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Sylvie Raquer

Hello, My name is Sylvie Raquer and i'm searching for a group of any kind What is Hoarding and Compulsive Hoarding? that could help me with my problem in Montreal.

If you have any new you would be bless to write me back because i am exhaused to try to clean and clean and it never seemn to get better.

Merci beaucoup ! I'm french by the way for Montréal.

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

Here are links to sites I know are out there...I'm not necessarily recommending them because I don't know your situation, but just wanted to list them here....


http://clutterless.org/index.html

http://understanding_ocd.tripod.com/hoarding.html

http://squalorsurvivors.com/

http://clutterless.org/index.html

Recovery Connection

Hoarders are not lazy or bad housekeepers but rather suffer from a very real mental condition. Hoarding can reach such levels that people can barely live with the amount of stuff being collected. Apart from the high possibility of accidents occurring, hoarders soon suffer from a withdrawal from reality along with feelings of paranoia and obsessive compulsiveness. Hoarding has to be treated as the mental illness that it is. For professional help, you could log on to http://www.recoveryconnection.org/. or call 1-800-993-3869 and get help now.

Beverly Wade

www.compulsive-hoarding.org is a brand new information resource website for those who have a problem with clutter or hoarding. The site has been created by experienced declutter and organise consultants Beverly Wade and Chrystine Bennett of www.cluttergone.co.uk

Between them with the help, support and insights of their clients, together with the experiences they have had with them, have published their thoughts, ideas and research for others to share.

Hoarders@sfpseattle.com

Hoarders on A&E is casting its second season of the groundbreaking documentary television series that sheds much needed light on this complicated and underreported condition.

Each hour long episode will follow two individuals who suffer from this mental illness thru a crisis situation that is directly caused by their hoarding.

services needed by the hoarder include mental health support, professional organizers, and professional cleanup and/or junk removal services. Each case will be considered on an individual basis, and services will be tailored to fit individual needs.


If you or someone you know is a compulsive hoarder please go to our website to learn more information and to apply: http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/

Sharon Lambert

Hi. I hoard clothes. Maybe it's because my three siblings and I were neglected and forced to wear the same clothes every day, causing us to be bullied and picked on in school. I'm 52yrs old and I want tons and tons of clothes. I buy them at Goodwill because I can't afford new. I would rather have quantity than quality any day. Besides, the advice about building a wardrobe with only 3 or 4 colors is silly, I think, because people would only see me in the same 3 or 4 colors! Do you think my childhood has something to do with my hoarding? Thanks... Sharon

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

Hi Sharon, everything about us is shaped in somehow by our childhood. But knowing that doesn't really change anything. If you are concerned about the hoarding, or it's causing you problems, a more productive question might be, how do I learn to live with the right amount of clothes for me? If you aren't happy having to spend a lot of time doing laundry, or having to spend a lot of time on clothing to the extent it's interfering with your quality of life, the more helpful questions are ones that help you discover a system that works for you.

p.s. I agree, you don't have to build around 3 or 4 colors, but it does work for a lot of people. Whatever works for you is fine with me. : )

anonymous

I'm the 28 year old son of a hoarder. For almost my entire life my mother has been allowing her junk to pile up in every available space in our home. As a child and through my teens I was always to embarassed to have friends over so I never really did. It also didn't make having a girlfriend an easy task.
Over the years things in our house started to break down, but even my father was to embarresed to have a repairmen over. We had racoons living in our walls and ceilings for years, using our home as a toilet, before my older brother eventually called an exterminator. There are holes in the walls, the plumbing is horrible, and we don't have electricity in every part of the house, a water pipe broke in the basement so there is now dangerous mold all over the basement carpet and our kitchen is not usable. Our house is a disaster.
I've tried to clean by myself but my mother yells at me and tells me not to touch her stuff. She doesn't want me throw any of her important stuff away. I guess I fail to see the importance of a phone bill from 1989 or a basket from easter of 97'. Anything I do manage to clean just gets cluttered again within a week or so.
When I moved out of the house, my bedroom became her next victim. It was the same for all of my siblings rooms. I've tried to talk to my mother about it but she literally wont even speak about it. I haven't seen her clean anything in 10 years. It's driving me insane. I don't know how to handle it. Whats happening in our home has been a desease to our family. It has effected relationships and I hate to say it, It's made me resent my mother. My mothers hoarding and unwillingness to accept help, I fear, will result in health problems or our house will surcome to the elements.....Any Advise?
P.S. Oh I forgot to mention She also spends god know how much money on shopping for god know what.


