NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Ariane Benefit, Organizing Coach

High IQ Is No Help For Those With ADHD who Underachieve

The article below highlights the very real downside of having ADHD in a world that isn't very accepting of people who are different from them.

Not being able to do certain things as others expect us to like: be on time all the time, or get ourselves to follow through on our plans easily, or even get up early in the morning, can cause ADDers (even those with High IQs who do accomplish a lot) to feel like we can never really live up to our "potential." 

In fact, this pervasive sense of underachieving haunts most ADDers constantly.  It is one of the defining traits used to diagnosis ADD.  And, it is a source of profound grief that often leads to chronic depression and anxiety among ADDers. This is partly why ADD is often misdiagnosed and is actually VERY under diagnosed in Adults. (Another reason being the myth that children "outgrow" ADHD.) 

Growing up with undiagnosed ADD in an environment that does not value the gifts of ADD, but focuses instead on punishing and criticizing the differences and our inability to conform to other's values is inherently traumatic.  Years of trying to please parents, teachers and bosses who with good intentions try to "fix" something that can't be fixed easily leaves the individual with an underlying sense of hopelessness and innate "not good enough-ness" that can be paralyzing in and of itself.  

The thing is that ADD can't and never will be "cured" or "fixed".  It is a different kind of brain!  it can only be accomodated, managed and/or minimized with treatments such as education / awareness, right brain - left brain integration strategies, stress reduction, exercise and other self-care strategies, and custom organizing and time management structures / systems / approaches co-designed with the ADDers active participation. And yes, sometimes medication is needed as well.   

In a recently released book called Getting Unstuck: Unraveling the connection between Depression, Attention, and Trauma , the author Dr. Don Kerson, says that being "stuck" is the result of a complex interaction between depression, attention deficit disorder and dissociation (a consequence of childhood trauma caused by living with ADD and the chronic negative feedback that comes with it).

The more I read this book the more I understand why I was so motivated and actually COMPELLED to create my coaching group called Getting Unstuck. Stuckness is a different thing from procrastination and the treatment is much more complex that glib tips like "Just Do it".  The treatment for stuckness is complex.  It includes biological, bio-chemical, environmental and organizational changes as well as exercises to heal and stimulate integration of the right brain and left brain (AKA the Planner and the Doer funtions of the brain as Dr. Kerson points out).

Effective treatment also requires ongoing support and understanding from people who accept you as you are...and who can help you release the shame and pain of years of chronic and constant negative feedback from both others and yourself for not being able to do things the way others do. 

People don't realize it, but years of being told: 

•  you think too much,

• you try too hard...

• you ask too many questions,

• why can't you just do it?  Why can't you just clean your room?  or get out of bed when the alarm goes off?  or follow the instructions I gave you?  or hang up your clothes?  follow that diet program? etc.

and on and on...is in itself traumatic and has profound consequences.  These are negative and painful messages that say "if you need more details than I do in order to act on something, there is something very wrong with you."  To the child and adult hearing those messages over and over again - that means "unloveable" and that has devastating consequences. 

When parents, teachers, friends and bosses say things like that to someone, they don't realize that the recipient hears those messages constantly and from LOTS of people - over and over again - at home, on job performance reviews, even from their doctors!  And it all adds up to magnify the condition of ADD and compound it with very low self-esteem.

I highly recommend Dr. Kerson's book...and in fact, it is now what I consider a foundational theoretical underpinning for my coaching group. Thank you Dr. Kerson for adding a layer of understanding from the field of psychiatry and mental health that I've been working on from an organizational  and educational perspective. Your insights and work are much appreciated!

Getting Unstuck: Unraveling the connection between Depression, Attention, and Trauma

____________________________

And Here's the article that inspired me to write this....

Medical News Today
High IQ Is No Help For Those With ADHD, Yale Researchers Find
19 May 2009

Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/150478.php

Superior intelligence is no defense against the effects of attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, Yale researchers have found.

About three of four ADHD individuals with an IQ of more than 120 - a score that ranks them in the top nine percent of the U.S. population - showed significant impairments in memory and cognitive tests when compared to people with similar IQ's who do not suffer from the disorder, according to the researchers.

The report, to be published in the September print edition of the Journal of Attention Disorders, is now available online.

"Many of these people are told they can't be suffering the loss of executive function (the ability to plan and carry out many day-to-day tasks) from ADHD because they are too smart,'' said Thomas E. Brown, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and lead author of the study.

The high-IQ, ADHD group lacked self-management skills and the ability to focus. They tended to procrastinate and be forgetful and had difficulty in harnessing their talent to complete many daily tasks, the study found. In fact, 73 percent of the ADHD population showed significant deficits in five or more of the eight measures of executive function.

"Each of these individuals might be compared to a symphony orchestra of very talented musicians who cannot produce adequate symphonic music because the orchestra lacks an effective conductor," the authors wrote.

Philipp C. Reichel and Donald M. Quinlan of Yale are co-authors of the paper.

Source
Yale University

My Top 10 Tips for Clutter-Free Living

Can you really ever be clutter-free? Well, probably not. I mean, who has time to obsess constantly about whether or not there is clutter somewhere in your house? We all have some clutter, after all, we are human!  I have found there is a certain degree of "clutter" or mess that just doesn't bother me. It's more important to me to live than to make sure I'm tidy all the time.  Things don't interfere with my life unless they are in my way of using my space and getting important things done.  Having containers full of memorabilia in my attic is not a nuisance unless I can't walk around in my attic. The important thig is that I have strategies will keep things in balance and not let it get overwhelming.

According to Merriam-Webster, to clutter is:

"to fill or cover with scattered or disordered things
 that impede movement or reduce effectiveness."

If you have clutter that keeps getting in your way, and significantly impedes your ability to be effective, or to have company in your home, it's time to get serious about letting go.  But doing it all at once is not always an option, nor is it recommended. There is a grieving process we go through as we let go of things...and letting go of too much too fast could be overwhelming.  If we get overwhelmed, we'll avoid letting go in the future, so better to do it chunks that we can feel good about, no?

So here are my Top 10 strategies and habits that much make it much easier to "maintain" a reasonable amount of clutter and prevent accumulating more.  I hope you find them helpful! 

