NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Ariane Benefit, Organizing Coach

The Neat & Simple Living Cafe is open! You're invited!

I've been talking about my "big announcements" coming this fall and here is one of them!  I'm thrilled to invite you to join me at the Neat & Simple Living Cafe! 

Like a real cafe, this online "cafe" is a casual gathering place where like-minded people, with the common goal of seeking simplified sustainable success, can connect and informally support each other using an extremely easy user Interface.  (To me, it's much easier than Facebook.) 

It's a place to talk about things that matter.  Like how to deal with the life challenges shared by creative people, self-employed people (including Moms who run a home - you're actually self-employed too!)

Why the Cafe?

Back in May, I led an online coaching group called "Getting Unstuck" - it was an amazing experience.  We used a group website to give the members a place to interact between calls. The results were successful beyond my expectations!  People were clearing clutter like crazy, sharing photos and supporting each other. The energy was palpable.  You could feel it over the phone even as people were getting unstuck. Here is just one of the many success story photos from that group.

Find more photos like this on Neat and Simple Living Cafe

Everyone loved it and wanted to stay connected after the the group ended.  So I've been looking for a way to make that happen.  After joining ADDerworld, an online community for people with ADD created by Bryan Hutchinson, (whose book about ADD I reviewed here)  I found my answer:  the Neat & Simple Living Cafe!  This group is completely free, but I will be anouncing the start-up of the new Getting Unstuck coaching group VERY soon!  I'm just putting all the finishing touches on our new "home."

What's so great about the Cafe?

I like it better than blogging and way better than Facebook. It's a much more personal way to connect with people who have common interests and goals. The interface is much simpler to me.  Beyond that, members get to connect with each other...not just with me.  It's truly a group conversation...not just me blogging and people commenting.  I love that any member can write a blog post...so it's actually a community blog!  And it's SO easy to load photos and videos - much easier than using this Typepad blog. I've already added lots of photos and a video clip too!   

FREE MONTHLY CALL!

I've been wanting to do a free monthly call for a long time too, but I resisted the idea of people calling and asking questions when I knew nothing about their background.  I like to personalize my answers - not try to give "one size fits all" answers. Now I'm excited to be hosting a free call every month for members only.  I love that when you ask questions, I might already know something about you from the cafe, and can actually look at your profile and be able to give you better answers! If needed I can follow up with you by commenting on your personal page.  How cool is that! Members will be able to ask questions via the web as well.  From time to time we will also feature other members of the cafe.

Is there a Focus to the Cafe?

Yes.  "Sustainable Success"   Sustaining a Neat and Simple Living lifestyle is a lot more challenging than meets the eye for many people.  Especially for creative people, self-employed people, busy moms, ADDers and other people who easily become overcommitted in their quest for success. 

We will be talking about all aspects of success, not just organizing and clutter control: like designing your life to fit YOU, finding work you love, finding a way to be appreciated for your personal strengths and gifts.

Sustainable success is about learning to work around what other people may call "deficits" or "weaknesses" instead of trying to change what simply cannot be changed. (I'm really starting to hate those words "deficits and weaknesses"  After all, it's not inherently BAD to be a night person, or prefer to keep your options option and improvise.  If we were living in a caveman times, you would truly value those people who can easily stay up late and keep watch over you!  : )  It's only a problem if you are in a job or environment not suited to you. 

When you fight your true nature, it takes so much energy and crushes your soul.  When you criticize yourself on top of that, you become drained and depressed. Your Life becomes one of quiet desperation and increasing isolation. In this cafe, you will find a place where you can connect with like-minded people. Just knowing you aren't alone can change everything and give you the confidence to make your life better.   

Simple living and sustainable success is about much more than organizing, so I invited two brilliant colleagues and friends Ellen Shapiro, Prosperity and Success Coach and Bernadette Armiento, Certified Holistic Health Practitioner to join me as co-hosts in engaging people in conversations about health, nutrition, financial success, energy management, relationships, working from home, ADD, family and much more! Ellen is an MBA and CPA turned "spritualista" in addition to many other talents and will be leading discussions on "prosperity" - in every sense of the word.  They will be hosting discussions in their areas of expertise and lots more over the next few months. 

Community, Not Coaching

Just to clarify, I will not be personally responding to EVERY question people may have, nor attempting to coach people via this forum. This is a place for members to interact. I will participate as time permits and provide content like I do on the blog. Keep in mind that after all, this is a FREE service so I can only give it a limited amount of time.

Who is the cafe for?

People from all walks of life who are fellow seekers of creative simplicity and sustainable success are welcome: moms, self-employed people (and wanna be self-employed : ) creative professionals, coaches, writers, service workers, healers, teachers, professional organizers, bloggers, ADDers, and anyone who resonates with our theme and has something interesting to say about it - any time of day, no matter where you live!