Barbara Allen

Hello, adult child of a hoarder with a new blog with excerpts from my memoir "Nice children stolen from Car."
Stop by and see it at www.nicechildrenstolenfromcar.blogspot.com

donna

Hi Ariane,
Couldn't locate an email link for you, but I guess this should be ok to post this-

Just wanted to mention the video you have posted on this page might be posted at Reclaiming Dignity, but it was created by www.childrenofhoarders.com.

Also wanted to mention you have links here to an old site I had, www.helpinghoarders.com--but that site is no longer any good. The domain expired and an advertiser picked it up, and I don't have the funds to try and buy it back from them. So wanted you to know that is an advertiser now, posing as a hoarding info site I guess! The associated blog I used to have for helpinghoarders.com is no longer either.

Thanks very much-you look like you are keeping busy!

Donna Austin
www.childrenofhoarders.com

donna

P.S., I read you were thinking about doing a section here for Children of Hoarders-that's great! Maybe you did already and I can't find it? If it's here, please help me find it as I'm looking forward to it as you have so much good information on here about everything else.

Donna

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

Hi Donna! Thanks for the heads up on the broken links...that's a shame...I wish I'd known...I would have donated the fees to buy the URL for you. Next time let me know if something like that happens.

Know I haven't created the ACOH page yet... ...probably not till fall...I have my hands FULL right now. even breaking my own rule and working this weekend to get caught up.

But in the meantime, if you have any articles you would like me to post here I would be most happy too! and of course include links back to you.

Take care!
Ariane

Cie

It's just nice to find a place that is non-judgmental. I know I have a problem and I am working on it to the best of my abilities. I have several comorbid mental illnesses but I am not using this as an excuse. I have bipolar disorder type II, borderline personality disorder, panic disorder, and obviously OCD manifesting as hoarding. I'm sure they're all interconnected. Part of the problem is, I was undiagnosed until I was 38 years old. Another part of the problem is I continually felt sorry for my ex husband and would let him come live with me and my son--not in a romantic way, but in the spare room--so he wouldn't be out in the street. He was severely depressed and did not lift a finger to help. So things became an even worse mess. He has finally moved for good as my son said if I let him back in he'll have me committed.
This will sound crazy but I think part of my problem extends back to my early childhood. My mother would repeat these crazy stories that were told to her by her devoutly religious grandmother. One of the stories was that if a picture of someone were destroyed, that person's soul would be destroyed. Thus I have always found it difficult to dispose of magazines which have pictures of children, even though I now know this is not a rational idea that was planted into my head. I also have problems with keeping stuff that I "might need someday."
At this point I'm going to be having to move come next summer. The cost of living in my current area is far too high. I've always been busy so I said I'd deal with this stuff someday. Well, someday is now and it's a nightmare. I feel like crying and am so angry with myself for allowing it to get this way.
As I said, I know I have a problem, so I guess I just wanted to vent. Thank you for making this site and for not thinking of those of us with this problem as lazy pigs, which is what I heard about myself so much through the years, that I was a lazy pig.

Tottie

Thank you for this amazing site and the list of resources. It gives me hope that at 62 years old I can move toward leading a better life.

This morning I am letting someone in my house for the first time in 6 years (other than my son in law and daughter) I am literally forcing myself to let this stranger inside these walls because I need his help with my computer for my work and I am ashamed of myself for canceling appointments with him. I can't mess his schedule up any more because of my problem. I was so upset at 3 a.m. this morning trying to clear a path for him that I actually threw up and now I am getting very nervous because I don't want anyone to see how I live. Look at what I am doing right now....spending time on this site writing these thoughts instead of working on clearing the path.

Well, I would love to spend more time here this morning on this site but I have to move some stuff so he can come through my front door. I can't express my embarrassment. I have know for months that this day was coming.

Tottie

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

Tottie, I know this is so hard for you…try to stay focused on
how BRAVE you are!  This is a HUGE accomplishment!    There is no shame in getting the help you need…whatever the problem you have. 