1. Make an art form out of donating! I keep a DONATE bag in my bedroom and a DONATE bin in my basement. When I wear something and decide I no longer like it, in the bag it goes. When I go in a drawer and realize I have a shirt I haven't worn in forever and never will again, in the bag it goes. When I buy a new shirt and need room to put it away, I pick one to go. Same type of strategy goes elsewhere in the house. I regularly scan for things to bring to the basement donate bin. To make the whole system work, I have a regularly scheduled pickup from the Vietnam Vets of America http://www.vva.org/ and my goal is to fill up at least one bag or box. Every 2 weeks during the summer and as needed in the winter, I put out our donations of clothing and household goods just like we put out our recycling. You might think I would eventually run out of stuff and my house would be empty. But trust me, that will never happen. This strategy helps us maintain a balance between incoming and outgoing so I don't drown in clutter like I used to.

2. Purge the Fridge weekly. Every week before we grocery shop, we scan the fridge for what to get rid of so we can put everything away when we get back. The funny thing is, because we do this, we always know what we have and almost never have to throw anything away.

3. Don't watch commercials on TV. Seriously, since we got our DVR, I never watch commercials, and so I save a lot of time, I'm less stressed and less tempted to impulse buy -- or impulse eat for that matter. I can watch American Idol in about 20 minutes!

4. Don't shop or look at catalogs unless you are looking for something specific. This was not easy to do at first, but it has gotten much easier to throw those I don't need for work right into the recycle bin. I used to be quite the gadget junkie. Window shopping and looking through catalogs for the latest new stuff was "fun" for me. Not actively looking for stuff to buy has made a huge difference in my life. The money saved has helped me stay out of debt for over 10 years. The time saved is much better used doing stuff like writing this article. I got off the junk mail lists and when a catalog or sales ads come to my home I AUTOMATICALLY put them directly in the recycle bin.  This used to be really difficult, but now I don't even think twice.  I love the freedom it gives me!

5. Don't buy anything unless you know exactly what you plan to do with it and where it will live. Nothing comes into the house without a home to go to. It's amazing how this works. Whereas before we would get items home and then agonize about where to put it and end up regretting buying it when we can't find a home, we now do all that agonizing in the store. And voila! The items we can't think of homes for never make it out of the store and we don't have to deal with the clutter!

6. NO more Freebies!!! Being a recovering "infomaniac" I used to go to events and make sure I got every freebie being given out.  It was something I never questioned. Free? Of course I'll take one! But no more. Once I finally let go of all that stuff that had accumulated around my house, I was determined not to let it pile up again. So I was very proud that at a NAPO Conference, I did not bring home the little votive candles and other little trinkets being handed out. I already have a drawer full of candles I don't use often. I only brought home freebies I can really use. What a difference!

7. Put Paper Recycling bins on every floor. If your home has 2 or 3 floors, or even if your office is far from your kitchen, you need more than one bin for recycling. I keep a paper grocery bag under my desk. Now I never have an excuse to hold on to paper I don't need. When going through the mail, I often get things that are "interesting." I used to keep them and let them pile up. But now, I say to myself, "I was fine before this arrived in my hand. If they hadn't gotten hold of my address I wouldn't have it. I didn't ask for it, therefore I can let it go. If I still remember it tomorrow or next week, I can dig it out of the recycling bin. If not, I didn't need it anyway!"

8. Move anything you don't use often to long term storage so it's not in your way. Anything we don't use often gets moved out of our living space to the attic, basement or garage. In our basement, we have a closet for linens that aren't being used, like for blankets during the winter. If we don't use them 2 years in a row, to the donation bin they go. Our garage is off the kitchen, so we moved quite a few of the appliances we only use occasionally like fondue pots and waffle irons, out to the garage.

9. Trust that you will always be able to get what you need somehow. In many ways trust is the opposite of fear. When you trust that you will be able to get what you need, you can let go of the fear of running out or of not having enough, then you won't need to stockpile as much. If you trust that you will probably always have money for the things you really need and that you will be able to find things on sale again, you can more easily resist buying everything on sale just because you "might never see prices that low again." Everything goes on sale on a regular basis. If you watch, you will see that just about ever 4-6 weeks paper towels are half price. So, buy a 12 pack if you know you will use them and you have plenty of space to store them, but don't buy 5 12-paks. They will very likely go on sale again before you use up 60 rolls! At least I hope you aren't using THAT many paper towels. If you are you can save a fortune investing in some great cotton kitchen towels!

10. Give everything a home where it's not in your way, and where you can find it when you need it. This is nothing new, my grandmother always said "There's a place for everything and everything in its place"  I never quite understood how to do that when I was a kid, and it used to annoy the heck out me.  But now I get it. What is new for us today, is the sheer volume of things we need to give homes to. Like that extra recycling bin for all that junk mail, or a place for the remotes, the cell phone, etc.  My grandmother never had to deal with these things. But if you simplify your life and use tips 1-9 regularly, you will have hopefully fewer things that you need to find homes for!

Hope these tips help you!

Simplifying Your Life - Free Class on Wednesday!

Just a reminder that I'm giving a free teleclass on ADDClasses.com this coming Wednesday!

Here are the details:

_______________________________

TITLE: Simplifying Your Life:  Strategies that Work for ADHD 


(and work for anyone with "ADD-Like Traits" or a Creative Personality Type)

DATE: Wednesday, February 18, 2009

TIME: 2:00 PM Eastern Standard Time

_____________________________

Tara McGillicuddy, is also giving a free class

TITLE: Is it Really about Time?

DATE: Tuesday February 24, 2009

TIME: 9:00 pm EST

_________________________________

The classes are free, but you do have to
signup for AddClasses.com by clicking here

Hope to see you there!

You're Invited to a FREE Q & A Conference Call with Me on Friday 2/13!

This month, on the Neat & Simple Living Radio Show, Ellen Shapiro, Bernadette Armiento and I are talking about "getting unstuck" in all the areas of our lives. 

You get to call in and tell us what's making you feel "stuck", whether it's about money, filing tax returns, organizing, clutter, eating healthy, exercising, business projects, financial matters, procrastination, perfectionism, whatever!

Don't miss this opportunity to discuss your challenges and get ideas from three coaches at once! A truly holistic approach to address the obstacles to your success.

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!