Here's a few things we have in common:

Graphics created by Ariane Benefit, ADHD Organizing Coach

for the Neat & Simple Living Cafe at www.neatandsimpleliving.com

You may use the above graphics on your site but
please include credit as stated above. 
I have designed and created the graphics myself,
they are not clipart. Thanks!

As I've written about before, many creative people share the same kinds of issues as ADDers, and pretty much all self-employed people who are evolving their businesses face the challenge of how to balance it all and create "sustainable" success.  People who are chronically disorganized also share similar issues.

Dr. Hallowell in his book, Crazy Busy, talks about "having ADD-like Traits" a culturally induced syndrome caused by the brain overload associated with our culture and lifestyle choices.  We have so many choices and so much information to process from so many sources that we in constant "over-stimulation" mode.

If you are a person interested in many things and who has lots of ideas, chances are you tend to bite off more than you can chew, collect clutter, and resist routines and schedules. You probably tend to evolve and change frequently and prefer to keep options open. If you do join this, keep in mind that probably something else you are doing will have to be let go. Perhaps less TV and more connecting? : ) 

It's not for everyone, and that's okay.  But if you thrive on life's "happy accidents" and find inspiration in connecting with others who love to explore ideas, you are gonna love the Neat & Simple Living Cafe!

 

Prospering and Learning in 2008! Don't miss my Free Teleclass On "Organizing for the Creative Professional & the Chronically Disorganized"

I am so honored to have been invited to be a guest speaker in the "PROSPER YOUR PRACTICE" community hosted by Ellen Shapiro and offered FREE!  Ellen generously and expertly hosts free monthly "teleclasses with special guest experts to share their information and wisdom about different aspects of running a successful business."  Learn more about Ellen Shapiro here

In addition, she offers monthly "repatterning" sessions designed to help you incorporate the  learnings you "resonate with" from the guest speaker sessions into your belief system and empower you to put them into action! 

(p.s. I did a couple repatterning sessions with her and found them very helpful in refocusing me to take action on my healthy eating goals, which I'll be sharing with you soon along with big announcement : )

I'll be speaking on the topic:

"Organizing for the Creative & the Chronically Disorganized"

We'll be discussing what chronic disorganization is, why it affects so many creative people, and we'll also discuss some simple strategies & principles to help creative professionals become more organized using systems that are super easy and don't take a lot of time to maintain. 

Knowing me, I'll probably have some kind of neat freebie to offer people who attend...I've got tons of ideas floating around, but I think I'll just surprise you!

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Here's what you to do if you don't want to miss this!

1. If you want the chance to ask me questions live, Mark March 27th, at 8:45PM EST in your calendar. If you can't make it for the live session, you can listen to the recorded session later, but you have to register to the get the link to the recording!

2. Head on over to Ellen's site to register for the Prosper Your Practice group so that you'll be sure to get the emails with the teleclass info and the follow up link.

That's all you have to do! This is an easy, no-cost, no-obligation, no-spammy sales pitches way to discover what Repatterning is about, AND to visit with me live, and learn more about how to be more organized, even if you've never been able to do it before!

Hope to "see" you there!

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. Dr. Wayne Dyer Speaks on Living the Wisdom of the Tao Te Ching

I'm currently watching a wonderfully inspirational 3 hour show we recorded on our DVR on our local PBS channel WLIW a few weeks ago.   It's called Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  It's a seminar based on his one-year immersion in the study of the Tao Te Ching, or Great Way by Lao Tzu (which I read many years ago and in addition to Christianity and Judaism, Taoism is one of the greatest shaping influences on my personal spiritual belief system.)

Dr. Dyer talks about how the Tao Te Ching has helped him release his attachment to clutter and lessen his need to hold on tight to things (in 2006 he let go of 20,000 books and lots of clothing and years of other collections that kept him from being free to live the way he wanted to!) 

It made me remember that I started "unlearning" or letting go of my attachments to things and clutter even longer ago than I thought!   

Related Links

Read various free translations of the Tao Te Ching online

Here's a review of the program from South Dakota Public Broadcasting

Look on the PBS site to find when this is airing in your area.

Here's how you can pledge to support WLIW Channel 21 in NY and  receive a package tickets to see Wayne Dyer at the Javits Center in NY on Nov. 14th 7-10pm. You also get his book, DVD, AUDIO CDs of his workshop and much more.

Sugar on CBS NEWS!