One of the most interesting and powerful lessons I have learned about releasing shame…is that whatever your problems are…they are also the source of some of the deepest and most loving and intimate connections you can ever have with other people. 

Your honesty will be a source of inspiration to others. Those who judge…you don’t want in your life anyway.  I hope you can feel this for yourself….you are so deserving of compassion and support – just because you exist.  You don’t have to “earn” it or live up to other’s expectations to deserve compassion.   You just have to accept it.  : )  

Sending big hugz to you!

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

Cie - Thank you for sharing your story...you are so not alone. i'm glad you feel safe here. : )

Frustrated and scared

Hi Ariane (and all) I am a wife and mother of older children and my husband is a hoarder. our house is not as bad as some on the tv shows (no rodents and such and we don't have 50 cats- just 2) but it is still pretty awful. I have not had company over hardly ever and we pretty much don't have any serious friends probably because of this. My husband "collects" everything under the sun and still keeps wanting/getting more! Now things have come to a head because we have been asked by our landlord to find a new place to live...after 20 years living here!! To make matters worse, my husband was recently injured while we were on vacation and had to have surgery! The landlord is giving us time due to this but it still is imminantly there. I am at my wits end and don't know where to begin!! I can not even find a suitable residence for us and our pets (2 cats and a dog) and prices are very high and I have NO IDEA where to start with all this stuff!! I am having trouble focusing on work and I feel so helpless. Any suggestions? Thanks! Loving, but frustrated wife.

Gerry Cohen, President

Memo to Ariane from Gerry Cohen, president of Gerrus Maintenance Inc.
We do not directly provide organizing, but we do provide all cleaning, deodorization and sanitizing.

Gerry Cohen,
President
GERRUS MAINTENANCE INC.
info@gerrus.com
www.gerrus.com/hoarding.php
732-225-0662

Jennifer burns

My brother in law is a cronic hoarder, anything from books, newspapers, clutter and general rubbish.....he is about to loose his house due to considerable debt! As a family we feel the problem is to big for us to deal with and that he needs professional help, he says he is getting help but with the continuous lies over storage containers (he has many) and lying to conceal his hoarding we dont know weather to belive him or not, we are in melbourne australia and in desperate need of help to try and solve this issue before he hits absolute rock bottom
Jeni.

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

Jennifer,

Family members usually cannot help hoarders - it is a serious disturbance and traumatized state of being that requires deep understanding, infinite patience and compassionate, skilled treatment. The treatment is "counterintuitive" to the logical mind so family members often end up estranged, angry and deeply frustrated. It's much like treating a heroin addiction to be honest. You cannot save an addict from themselves using conventional means. I strongly suggest you seek professional help for yourselves to cope with this and to help you figure out a way to stage an appropriate intervention that will not further traumatize your BIL.

I wish you much luck in finding the right team. In Australia you can start your search online here:

http://www.aapo.org.au/

Warmest Regards,
Ariane

vicky

I am so touched by reading that there are others like myself who struggle with hoarding. I feel so guilty for not having my kid's friends over or even my own friends from work. I want to change and I have tried. Things stay clean for a little while and then they go right back to stuff everywhere. Any advice on how I should start getting on track with out being judgemental of myself? I just feel like I am on a roller coaster ride of cleaning and failing and then being depressed because I failed.

Thanks again for having this site available- it is a lifeline for so many.

Nick

If you need help cleaning out a hoarders home in the New York City area, please feel free to contact us. We can discretely help families get rid of the clutter and chaos related to compulsive hoarding disorder. We are very experienced in dealing with the trauma attached to disposal of a persons beloved items. There is hope.

Vanessa Phearson

Perhaps this is a shameless plug, but I own a hoarding cleanup company ( www.cendecon.com ) and have worked with hundreds of hoarders and family members of hoarders. We are available to help families in California.

Happy Holidays.

Sharon Heddle

Someone I recently met told me they are a hoarder and they are tired of it and want to clean out their home but can't get started and needs some help. This is a huge undertaking, one that I can't do but can be supportive. I have looked on line for people or services that can come in and assist my new friend with this but have had not luck finding even one company in CT that does this. Where should I be looking and are there key words I should search for on line? I want to give my friend the information and see if the desire is still there, or at least he has it if he wants to move forwrd later. I would appreciate any direction anyone can give me.

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