Date / Time: 2/13/2009 1:00 PM EASTERN

This event will be simulcast. You can listen over the web on Blog Talk Radio

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/neatandsimpleliving

OR

You call in and join the discussion!

DIAL IN:  (712) 432-0600

Access Code: 285167#


We look forward to seeing you on Friday!

Ariane, Ellen & Bernadette

Simplifying Your Life: Strategies that Work - FREE CLASS!

I'm so excited!  I've been a big fan of ADDClasses.com for a long time.  And now I'm going to be an instructor there!  I'll be giving a FREE one hour teleclass, so mark your calendar!

Here are the details:

TITLE: Simplifying Your Life:  Strategies that Work for People with ADHD 
(and anyone with "ADD-Like Traits" or a Creative Personality Type)

DATE: Feb. 18

TIME: 2:00 PM Eastern Standard Time

There will also be a handout, so don't miss this!

The class is free, but you do have to signup for AddClasses.com by clicking here

p.s. I gave a 2 hour version of this class to my Getting Unstuck Coaching Group this past Thursday and people really loved it!  Here are a few of the comments I got after the class:

"the slides were a great reference point and later memory aid. lots to think about and try out. thanks."

"these calls are such a source of energy for me and I am trying to build in a block of time right after for taking action."

"I have gained so much in just the few weeks that we have been doing the calls... You doing such a wonderful thing with the calls The program is wonderful, filled with extremely helpful information.   Thanks for everything that you are doing for us!!!"

"This is good information. Your "class" and "sharings" today are wonderful. Thanks."

"Excellent info. thanks..."

(BY THE WAY: It's not too late to join!  You will get to listen to the past month's worth of recordings, download the 39 page version of the handout, PLUS get 3 additional months of classes and coaching calls with me.  but that's not all, you also get my office and paper organizing books AND Suzanne Babb's ebooks!  Learn More Here)

Don't forget to mark the date in your Calendar! 
   

See you there!

The TRUE cost of things

"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life, which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run."
--Henry David Thoreau

When you think about buying things, or decide to keep things you no longer really love or use, how often do you stop and think about the true cost of things?  I'm talking about the true cost of owning the thing throughout it's life cycle.  

For example, are you aware of how much time you spend maintaining the things you own?

When you think about buying something, do you think about the time, energy and money it will take to:

- Shopping for things
- Choosing and buying things
- Storing things, choosing and buying containers, shelves etc. 
- Fixing things (especially houses and cars - do you really plan for all the repairs?)
- Cleaning things
- Looking for things
- Inventorying and insuring things
- Worrying about people taking your things and paying for security systems
- Yelling at your kids about things
- Fighting with your spouse about things
- Figuring out how to let go of things such as finding some one to give them to

How much of the cost of your home actually goes directly to storing things you can't find when you need them anyway?

Do you argue with people in your life about stuff? Is it worth the trouble?

What would you do with your time, energy and money if you didn't have to worry about so many things?

Are your things helping you avoid having to make the tough decisions about what you really want to be and do with your?  Are they filling a void in your heart and soul?  Keeping you stuck in pattern that is painful but familiar and therefore its hard to change? 

Starting to let go of unneeded things gradually can actually help you face this.  Sometimes the first step in stopping the cycle is just to acquire less and refocus all that shopping energy on self-care.  

How would your life be different with fewer clothes? fewer books, DVDs, CDs? fewer magazines? less junk mail? fewer toys? fewer photos? a smaller house? no car payments?  

MORE FROM THE WEB AND BLOGOSPHERE ON THE TRUE COST OF THINGS AND LIVING WITH LESS 

• ZEN HABITS Leo Babauta published a free e-book on Thriving on Less: Simplifying in a Tough Economy that is worth a read. He has also published a book on the Power of Less. I haven't read it, but thought you might like to know!
   GET FREE DOWNLOAD
  
• THE DEBT FREE KID - A neat post by Karissa about the true price of things...a great reminder that things really don't buy happiness.
  
• GREEN FERTILITY - Here's a neat couple of posts about the true cost of things...like the true cost of a dozen eggs...and the true cost of low cost food...this one really opened my eyes.
  
• THE TRUE COST OF OWNING A HOME - Owning a home may not be as much of an investment as you think...if you are thinking of owning  a home, think it all the way through and DON"T let the mortgage companies talk you into "buying the largest home you can afford"  or "don't worry about the total cost, just think about the monthly payment"   The total true cost can be as must as 5 TIMES the monthly payment to cover utilities, property taxes and maintenance. Even if you have two incomes, I always recommend buying a home you could afford on 25 - 40% of the lower income ALONE.  The freedom is so worth it! 
  
• THE TRUE COST OF DRIVING  A neat little calculator to help you learn the TRUE cost of driving your car. You might be really astonished! 
  
• THE TRUE COST OF CREDIT  - Tells you what it really costs to use your credit cards.
  
• THE WALDEN POND PROJECT - An activity to help kids learn the true cost of things.

Do you have or know of a great post on the true cost of things?

Post your link below!

Are you dreading tax season? Are you ready to take charge of your financial paperwork?

I vividly remember how hard it is was to live under that constant feeling of "impending doom" that comes along with not being prepared to file my tax return and running out to the post office in the middle of the night to meet the deadline. I also remember how hard it was to be living under a mountain debt.  That's why I've written so many posts about Organizing Your Finances over the past few years. (Remember my post about how I got out of $25,000 in debt?)

In economic times like this, it's more important that ever to know the state of your financial health, and take steps to "weather the storm"  like lower your "fixed" expenses, pay bills on time and not pay late fees, lower your interest rates, pay off debt, and file your tax returns on time so you don't pay penalties or extra charges to tax preparers because you filed an extension. 

If you feel overwhelmed about dealing with financial matters like these, then YOU are the inspiration for my newest educational coaching program, a holistic financial empowerment coaching program unlike anything you have EVER seen before!  

My partner, Ellen Shapiro (who happens to be an MBA and CPA with a degree in Psychology AND is a Certified Repatterning Practitioner AND a Sedona Method coach) brings an amazing combination of talents and experience to help you overcome fear, dread and overwhelm around finances, getting ready
for taxes, dealing with credit card debt, and organizing your paperwork. In fact, she is now our resident Prosperous Living Coach and is hosting a regular support group forum / workshop within the Getting Unstuck Group!  We have been incubating Taking Charge of your Finances program for over a year now. 