One of the reasons I often discuss the ill effects of sugar on this blog is that Sugar is known to be strongly linked to worsening or even causing depression, severe PMS, arthritis, ADD, autism, asperger's, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, yeast infections and much much more.  All of which have a very serious affect on your ability to focus and get organized.

Personally - quitting sugar made dramatic improvements in my health and in my life overall.  Whenever I backslide and eat more than a teaspoon or 2 of sugar - within days I become moody and irritable, have difficulty focusing, feel overwhelmingly sad, have difficulty sleeping and feel overall joint pain. After a year and a half off sugar, I'm still amazed at the harmful effects it has.

Connie Bennett, C.H.H.C., author of Sugar Shock, and my inspiration for letting go of sugar, was recently featured on CBS News Sunday Morning during a segment in which they spent a whole 8 minutes on our skyrocketing sugar consumption and related health problems.  If you missed the CBS News Sunday Morning segment it's not too late!
You can view it online here

http://cbs2.com/health/health_story_168113516.html

According to Connie's newsletter, there was:

"one major glaring error in the piece regarding sugar consumption figures. Americans consume 142 pounds per year (or possibly as high as 170 pounds) per person of caloric sweeteners such as sucrose, high fructose corn syrup, etc. That figure does not include artificial sweeteners as was reported in the CBS News Sunday Morning piece.

Actually, according to the Calorie Control Council 180 million American adults (as of 2004) consume low-calorie and sugar-free sodas, other beverages and foods using five different sugar substitutes approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration--saccharin, aspartame, acesulfame-K, sucralose and neotame.

Which, of course, begs the question: Are these sugar substitutes safe to consume? This is one of the most Frequently Asked Questions I answer in SUGAR SHOCK! (I had to cover this, because while researching my book, thousands of people kept asking me if they cut out or reduced their sugar intake, was it OK to drink or eat foods with these sugar substitutes.)

Frankly, I was shocked at what I learned! Health experts urged me to warn my readers that questions have been raised about the safety of every single artificial sweetener on the market!! - despite repeated claims of safety from the FDA and the companies creating them...

By the way, in SUGAR SHOCK!, you also can learn about what some experts call a "paradoxical weight gain" that some people experience when ingesting foods with artificial sweeteners. Yeah, consuming artificial sweeteners can actually PACK ON THE POUNDS instead of peel them off!

Shocking, eh? Anyhow, you can learn about artificial sweeteners and a whole lot more by getting SUGAR SHOCK! here now."

You can get Connie's newsletter on her blog here.

A Balanced Review of "The Secret" Finds a Few Flaws and Summarizes 8 Great Lessons for Creating Our Own Best Life

  "The Secret" seems to be either loved or hated by most people.  But this review by Sarah Zeldman is extremely balanced.   If I wrote up all my thoughts on "The Secret" DVD, I could not have written a better review than hers.   (Reading Sarah's writings often feels like she is putting my thoughts into words perfectly. I have a soulmate living up there in Canada!)

The Flaws in "The Secret"

Sarah brings a balanced perspective and does an excellent job pointing out the flaws in the so-called "science" of the secret.  For example, "The Secret" is too materialistically focused and it makes achieving success sound way too simple and magical.   These are the flaws that turn people off.  These flaws are also why I don't wholeheartedly recommend the book or video to everyone and I personally would not pay to see it or own it.  But I do recommend at least exposing yourself to it if you can view it for free.

Like the people showcased in "The Secret", I do believe that you can manifest the life you want - once you get clear.  Unfortunately, that is another way "The Secret" is not very helpful.  It doesn't provide much guidance on how to get really clear about what you truly deeply need and want.

Like me, Sarah believes James Arthur Ray's  version “Think, Feel, Act.” is a much better description of how you make your dreams and goals a reality than “Ask, Believe, Receive.”  You must take action.  If you take the first steps towards your dreams - even if you don't know exactly how you will make it the rest of the way - that is a profound act of faith in yourself.  And Faith in yourself is absolutely essential.  You have to believe in yourself and trust yourself enough to be willing to learn as you go and to believe that even if you fail you will figure out the right thing to do next. 

The Best of "The Secret"

I really like that even while pointing the flaws in "The Secret", Sarah doesn't throw the baby out with the bathwater.  She has extracted 8 great lessons found in "The Secret" about how we both "attract AND create" our own happiness and success.

Every single one of her 8 "best of" points is spot on. I would only add that our life's purpose & goals must include an element of service to others.  No matter how trivial it may seem. If we are too self-centered and only want things for ourselves - we will struggle to achieve them. 

For example, suppose you want a loving releationship.  If you only focus on what you want from the other person...you will struggle.  When you focus on becoming a more loving person and think about what you can do for others, you will then be able to "attract" more love into your life. 

