips for people to organize medical paperwork?

A: There are a few things that are very important when dealing with medical paperwork. Health insurance companies are becoming much stricter with the amount of time you have to submit claims. Many now allow only 3 months for submission of claims. The key is to have an organized system for your medical claims.

Create separate folders called;

• Pending Medical – After you submit a completed claim, a copy of the statement gets put into this folder with the date noted as to when it was submitted
• Completed Medical – Once you receive payment on a claim, it gets filed in this folder along with any related EOB’s from the insurance company.
• Forms and labels - A form should be done separately for each member of the family, which makes it much easier to submit a claim. Simply staple the claim to your doctor’s statement and send it directly to the insurance company. Make sure you make a copy of the doctor’s statement and put it in your pending file with the date you submitted it. Creating pre-printed labels with the insurance company’s address on your computer which will make it easy and simple to get your claims out in the mail.
• Medical Correspondence – Any letters you write to your insurance company and any correspondence that you receive from them goes in this file.
• Medical History – Each member of the family needs a medical history file.

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Q: Describe one or 2 of your best client success stories.

A: Let me give you one from organizing and one from coaching.

I have an organizing client that was so overwhelmed by her paper that she had to sleep on her couch because even her bed was covered by it. We worked over a period of a few weeks and by the time we were finished, she was very motivated to keep it that way. She became a different person, no longer were the shades closed, she was able to sleep in her bed at night and she felt comfortable having company over to her house. She has maintained it to this day and that was two years ago. She realized how depressed she felt being surrounded by all the clutter.

A coaching client of mine had a very bad car accident, and did not allow her to dance which was her favorite hobby and kept her in severe pain. When her car insurance company told her that they would not pay for the accident due to some sort of paperwork mix up, she did not feel she had the strength to fight them. And when she looked at the ominous stack of papers she had to deal with she leaned towards not pursuing the insurance company legally.

We spoke over a period of three months about this and she came to the conclusion through her weekly coaching sessions that she needed to fight for what was right and that the accident had so changed her life and she had spent so much of her own money on doctors, specialists, chiropractors etc that she pushed ahead to bring about justice. She did not want to feel defeated by the insurance company and when she was finally able to weed through the papers and get an attorney she felt a great weight lifted off of her. And she persevered and actually won a settlement from the insurance company and came to the realization that she could do whatever she put her mind to and overcome any obstacle in her way!

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What a great story!  How often do we feel overwhelmed by the idea of a confrontation and so we just back down and let it pass and feel defeated?  How often do we feel guilty or inadequate about reaching out to get the support we need to get through an ordeal that is making us miserable?  This is a great example of how getting the support you need and facing your challenges empowers you and affects all aspects of your life.

Thanks for sharing Liz!

e-moms at home - Clutter Clearing Success Story!!

Ever Wonder How to Make a Professional Organizer's Day?  Just let them know how they inspired or helped you!

I love hearing how people are inspired to clear clutter and how their lives change...and imagine what an honor it was that Wendy Piersall, author of the eMoms at Home website and blog cited my Neat Living Blog and my friend Jessica's blog It's Not About Your Stuff  as her inspiration to declutter and create her own office space!  I got that warm fuzzy feeling all the way down to my toes.  That's the feeling that tells you you are doing the right thing with your life! 

Here's an excerpt from her really sweet post about how she's creating a A Productive and Organized Home Office:

I’ve blogged about both of these wonderful and inspirational ladies before - but the impact of their work is finally coming to fruition in my business and life - and WOW. WHAT a difference!

Some key takeaway lessons learned - and my fave links from these Queens of the White Space:

• Clutter robs us of our energy - which is exactly the energy we need to run a productive and successful home based business

Too much stuff distracts you from the present and keeps you attached to the past

The stress of always having to look for something is enormous - and hurts the ones we love the most

You can read the full post at: eMoms at Home ? Blog Archive ? A Productive and Organized Home Office.

And if you are a mom working from home, check out the rest of the great tips and acticles on her Best of eMoms page.

Hmm... with over 200 posts on this blog now...I gotta create a Best Of Neat Living page...okay so that's number 532 on my list of ideas to implement "eventually"  : ) 

Clutter Clearing Success Story Makes My Day!

An amazing Mom of 2 children with special needs who call herself "Turtle" wrote about how one of my articles inspired her and her family to have an organizing weekend and clear some clutter!  It's so heartwarming to have touched someone's life...it inspires me to keep going.  If you have a clutter clearing success story of any kind, please send it to me!  I'd love to hear it and write about it!

"I went over to Neat Living and found a great list on "Understanding how clutter affects you. [http://blog.neatandsimple.com/blog/2006/05/clearing_clutte_1.html#more] What an inspiration. I went and woke my husband up and said you gotta see this. I read both articles to him and we decided to have an organizational weekend.

First we tackled the garage. We have been meaning to do this for ages. Every once in a great, great while, we get to work on it together, but it is mostly me trying to organize everything. Well, with ADHD, you can imagine how well that went. We both went to work on it Saturday and we accomplished so much. Mostly what's left is several bags that are going to the twin sale and the local charity and a few mineral boxes of Tim's. Then Sunday we decided to clean the carpets in the family room, the hallway and the living room. Wow! Does it look great.

Then I decided to tackle my desk. I cleaned up one whole side of my desk, organized the piles of paper and it is now ready to be filed. Everything is broken up in very easy to manage piles.

I am very proud of myself. I was in an organizational mood and I got ALOT accomplished. This doesn't happen very often."

Quoted From:  http://turtle-hope.blogspot.com/

WANTED: Clutter Clearing Success Stories

Calling All Clutter Clearing Success Stories!

If you have made it through and succeeded in changing your life by clearing clutter, I want to hear about it and share your story in my blog and in my upcoming book.  Your decluttering story can be anonymous or not - it's up to you.  Before and After clutter pictures are welcome if you have them!  I'll also be happy to put links in my book to your blog posts or website featuring clutter clearing success stories as a resource to my readers. Just leave a comment here letting me know about it! NOTE: By placing comments here you are giving me your permission to use them in my book.   

Please contact me at 973-429-2100 with any questions or to discuss your story with me personally.  Or, if you prefer you can send your answers to the questions below by email to: abenefit@neatandsimple.com 

Thank you in advance for taking the time to share your success story and serve as a role model and inspiration to others in their journey to clutter-free living!

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Q: When did you first realize that clutter was creating chaos in your life?

A: Answer