WHY?  Because we have both had to overcome our own issues with finances and we BOTH have extensive experience in helping other people do it, too. We KNOW that it's not enough to just give tips on how to set up a bill pay system, or how to organize your paperwork for tax time. 

You also have to make a "mindset" and "energy" shift AS WELL as learn the "how to's" to truly conquer "financial phobias" and get over strong emotional resistance to dealing with money.  People like me who grew up on welfare and knew nothing about how to handle money or credit cards when we finally had some to deal with, plus have ADD, have an especially difficult time absorbing and applying everything you have to learn to manage your finances.  That's why our Taking Charge of your Finances program provides you with holistic support over a 3 month period. We help you:

-  Deal with and overcome your emotional issues and fears PLUS

- Understand the basic concepts involved in financial management, PLUS

- Learn the "how tos" of organizing the systems and routines that empower you PLUS

- Deal with communication issues with your spouse/partner PLUS

- Deal with your brain issues like ADHD or ADD-like personality traits such as dislike of routine, impulsivity etc. 

- Stay motivated throughout the transitional period of changing your habits by providing ongoing support between sessions.

The Power of Repatterning

Repatterning is a powerful tool to create mindset change, shift your energy and clear negative beliefs. Ellen will provide a one hour session on each 2 hour call to help you feel confident and capable of getting your finances in order. I've experienced many sessions with her now and I can tell you that it never ceases to amaze me not only how transformed I feel after, but also how much people LOVE her work and rave about it after the call.  If you haven't already, you listen to a FREE Repatterning session on our Blog Talk Radio show here.  

There has never a program like this anywhere before that combines the skills of: CPA, MBA, Educator/Instructional Design Expert, Financial Organizing Expert, ADD Coach, Cognitive Behavioral Belief Reframing, and Repatterning Practioner ALL in one program.  

WHEN / WHERE / HOW

DATES: January 29th, February 19th and March 19th.  By the time we are done, you could have your tax paperwork completely ready to go, or maybe even already Filed! Wouldn't that be awesome to be able to enjoy the spring without that hanging over your head?

NOTE: If you happen to be reading this after the 29th
you can still join - everything is recorded for you
and we will still be there to provide you with support.

TIME: Calls are Thursdays from 11:00 am - 1:00pm EST (Eastern Standard Time) 
The calls will also be recorded and available for download immediately after the call. 

All this alone is worth the normal price of a 3 month membership, $297, but for the first 100 people to join, the price is only $197.  There are already 25 members, and we would love to have you join us! 

Ready to Enroll now?  Click here

This 6 hour program with personal coaching over 3 months is an amazing value.  The program could stand alone, but it's even more effective combined with the support you get from being part of the Getting Unstuck forum and website. You will get not only this program...but you will also get my Office Organizing Book, The Neat & Simple Guide to Organizing Your Office, my paper organizing Book, Take Charge of your Paper, my Neat & Simple Paper Retention Guide, and a wealth of other resources. But you will get even more! Here's a few of the other classes lined up for the next 3 months that you can participate in as well.  NO EXTRA CHARGE.

__________________

Simplifying Your Life

What it really takes to simplify, what gets us stuck and how to get unstuck so you can take steps to make your life simpler and easier. We'll also be covering how Creative Personality Type, ADHD, and ADD-like traits affect your ability to keep life simple and what you can do about it!  (February 5)

__________________

Simple Solutions to Healthy Eating Challenges

Bernadette Armiento, Certified Holistic Health Counselor will be joining us to kick off a monthly series on Healthy Eating Challenges and ways to simplify menu-planning, grocery shopping, meal preparations and eating healthy when you have no time. (Feb. 26)

__________________

Cleaning Your Home - The Quick & Simple Way - FREE BOOK!

Ariane will be presenting super shortcuts to Quick and Easy Cleaning and Clutter Clearing. Learn how to simplify cleaning and get your family to help, too! She will be releasing her new book too!  As a member you'll get the book free! (March 5)

Ready to Enroll now? 
Click here

Have more questions?

Learn more about Taking Charge of Your Finances and the  Getting Unstuck Group

p.s. I'll be posting a few articles related to all the above topics over the next few weeks, so stay tuned!

p.p.s.

LIVE OUTSIDE THE US or PREFER TO LISTEN OVER THE WEB?

No problem! All of our conference calls are streamed over the web so all you have to do is click a button to listen live. You can also post questions LIVE during the call via our special web page. AND all calls are recorded and AUTOMATICALLY available for download within 5 minutes of the call.

• No need to tie up your phone line
• No long distance charges
• No software for you to download either

Ask Seth Godin a Question! About marketing, having ADHD, anything!

When the brilliant, Terry Matlen of www.addconsults.com  saw a post by Seth Godin on Bryan Hutchinson's blog at www.adderworld.com, she emailed him and asked if she could interview him AND HE SAID YES!!!.

Seth Godin is a marketing genius who has revolutionized the world of business and marketing through He's written 10 books, including his latest: Tribes, and The Dip . He's also the founder of www.Squidoo.com.

In a recent article in Business Week,  as I told you in December, Seth mentioned that he has ADHD.

If you've read any of Seth's books - you know he is not only a creative market genius, he practices what he preaches.  And he doesn't let having ADD stop him from succeeding! 

I'm so thrilled that he came out with having ADHD, as I know how difficult a decision that is.  I was terrified how it would affect my business, and it has!  But truly in a more positive way than I could ever have imagined. It's such a relief to not feel like I have to hide who I really am. 

The choice to "come out" is not right for everyone because many people still DO have preconceived notions about people with ADHD "being unreliable" or "flaky" but that is simply not true!  People who embrace their ADD and learn to manage it, as well as find the "gifts and treasures" often succeed in STELLAR ways. 

The more people who come out and speak openly about it, like Ty Pennington, Michael Phelps, Richard Branson, Howie Mandel and so many more, the more people will realize its not a "disability", it is a "challenge" we can learn to deal with and integrate into our lives.

When you cultivate the treasures and manage the difficulties that accompany ADHD, you can learn to "design a LIFE that fits"  AND "design a BUSINESS that fits" and allows you to flourish.  Having ADD is NOT a reason to give up on yourself!