Here are 4 of Sarah's 8 great points that summarize beautifully the best of "The Secret".

"*Get clear about what I want to achieve with my life.
* Be ready to act on “inspired ideas” or “opportunities” that come me.
* Reframe bad situations in a positive light.
* Be grateful for what I have every day."

Read Sarah's Full Review Here

RELATED CONTENT

Skeptics

Newsweek's skeptical article: Decoding the Secret

Skeptics Dictioanary - http://skepdic.com/lawofattraction.html

Believers

Oprah's segment on: Setting Intention, Paying Attention and Taking Action... 

James Ray, the Science of Success How to Attract Prosperity and Create Life Balance Through Proven Principles

Oprah's website on forgiveness

Dr. Michael Beckwith's  site

See The Oprah Segment on The Secret 

On Oprah's website: Oprah's first show about the Secret

On Oprah's website:  Oprah's followup show on "the Secret"

The Book:  the Secret

Related Posts I've Written On Success:

• How I Got Married for the First Time - over 40
  In 2005, I wrote about how I cleared clutter and made room for someone to be in my life.
• Clutter Clearing Pays Off Big Time!
• The Happiness Project - Now that's Neat Living!

Monday "Link Love" Fest! Don't miss these fabulous posts from Inspirational Bloggers!

Over the weekend I decided to catch up with some of my favorite bloggers and I found so much to learn and be inspired by!   So I decided to have a Link Love Fest and just put a bunch of great links in one post!  So without further ado, here are some of the best, most insightful and inspiration posts I found!  These are not in any particular order - they are all awesome posts! 

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Learn the Rules with Liz

"Business Rules They Don't Teach in School".  From the warm and super-smart Liz Strauss of www.Successful-Blog.com we have a series of insightful rules that are true for business and life in general.  I love her canoe analogy which illustrates Rule #6 !

"Focusing on the past can’t fix the future. Focusing on the future might."

It does no good to blame or find fault or regret...just focus on making things right!

Rules Posts by Liz
Business Rule 5: Never Underestimate the Power of a Voice on the Telephone
Business Rule 4: You Know Your Truth — Listen to Yourself
Business Rule 3: In PRM, the First Test Always Outweighs the Final
Business Rule 2: How to Do What You Want
Business Rule 1: Working at Home and Doing it Right

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Get Healthy with Wendy

The Psychology of Losing Weight
The Psychology of Losing Weight - Listening
When is it Time to Leave an Alcoholic? (Her advice applies not only to being involved with alcoholics but with people with any addiction that is ruining your lives - including clutter.

These are from the fabulous fountain of inspiration, WendyPiersall.com - )

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Cultivate Enthusiasm with Mark!

5 Reasons Why Enthusiasm is Better than Confidence This is is a post that will make you smile no matter what you are feeling when you read it! From Mark McGuiness and the "Wishful Thinking" Blog (with thanks to the wise, witty & wonderful Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project for introducing me to this great blog!)

"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Bust a Myth - This is a Shocker!

You don't really need 8 glasses of water a day!  You must read this study from Dartmouth University!  Personally, I drink 2-6 glasses a day depending on how I feel.  I can never get down the full 8!  Thanks to Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project for finally helping me not feel guilty about this!  : )

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Get Happy with Gretchen

A refinement of my earth-shattering happiness formula. Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project strikes gold every time she touches the keyboard - this is a platinum insight from her!

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Become a Great Blogger with Brian, Liz, Sarah, Robin &  Wendy

I can't share just one post from these guys...if you want to be a better blogger, check out these masters.

http://www.copyblogger.com/  Brian Clark
http://www.successful-blog.com/ Liz Strauss
http://www.bloggingexpertise.com/ Sarah Lewis
http://www.sleepyblogger.com/ Robyn Tippins
http://emomsathome.com/blog/ Wendy Piersall

Check out the SOBCon'07 event!  A Relationship Bloggers’ Conference and
Networking Event in Chicago Relationship Bloggers Unite! SOBCon ‘07 This promises to be a fabuous event!  I wish I could go!

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That's it for today...I'll be back with more later in the week!

The Happiness Project - Now that's Neat Living!

Now here's a really neat way to spend a year of your life!  Gretchen Rubin is writing a book and an amazing blog called The Happiness Project. It's about spending a year testing every principle, tip, rule, theory, and scientific study about happiness and reporting on what works!  How cool is that????  She includes so much neat stuff that I'm going to have to do a series a posts about her.  This is definitely one of those must- see - "wish I'd thought of that, but I could not have said it better myself"  blogs!

I think the Happiness Project is a FABULOUS idea.  And it has inspired me share my thoughts on happiness here with you - because you really can't experience true happiness without learning to let go of emotional and physical clutter from the past and without establishing a peaceful order in your life.  Not perfection, but a sense of order.