Seth Godin,  Terry Matlen and other heroes of mine including Sari Solden,  Jennifer Koretsky, Denslow Brown, and Tara McGuillicuddy (to name only a few) are all wonderful examples of how you can design a business that fits you and achieve remarkable success!

Want to Ask Seth a Question?

Terry Matlen has graciously offered people to submit questions for her interview with him about what it's like to have ADD!  I can't wait to read how he designs his life and work to fit him!

All you have to do is email them to her at AskSeth@addconsults.com  Then, look for the interview in an upcoming newsletter.  You can read her archives and sign up for her great newsletters here!

Wishing you all the best!

p.s.

We had our first Getting Unstuck Coaching Call yesterday and it was AWESOME!  During the 2 hour call, we got deep into the decision-making process, how we "predictably" get stuck at each stage, and what we can do to "get unstuck" at each stage.  We also got deep into ways to help us let go of clutter painlessly. People are already writing to me with all the great ways they've already started getting unstuck!   We have 22 wonderful members now, and there is still room for lots more! 

ITS NOT TOO LATE TO JOIN as a CHARTER MEMBER! 

The call recording came out great and is now posted in the group. You can easily listen online, or download the recording.  Plus you get all my ebooks and lots more unreleased material included!

Getting Unstuck Coaching Group is here!

Over the last several weeks, Suzanne Babb and I have been working closely with my new publishing company to reinvent the Getting Unstuck Coaching and Support Group as an ONGOING group, not just a one-shot deal.

We are thrilled to announce that the group officially begins Jan. 15! 

An Affordable Alternative

For people interested in coaching, but aren't sure about investing a lot of money in it, (and who has money to spare these days?)  we have designed a truly unique program that enables you to experience coaching in a group setting. 

Group coaching provides you with a way to receive ongoing learning, feedback, support, and inspiration without having to spend a fortune. You not only get our support, you get the support of other people who are all working on getting unstuck, getting inspired, and getting organized.  

A Longer Term Alternative

This program is designed to be an ongoing support experience, kinda like Weight Watchers, but for Managing Your Life, not your weight.  So just when you've found your groove and are making serious progress on your goals, you won't be cut off.  

If you find you've really gotten a handle on things, you can leave the group.  If you "fall off the wagon" (and most of us do when life throws us curveballs) we will be here for you - and you won't have to get on a waiting list.  Just re-enroll in a couple easy steps.

 Special Offer

You get 3 months of coaching calls, ALL of Suzanne's e-books on Organizing, and Technology and Ariane's Organizing eBooks, discounts on future workshops, an exclusive online support forum, and much more.  Learn all the details here:  Getting Unstuck Coaching Group

Whatever you decide, I truly wish you a world of sustainable success in 2009!

Do you make To Do lists but then don't follow them?

The topic of "to do lists" came up in the Neat and Simple Living Cafe the other day.  This is an issue that many people agonize over, so I thought I'd write about it here, too. If you are like the hundreds of people who tell me they make lots of lists, but have difficulty following them or even finding them, you are not alone! 

Difficulty following lists is very common among people with a creative or right-brain dominant personality style as well as with ADDers. In addition, people with certain kinds of brain injuries or head injuries may find it easy to "make" lists, but have much trouble "following" lists. There are many psychological, neurological, learning style, sensory, and even genetic reasons why some people are not good at "following" written instructions of any kind, including their own lists! 

I'm going to spare you the theories, but promise me you'll stopping beating yourself up!  It's not that you are lazy or procrastinating...it's how you are wired.  So let's accept it and work with it.  Even though it's not easy for you...there are some tricks to making your lists easier to follow.  

Here's the thing about making lists. Writing itself is a very effective way to clarify what's on your mind, process information and enhance your ability to remember things. So there is a good reason to keep on making your lists! They help you:

• Remember things better (just like taking notes)
• Slow down your brain to the speed of writing so that you can think more clearly and get your ideas out.
• Articulate your ideas. 
• Reduce your fear that you will forget the items

Before we look at ways to make lists easier to follow...let's look as some of the things that make them more difficult to follow.  Lists may be harder to follow if:

• There are too many items on it
• Handwriting isn't clear or the lettering is not big enough
• You use light colored ink or pencil 
• The paper used is colored and does not provide a high contrast with the ink used 
• Action items aren't listed in order of priority and you have to scan the whole list to decide which things to do next.
• Item don't list all the information you need to act on it, e.g. for some people, if they don't write the phone number and have to hunt it down, they will skip write over that item on the list.  
• The spacing between the items is too close.  
• More than a day or 2 goes by before you look at it again (particularly if you have ADD, the list may lose all sense of urgency)
• You have any kind of reading or vision difficulties such as a mild dyslexia
• You are stressed when you look at the list 
• You have lots of other ideas going through your head when you look at 
• The items are so brief that you forget what was actually meant. For example, I have seen many examples of people writing things like "Call Doctor" and then forgetting which doctor and why.    

There are many more items I could add, but I think you get the idea.  Everyone is different in terms of what works best for them, but here are some tips that might help you make your lists easier to "follow".

• Limit the items to 4 - 6 short items on them
• Use very clear large lettering, I use a black Sharpie for lists I really need to follow
• Put lots of space between items.  This makes it easier for your brain to focus on one item at a time. 
• Put a little box or circle in front of each item so that you can check it off when you are done
• Put high priority items at the top, lower priority in the bottom half of the list. 
• Use color or other visual cues to help you highlight the highest priority items:  e.g., highlighters or my personal fave is to draw "clouds" or "bubbles" around the  most important things.
• Use brightly colored paper with high contrast to your ink.
• Use a TO DO notebook that is ONLY for Action Items.  Put a removeable tab or post-it on pages with open items in your notebook. 
• Don't mix things you would "like to do" with things that you really "will or must do". One trick I've used is to turn the notebook upside down and use the back of the book to capture "brainstorms" and "ideas" or use a separate notebook all together.   
• Some people need "novelty" to help stimulate their brain to pay attention to their lists, so using different color paper and highlighters may be effective.  So if you are the types that likes trying out new ways to make your lists, have fun with it, but be aware that if you try lots of complicated software to do lists you are probably wasting a ton of time learning and setting up new ways to do your lists.  Try to restrain your "novelty needs" to simple, easy changes. 

Alternatives to linear lists and paper may also help you follow lists better.  I use different methods for different kinds of lists. Some of the tools I use:

• Digital Recorder
• Calling in to my Voice mail 
• White boards (I have a couple small ones that I use like pads of paper, and one on the wall fo rwhen I need to move around to think/) 
• Mind Mapping 
• Flip Chart that I hang on a nail on my office door 
• Post-it Flip Charts that I hang on my wall.  
• Magnetic pads for my refrigerator  
• Chalkboard in the kitchen 

You may need to experiment with alternate ways to find the best way for you to make your lists, and you may need different kinds of lists for different things.  Some people need to stick to one kind of list, others need the diversity.  Give yourself permission to play and experiment till you find methods that not only attract you but are easy to read and follow later.  Another option is to just give yourself permission to make lists with the intention of helping you get things off your mind without the expectation that you have to follow them! If they helped you remember, and you did the action item without looking at your list. That's good enough.  

Have a quirky way to make lists work for you?  Leave a comment below!

Perfectionism & Me - Debbie Jordan Kravitz Interviews me for her book!

On October 9, 2008, Debbie Jordan Kravitz, interviewed me for her upcoming book on Perfectionism! She was so easy to talk to, and so compassionate that I really opened up to her and revealed things I've never talked about "publicly" before. We also laughed a lot and I have to thank her for asking such insight-provoking questions and helping me to understand my perfectionism even more deeply yet in such a FUN way!

Listen to or download the MP3 recording our conversation about Perfectionism and Overcoming Perfectionism here. (note this is about an 86 MB file)

You can listen live right now here! Though it make take a minute to get started.

As another step on my personal journey to recovering from perfectionism, I decided to share the recording with you - in spite of how imperfect I may sound. I hope it helps you in some way understand your own issues. Here are some of the topics we talked about:

• When did you first realize that perfectionism was part of your personality?
• How perfectionism became an issue for me in college and at work
• How becoming a Professional Organizer taught me about ADD
• How perfectionism, ADD and creativity are connected
• How I learned to overcome / manage my own chronic disorganization and clutter issues
• Consequences of perfectionism - what made you realize you needed to change and how do you keep it at bay?
• The biological bases of perfectionism
• How perfectionism is related to your self-concept, image, reputation, ability and desire for being known for quality
• How I learned to give up being perfect about email, writing and other things
• How self-monitoring works
• and much more....

Debbie Jordan Kravitz, can be found at  www.DandRcustomorganizers.com Debbie is my new BFF (BloggingFriendForever) and the brains behind the really cool blog, Virtually Organized. 

Here's the link to Download our discussion on Overcoming Perfectionism!

Is it ADD or Creative Personality Type?

Before I begin this post, I want to send a HUGE THANK YOU to a few great friends whose support and encouragement mean the world to me!  They also inspired me to write this post which I've been working on for WEEKS! 

1) To Terry Matlen, M.S.W., of www.ADDconsults.com for featuring me in an article called The Many Faces of ADHD - Ariane's Profile at www.ADDCentral.com! Terry is the author of the excellent Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD: Beyond Piles, Palms, & Post-its and puts out a great ADD newsletter called, ADDitional News.    She is a leader in the field of Adult AD/HD, a former member of the board of directors of the Attention Deficit Disorder Association, and a wonderful and compassionate friend.  She has been so supportive of me I can't even begin to thank her enough.

2) To Liz Strauss of www.successful-blog.com who wrote this post in support of my "coming out" about having ADD:  Do You Think You Have ADD? Should You Tell Anyone?  I was so touched by her caring, compassion, and complete support of not only me, and not only ADD, but for anyone who feels "different" from everyone around them.  Liz was one of first bloggers to ever give sincere recognition to my blog and made me feel that the effort I put into this blog might be worth it after all.  She writes about all kinds of cool stuff and stuns me with how much great stuff she is capable of writing so often and so well! Thank you Liz!

3) To Dwayne Melancon of "Genuine Curiousity" for his incredibly insightful and compassionate article "GOT ATTENTION?" referencing my experience with getting a diagnosis of ADD and wondering if I really do have ADD.  I was so surprised that even my friend Dwayne often wonders if his tendency to "get bored easily" and "flit from one interesting thing to another" is ADD or not.  And so do other people I would never have suspected in a million years!  Like my friend and organizing guru Monica Ricci.  She wonders about it, too! 

I think it's because many ADD traits are also those of people with "creative personality types" - like myself, Dwayne and Monica.  We aren't "artists", but we ARE creative types who love to write, explore, take risks, try new things, and get bored with anything that is too repetitive or that stays the same for too long. 

I frequently wonder how my ENTP creative personality type and ADD are connected - because when you compare the traits of both, it's striking how similar they are. The main differences seem to be in the degree, frequency, and impact these "traits" have on our lives. Both ADD and the Creative Types share many characteristics.  Below is a list of ADD traits that I've culled from my reading of many ADD books.

COMMON ADD TRAIT DESCRIPTIONS INCLUDE:

• High energy and restless / Hyperactivity
• Impulsivity
• Takes on too many projects
• Loses interest easily
• High impatience
• May fail to follow through, forget appointments
• Tendency to hyperfocus and not be able to easily break out of it
• Tendency to see everything at once, to think "globally" and see many possibilities at once, making it difficult to make certain kinds of decisions
• Higher than average tolerance for chaos and change
• Often exhibit high risk taking, high stimulation seeking
• Often hyperREACTIVE - High reaction to thoughts, noise, people talking, everything in their environment, sometimes hypersensitive
• Tend to criticize themselves
• Tend to always be scanning or hunting
• High intuitive thinking
• Inconsistency of attention, mood

Now compare that list with the list I made from the descriptions of MBTI "creative personality types" which have both an "iNtuitive" and a "Perceiving" preference.   I have never seen anyone group the "NP" preferences as an archetype or temperament the way Keirsey and Bates identified four temperaments in  "Please Understand Me", but in my work with hundreds of people who have been labeled as disorganized for most of their lives, or as ADD, I am seeing undeniable patterns that are helping me better understand the roots of painful chronic disorganization, and more importantly, how to help people best overcome disorganization forever - not just organize "for" them and then hope they can maintain it after I leave.   