 
Happiness for me, at least, was VERY hard won.  I grew up on welfare in a very violent, abusive home with angry alcoholic parents. My father finally left us alone (thankfully) when I was 8 and I haven't seen him since.  The violence didn't end there though. My next stepfather was almost as bad.  My mother took out her frustration on her kids, and on a succession of boyfriends and husbands.

Happiness Poster - Photo source:
http://flickr.com/photos/justinshattuck/198831800/

Without going into lots of gory detail on my life story, let's just say that I developed a very strong need to be responsible, especially for my younger siblings, a strong need for order to counteract the clutter and emotional chaos in my childhood, a strong need to please, to achieve, and to basically be perfect - perfect grades, perfect home, perfect work assignments, and to have perfectly happy bosses, students and clients.

I moved out of my mother's apt. (can't call it home) the first time when I was 12 to be a live-in babysitter and housekeeper for a single mom.  I got a job and my own small apartment when I was just 14 - so that I could help my 4 younger siblings get away from my mother.  I took on a lot of survivor's guilt for being the oldest and strongest of 5 kids and took on a lot of responsibility as well.  I also had a lot of distrust, fear and disappointment just under my perfectly responsible surface.  Even today I have a hard time sharing my imperfections, but I've gotten much better about it.  As you can imagine I was anything BUT happy.

I can actually vividly remember the first time I started to feel like I had found peace in the world.  The first time I felt truly deeply happy.  Not just the momentary earned happiness of getting good grades, getting a rave review from a client, or getting a good job or promotion.  I mean really feeling happy with my imperfect self and feeling just peaceful existing in the world.

It was just after I turned 40, the culminations of all my struggles, achievements, and learnings finally started to sink in. I remember a deep peaceful feeling of acceptance, forgiveness, faith, and of letting go - letting go of the past, letting go of failures, letting go of my expectations that I would be married and have children by the time I was 40.  Instead I had memories of 5 broken engagements and several abusive relationships.

I also had a lot of career successes that I had thought would make me happy - but didn't - I let go of that too. And I started to let go of physical stuff that was associated with a past I didn't want to carry around with me any longer.  It was incredibly freeing to release stuff I kept out of sentiment and fear of letting go. Something clicked and I finally let go of the parts of me that were on hold - waiting for someone else to join me in life.

Peace without Borders Photo Contest Entry
Photo Source: http://flickr.com/photos/cybercare/57049784/

I started to feel a deeper faith in the universe - faith that things would be okay  - even if they didn't turn out exactly the way I dreamed of as a kid hiding in my closet.  I stopped dating and stopped worrying about pleasing other people.  I started to create new dreams and fulfill them on my own.

For example, I traveled to Spain - alone!! Something I NEVER thought I would do.  I always thought I would go to my ancestral country and see where my grandmother was born and raised (Malaga and Marbella) on my honeymoon.  It turned to be the beginning of my honeymoon with myself.  Traveling alone for me was the ultimate expression of my faith that everything would be okay.  I finally became truly happy being alone in the world.

Oddly enough, a few months later I met my husband to be!   We never really dated though.  We were "just friends" right up until we realized we were in love.  Anyway, it boils down to this.  In my 46 years of living, I've finally found that my ultimate deep happiness comes from what I DO with my life, what I LET GO OF in my life, and what I BELIEVE about the world.  Whenever I do nothing, or whenever I hold on to unrealistic expectations, or attach too much importance to things, I become unhappy.

Happiness for me is a by-product of:

• Having faith and believing things will all work out even if I can't make it work out my way.
• Having goals and accomplishing them
• Taking care of myself & my family (Exercising, keeping my home organized and clean, my marriage and my pets)
• Helping other people overcome their life obstacles (This is the greatest high for me - and making a living doing it, helps me be able to do it more!  It's the best career move I ever made)
• Being actively grateful for all the good things in my life - every day
• Letting go - not only of physical stuff but of emotional baggage as well.  When I stopped expecting myself and other people to be a certain way and learned to forgive myself and others for human foibles and weaknesses, I became gradually more peaceful and happy

Learning to let go of most of the anger, fear and anxiety of my childhood; And, actively accepting the paradoxes of being human in an imperfect world that can be so cruel, violent, hypocritical and randomly horrifying, as well as stunningly beautiful and kind, was not easy, but it was essential to my happiness.   

For me, happiness was and is a by-product of loving, letting someone love me their way, trusting even while accepting that people will let me down, forgiving them when they do, keeping my life and home in reasonable order - not perfection, doing work I am deeply passionate about, and practicing being grateful everyday for what I have, and being kind to people.