The four "iNtuitive" + Perceiving personality types are: ENTP (5%), INTP(1%), ENSP (5%), and INSP(1%)

The percentages indicate what percent of the population has each personality type.  As you can see, these types are CLEARLY a minority.   Combined they are found in only about 12% of the population and 4-6% of women. (Source: "Please Understand Me" by Keirsey and Bates)   

Interestingly, ADD is thought to occur in 6 - 12% of the population.  It varies according to who you are reading.  But, regardless, it literally is so close that it BEGS for closer scrutiny. 

So now, take a look at the list of traits I summarized from Please Understand Me" by Keirsey and Bates with my notes in brackets about how this could impact organizing and/or look like ADD.

ENTP/ENFP TRAITS 

• Unusually Enthusiastic, [high energy and high enthusiasm is VERY characteristic of ADD)
• "Apt to express interest in everything" [this makes it very difficult to focus and make choices about how to use your time]
• Characteristically have an eye out for a better way [leads to constantly changing and not sticking to systems you create to organize yourself]
• Always on the lookout for new projects, new activities, new procedures [ a clear link to all those unfinished projects ADD is famous for]
• Always seem to be several jumps ahead  [Another hallmark of ADD brains that process informationally globally and often see patterns before others do. Many famous inventors and scientists who made significant discoveries are thought to have had ADD]

The list is stunning, for example, Alexander Graham Bell, Leonardo da Vinci, Sir Issac Newton, Louis Pasteur, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Galileo and many more.   

• Prefers to "improvise" rather than create a detailed plan  [Could look like impulsivity, being uprepared, etc.] 
• Tends to proceed into action without necessary preparation
• Can succeed in a variety of occupations as long as the job "does not involve humdrum routine"
• In a routine job "they become restless. If a project in which they are engaged is no longer challenging, they tend to lose interest and fail to follow through - often to the discomfort of colleagues"
• "Orderliness in the routines of daily living is not apt to inspire them." "Not likely to be interested in the routines of daily maintenance"
• "Life with ENTPs is likely to be a daring adventure: this could lead families into physical and economic danger"
• "Apt to react with delight at having an opportunity to improvise a solution to a crisis"
• "Likely to be inconsistent with their attention
• "May show undependable, fickle characteristics, and be easily discouraged"
• "Always berating themselves for being so conscious of self"
• "Can become bored rather quickly with situations and people, and resist repeating experiences"
• "Enjoy the process of creating "but not interested in follow-through"
• "Can have difficulty picking up on the ideas and projects initiated by others"
• "Extravagant generosity punctuated with periods of frugality"
• "Somewhat unpredictable"
• "Characteristic in their pursuit of novelty"
• "Outstanding intuitive powers"

INTP/INFP TRAITS

• "Can concentrate better than any other personality type" [Obviously similar to hyperfocusing]
• "Once caught up in a thought process, that thought process seems to have a will of its own for INTPS, and they perservere until the issue is comprehended"
• "Impatient with routine details" [Obviously impacts ability to "maintain" traditional organizing systems]
• "The INTP must be given an efficient support staff who can capture ideas as they emerge and before the INTP loses interest and turns to other ideas" [How I would LOVE this!  and How unrealistic this is.  The book is obviously old enough to remember when most managers had their own secretaries.  I had my own Exec Assistant once...it was AWESOME!!!]
• INTPS are often forgetful of appointments and the rituals of daily living unless they are reminded. [Need I say more?]

I think the links between creative personality types (not artistic creativity) and ADD are more than clear.  And the link between creativity and difficulty "MAINTAINING" organizing systems is also clear.  The key question for me is "how does my understanding of these specific personality traits help me help others become more organized by designing organizing solutions that they CAN MAINTAIN? 

That's what my FREE class on "The Link between Creativity and Disorganization" is about. 

Listen to the MP3 here

Cluttered house ignites, makes firefighting difficult

This article about a fire in Portland, Oregon really makes the point about how severe clutter is actually a life threatening safety hazard.    Here is a clip from the article

When fire crews arrived, they tried to get inside the home to see if anyone was there, but they had some trouble in their search because they found the house full of clutter.

"There were pathways through each of the rooms that was about waist-high - newspapers, t-shirts, magazines," said Lt. Allen Oswalt with the Portland Fire Bureau.  "And you just had these pathways to get through the rooms.  The doors that would open off the rooms were blocked with waist-high storage of things, so it made it really difficult.  Plus all that adds to the fire load - it's all paper and it burns really easily.  We didn't even get a primary search done for about 45 minutes, which is not the way we like to do it."

See photos and read the rest of the story here:

http://www.katu.com/news/17678414.html

If you are struggling with clutter, here are some help for hoarding resources.

Also, consider signing up for my 3 session Teleclass series:  GETTING UNSTUCK! Releasing the Emotional, Physical, and Belief Clutter Keeping You Stuck in a Pattern of Stress, Overwhelm and Frustration! 

HOARDERS ARE WELCOME

If you have ever wondered if you are a hoarder, or if you know you suffer from compulsive hoarding, you are welcome in this class.  One of the common traits of all hoarding behavior is that the idividual is very creative and can think of millions of reasons why any item is valuable.  If this describes you, we invite you to join us!  We will be focusing on addressing the underlying beliefs thoughts that cause people to experience anxiety in letting go of things. Learn More Here

GETTING UNSTUCK! Releasing the Emotional, Physical, and Belief Clutter Keeping You Stuck in a Pattern of Stress, Overwhelm and Frustration! 

 

FREE CLASS! How Creative Personality Type Contributes to Disorganization and What You Can Do About It!

Creativity has long been known to be associated with persistent Chronic Disorganization. Creative personality types are notorious for having a very difficult time maintaining traditional organizing methods like David Allen's GTD system which includes using a "tickler file", etc. (Just ask Gina Trapani of Lifehacker.com) It's not impossible, but it sure doesn't come easily and just doesn't work for many creative people or for people with ADD who naturally resist structure, schedules and routines like checking a tickler file every day. 

My first Teleclass - "The Link between Creativity and Disorganization"  delivered on March 27, 2008 explores why this is true and what you can do about it.  And I'm finally ready to share it with you and the rest of the world - FREE! 