It may sound hoaky or corny, but every day, my husband and I express something we are grateful about, something we appreciate about having the other in our lives.  It's so easy to take each other for granted.  Expressing to each other what we are thankful for really keeps love, respect, kindness and appreciation alive for us.

Kindness Graph Source:
http://flickr.com/photos/51453931@N00/73796459/

So that's my story - long - yet actually short!  After all, Gretchen Rubin is going to write a whole book about Happiness!  : )

If you got this far, thanks for reading my story! If you have a minute to share, I would to love to hear your answers to this question: 

Where does your happiness come from?

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
- Martha Washington (1732 - 1802) 

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort”
- Franklin D Roosevelt

Source: http://quotes.wordpress.com/tag/happiness-quotes/

For more about The Happiness Project visit Gretchen's amazing Blog!

Sending Neat and Happy thoughts,

Recharged and ready to rock!

Although I loved being on vacation, it's great to be back. I'm recharged and ready to get back to work and help people master the art of letting go of clutter and getting organized.  We had a wonderful vacation at the Hacienda Resorts in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. The resort was gorgeous.  We had to wait a Dominican hour (5 hours) for our room to be ready but it was beautiful.   The service people were incredibly friendly and warm.  The service so excellent all I could think was - "you can't train people to be like this, it must be the culture." 

The beach at Playa Cofresi was one of the most gorgeous, cleanest beaches I've ever seen. The color was amazing...I'm going to try to capture it as a wall color.  Here's a couple pictures I took of it. It's like a little cove where you are in your own little world. 

 

Although we loved our vacation, I was very disturbed by the extreme poverty we saw for miles and miles as we drove from the airport to our resort.  We learned that in DR, many people don't have electricity or even running water.  That the police earn about $100 a month in a country where the price of gas is $5.00 a gallon. Because of the high cost of gas most people drive scooters.  We saw whole families including young children squeezed onto a little scooter with no helmets and some with no shoes and shirts. We also learned that many people are killed every day on those scooters.

It broke my heart and I felt so powerless to help them. It gave me a whole new perspective on my problems and concerns. Now, when little thing goes wrong, I think about those people and am just grateful to have the problems I have - they just come with all the good things in my life.  And all those clothes and other things I've got hanging around the house that I don't really use or need?  They are going to charity.  I really can live without them.  Hopefully they'll find their way to people who have a lot less than I do. 

Getting out of your routine and getting a change in your perspective is amazingly therapeutic.  It had been 5 years since our last "real" vacation. We had no technology, no phones, no TV.  It was great!  And the world didn't end while we were out of touch.  When was the last time you disconnected and took time out?  If you haven't taken a vacation lately, what are you waiting for? 

All the best,

Neat Resume and Career Blog!

You can't experience Neat Living if you aren't "making a living"!  Everyone has to earn money.  If you are searching for a better way to make a living by changing jobs or careers, you'll get lots of great advice on building your resume and job searching over at The Free Resume and Career Toolbox - Blog.

I especially like the post on How to Write About “Job Hopping” Without People Thinking “Job Hopper”  This is a big issue, especially for some of my dear ADD clients who have tried a lot of different jobs in their time. I personally stayed in a couple jobs longer than I wanted to just so my resume wouldn't make me look like an unstable job hopper.  These tips help you deal with the resume issue and may just help you from having to be miserable any longer than necessary!  : )   

Best wishes on your job/career search!

PURRfect Contentment, Alex, Part Deux : )

There was a book out several years ago called "Everything I Need to Know about Life, I Learned from my Cat".  One thing I learn from my cat, is that even though getting your To Do's done is important, sometimes you just gotta relax and enjoy what you have already done. 

Taking breaks, stopping to treasure a moment, a smile, or something as simple as hugging your cat (or your child) are the real keys to enjoying life.  Without that, getting your to do's done is a hollow achievement.

Click the photo to see it larger.  And, don't forget to vote in our poll!  : )

p.s. Yes, Alex's tail is huge - He's a Maine Coon.  Hard to believe we got him from a shelter, isn't it?   His owner just surrendered him. 

All the best,

Goal-Free Living and Blogging can be a GOOD thing!

BRILLIANT concept!!!  If you enjoy blogging, Goal-Free Blogging is a must-read post by Stephen Shapiro, author of Goal Free Living .  I’ve been blogging since August and I also have found that blogging is best as an adventure and a journey - not a goal. It started out as part of my organizing business, but now it’s much more than just about organizing and productivity.  It's about learning, discovery, insights, sharing and community just to name a few. And yes...it's so much more fun and insightful when you just let it flow rather than set goals and objectives for the blog.  At first, it was tough.  But now, ideas for the blog just hit me all the time. And, I think it helps me be a better organizer as well.  It stimulates my creativity and innovative problem-solving. 

I can’t wait to read Goal Free Living - the new Book by Stephen Shapiro coming out in January.

I suspect Goal-free concepts can be applied to helping my clients enjoy getting and staying organized, rather than seeing it as a dreary task or goal that must be done.  If you see organizing as a chore, then it is.  If you see it as a way to creatively make your life easier and more fun...then it will be! 

Why wait to enjoy life "once I get organized".  Start enjoying your life NOW!  : )

All the best,
Ariane

Becoming a Professional Organizer

I've been getting a lot of questions lately about how to become a professional organizer, so I created a offers a Personalized Professional Organizer Training & Business Coaching Program for becoming Self-Employed to help you learn exactly what you need to know based on YOUR personal goals and YOUR uniqued learning needs to help achieve your goals. You will learn :

• How to perform a successful client intake over the phone
• How to perform a needs assessment
• How to conduct successful, client-centered organizing sessions
• Partnering with clients to empower them, not dictating solutions
• Communicating with clients and clarifying expectations
• Project management techniques 
• and much more

Here are a few tips to get you started.

Starting any business is financially risky. So, if you have a job, and it is your primary source of income, I highly recommend NOT leaving your job until you have done several projects and are sure this is right for you. Many new organizers are quite surprised that being great at organizing yourself is NOT at all the same as helping others learn to organize in ways that really work for them in the long term.  It's not about being neat, or doing it for them.  It's about partnering and co-creating a system that the individual can maintain.

If the business will be your primary source of income, have at LEAST 6-12 months worth of living and business expenses in the bank before you quit your job. Business expenses include a business phone line, credit card merchant account fees, advertising & marketing expenses, website development and hosting fees, and more. Be sure you have a plan and a monthly budget that includes these in addition to your living expenses.

You also need to be honest with yourself about your skills, strengths, weaknesses, and ability to deal with not having a steady income. Running an organizing business means you not only have to be a good organizer, you need to be skilled at marketing, sales, financial / budgeting, technology, writing, and the consulting process.

Working with people and educating them is just as important as your ability to organize stuff. The truth is that you can only spend maybe half your time actually organizing with clients. That said, if you have all the skills, are willing to keep learning, and you really have a passion for organizing, it can a wonderfully challenging and rewarding career.

For More Information:

NSGCD

NAPO

Feel free to contact me for personal Professional Organizer Training & Coaching via telephone at 973-429-2100.  I wish you all the best!

Seeking Your Bliss, or "What Should I Do With My Life?"

The more I've learned about ADD, the more I wonder if it's really a "disorder" or a "symptom" that sensitive, creative personalities develop from living in a chaotic society with so many overwhelming choices and possibilities.  Think about it.  Aren't advertising, magazines and TV  messages actually designed to distract you from your own thoughts? 

"What Should I Do With My Life?"

I was inspired to write this article by a client with ADD who is in the process of changing careers - again.  Many of us, ADD or not, believe it is important to do work you really love.  Yet many us experience great difficulty.  The search can be excruciatingly painful - especially when we feel we have to settle for work "we know we can get" just so that we can make a living.  The longer we are in jobs like that, the harder it is to get out.  So many people are in jobs that they feel are eating them alive...and yet they stay. Part of this is because they feel that people will think they are unstable or unreliable if they keep changing jobs. Others are just afraid they that if they found a new job, it would be worse than the one they have now. Or maybe they would lose insurance, or they would never be able to get what they are being paid now. Everyone has their own situation to deal with.

And then there are those who relentlessy pursue the "What Should I Do With My Life?" question. They are looking for their "calling" or the experience of having work that doesn't feel like work because they love it so much. When it comes to answering this "Meaning of Life" question, there seem to be two basic types of people in this world. Knowers and Seekers.

Knowers
The knowers are people whose lives seem to follow a straight line path, like Mother Teresa or Bill Clinton. They knew exactly what they were meant to do from a very early age. They are focused and have acheived really great things. They experience turmoil like all of us, but in a different way. They are focused on HOW to get what they KNOW they want. The rest of us have to first figure out WHAT we really want. These are the "Seekers"

Seekers
Seekers long for a clear vision of who they are and a clear idea of what they should do for a living. Seekers spend a good portion of their lives seeking answers to these questions before finding what they were meant to do. We are on a constant journey to discover ourselves and keep up with who we are as we evolve. We go through periods of great joy and periods of change, turmoil, agony and self-doubt as we sort out answers to questions like:

• What will make me happy?
• Why can't I be consistently energetic and focused every day of my life?
• Why do I get so easily distracted?
• Why do I say things I wish I could take back?
• Why can't I find a job or career that I really love?
• Why do I stay in a job I hate?
• What should I do with the rest of my life?
• What is my purpose?
• What are the talents I have and how can use them to make a living AND be happy?
• How do I get the courage to change?
• I used to love doing "xyz" but I don't anymore. Why?

And on and on. Some seekers embrace the journey, others struggle. Some seekers become so distraught, they are often told, "You think too much" too. Or maybe "you have ADD", or "you are depressed and need an antidepressant so you can cope with the way things are. "

I should, I should, I should...
Whatever labels people put on you, being a seeker isn't an easy journey. Seekers are often misunderstood and often feel lost. We get so many messages about what we "Should" be like, it's no wonder we become our own harshest critics. Media messages and images bombard us with images of the perfect home, the perfect family, the cool and hip places to be and things to wear. They portray this perfect way to be that most of us can't live up to. They make it seem like you should never have to feel depressed. You should always be in control of your anger. You should always have a clear goal and direction. And so you think there must be something terribly wrong with you if you can't be at least a reasonable facsimile of all this hip, cool, savvy perfection.

Is Depression Really Bad?
Sensitive seekers often take these critical messages to heart. Any flaw is taken as a sign there must be some "disorder". Well, come on. We are all human! If 40-50% of are depressed or exhibit signs of ADD....is it still an actual disorder? Maybe we are just having a natural reaction to living in a society filled with media "noise". A society where people are afraid to let their kids go outside and play alone. Where everyone locks their doors and no one can visit anyone without calling first. Where we only get exercise by going to the gym. Where manners are a forgotten art. Where models and celebrities are worshipped over people of character. (can you believe the top 20 most popular searches on the internet world wide are about celebrities and TV shows?)

Maybe it's normal to be depressed and stressed out in this very unnatural enviroment. The majority of us do experience depression, anger, self-doubt, distraction, and mood swings. As humans, we need to feel pain sometimes. It's a signal from our higher selves that we need to change something. It could be we need to change an attitude, a habit, or even a situation or relationship. If we numb ourselves with medication or addictive activities to avoid our pain, so that we can continue to stay in jobs or relationships that are eating us alive...how can we learn to listen to and strengthen our inner selves to find a way to gather the strength and courage to change? To figure out how to successfully make a living in this society while still be true to our selves?

Is it unstable? fear of commitment? or healthy change?
There are a lot of labels for people who change jobs and relationshops "frequently" in pursuit of the finding a life that they love. But to me, if you are truly following your heart, and learning and growing from each experience, then starting and stopping different jobs, projects, hobbies, and even relationships does not automatically make you "unstable", unable to commit, or a bad person. Your personal evolutionary path may be different from others, but that doesn't mean it's "wrong."

How do you know the difference between "different" and "unhealthy"?
There is no simple answer to that. But, if you ARE NOT able to take care of yourself, pay your own bills, maintain a home, or keep making the SAME mistakes, or if you are getting the SAME negative feedback from, and having the SAME problems with everyone, and don't get any wiser or feel any better, you probably aren't growing, and need professional support of some kind.

You may even need medication to stabilize you while you figure out a better way to reach your goals. But it's worth getting a second opinion before you assume there is something terribly wrong with you because you haven't found your path to bliss in life yet.

Finding a life you love, means learning to accept yourself as you ARE, and not overly dwelling on what you wish you were or think you "should" be. When you start to learn from your pain, that's when you begin to grow, make peace with yourself and others, and ultimately find your niche in the world.

Follow Your Heart
When I was in the process of making yet another career evolution in my life, a dear wise friend of mine said this to me.

"Are you following your heart? If you are, the people who would criticize you for that are probably not the kind of people who have acheived great happiness or accomplishments themselves. Some of the most creative people in the world have been through many incarnations and have multiple interests and professions. They continuously learn, change and act accordingly. Adaptation is a great survival skill. So as long as you keep learning and keep doing your best, go for it. The people who love you, your real friends will support you."

I'll never forget that. It was an amazing moment of clarification, self-acceptance and peace for me. So which are you? A Seeker or a Knower? Are you following your heart?

"What Should I Do with My life?"
If you are interested in this topic, check out this amazing book by Po Bronson called "What Should I Do with My Life?" He provides heartfelt stories of true seekers who took incredibly diverse paths to find their calling in life and answer the question "What should I do with my life?." From the depths of depression, welfare, abuse, and more, the people profiled by Po, took winding paths filled with change and courage to eventually find their bliss. It was a wonderful inspiration to me in answering that question for myself.

All the best,