What You Will Learn in This FREE Class

What chronic disorganization is and why you should care.
Why the creative personality type is so susceptible to painful chronic disorganization.
What kinds of underlying beliefs make us cling to "things"
Why creatives find it so difficult to successfully maintain conventional organizing systems.
The functions of the 3 major parts of the brain and how they work
Why your actions and behaviors ALWAYS have a positive intent NO MATTER HOW self-destructive they seem
Why automatic negative thinking, beliefs and habits are SO HARD TO CHANGE
Why some beliefs and habits are actually very EASY TO CHANGE
How to "make your brain your best friend" so that you can resolve inner conflicts more easily and get "activated" to do the things you really want to do - BUT DON'T.  Like let go of clutter
6 strategies that have really worked to help creatives triumph over disorganization.
8 creative personality characteristics and how they contribute to disorganization.
How you can translate these personality traits that make organizing difficult into criteria for creating your own ultra-simple successful organizing systems!

PLUS - You'll get a FREE 15 page Handout summarizing the class! 

I am so passionate about this topic now because in my research I was shocked to find so few resources to help creative people understand why organizing and letting go of clutter is SO PARTICULARLY difficult for us!   Sure lots of people talk about it, and give us tips that work for them, but how do we translate those tips to work in OUR lives.   For people who have had years of negative experiences with organizing, including being punished, fired, or even getting divorced over their difficulty organizing themselves, tips are not nearly enough to become more consistently organized.

That why I'm giving this work that I have spent over 40 hours preparing for FREE! My hope is to make it easier for all those people out there who are "NATURALLY ORGANIZED" and those who are "DISORGANIZED" to understand each other's perspective a little better and make working and living together a little easier.  Hopefully it will help "the majority" better understand how differently the 10 - 25% of the population that is labeled with the terms below actually experiences the world and daily life.

• "creative and prefers to keep options open"  (ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP)  If you read about these personality types in depth, you will find that the description of these personality types combined is EXTREMELY similar to that of ADD. 
• "highly sensitive"
• "ADD" 
• "Decisionally Challenged"
• "Chronically Disorganized"

People with these labels are in the minority and have a VERY difficult time living up to the expectations and values of the majority of people who: can make a plan and stick to it most of the time; really don't mind or even enjoy organizing; let go of things they no longer use with no emotional trauma; find comfort in routines: and can be on time most of the time without going through emotional agony.  For the rest of us, even reading that sentence can generate anxiety!  : )   

THANK YOU ELLEN!!!!

Even though I am a certified group facilitator and have presented at national conferences, I was very nervous at first because I didn't like the idea of not being able to see everyone.  But to my surprise I became comfortable almost immediately.  One of the major reasons I was at ease was that I wasn't alone! The call was hosted Ellen Shapiro, a very creative client who is now a treasured friend.  Ellen was so supportive and encouraging, she really demonstrated why she deserves the title of "Success and Prosperity Coach".   

Ellen has a fascinating array of skills she brings to her work.  She has a BA in Psychology, an MBA, AND is certified in a dozen other innovative methods for helping people achieve success.  As many creative people do, Ellen struggled with paper and keeping up with constantly changing stream of projects and ideas.  She was so happy with the home office and ultra simple systems we designed and organized for her that she invited me to present a session on Overcoming Disorganization to the Prosper Your Practice community she runs which features a monthly expert speaker.

p.s. (her office photos are in my Home Office Organizing Book but I won't tell you which ones)

Now that I've gotten past the hurdle of "the first time"  I'm on fire!  I LOVE the teleclass format because it allows so many people to have access to learning they otherwise would not have.  You don't have to travel AND you can listen to the recording again anytime you want!

WHY WE ARE DOING THIS

Preparing to deliver this class was a great motivator for me to finally pull together my thoughts and experiences on "The Link between Creativity and Disorganization"  and document the strategies that have been most successful in my work with hundred of creative clients to overcome disorganization - and not become "dependent" on me to help them stay organized. 

WHAT"S NEXT?  GETTING UNSTUCK!

The class went very well and people wanted more.  So, Ellen Shapiro and I have partnered to create a coaching program called, GETTING UNSTUCK! Releasing the Emotional, Physical, and Belief Clutter Keeping You Stuck in a Pattern of Stress, Overwhelm and Frustration!  It combines my expertise in working with highly creative people to release physical, emotional and belief clutter so that they can overcome chronic disorganization, with Ellen's expertise in using a technique called "repatterning" designed to help you identify and clear negative automatic thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. 

We have both had tremendous success with our approaches and now you can experience BOTH in one program thanks to the power of the teleclass!

STARTS APRIL 25!  So Don't Delay - Only 10 seats are available!

Listen to the FREE class, get the FREE handout
and learn more about our NEW PROGRAM here! 

Wishing you much success as always,

NOTE: We reserve the right to remove the audio and handout at any time so this link many not work forever.

Creativity and Chronic Disorganization - How are they linked? What can you do about it? My first free teleclass

UPDATE :  4/1/08

To my readers via email - I apologize that this did not go out via email until today.  My feedblitz is set to deliver emails once a week because I got feedback that many people did not want to get emails in their inbox every time I posted. 

If you missed the teleclass - please stay tuned as I will be announcing where to get the handout and recording free ASAP.   

THANK YOU!!!

______________________________________________________

Creativity and Chronic Disorganization are often linked.  Why is that?   What can you do about it?  Tomorrow nite I'll be talking about this topic and answering questions in my very first free teleclass!

Thursday,  March 27th, at 8:45PM EST

Register here

I will be the guest speaker in the "PROSPER YOUR PRACTICE"  series of teleclasses for sef-employed people hosted by Ellen Shapiro!  Ellen generously and expertly hosts free monthly "teleclasses with guest experts who share their tips about running a successful business."  Learn more about Ellen Shapiro here

However you don't have to be a business owner to benefit from this presentation.  It's for anyone who is creative and:

• believes their creativity is the cause of their disorganization
• believes that disorganization is a "side affect" of creativity that can't be helped or improved
• believes that to become organized would be too difficult, too rigid, too time consuming or too expensive.

We'll be discussing what chronic disorganization is, why it affects so many creative people, and we'll also discuss some simple strategies & principles to help creative professionals become more organized using systems that are super easy and don't take a lot of time to maintain.   We won't solve all your problems in one session, but you will get a much deeper answer to the question "Why am I like this?"

_________________________________________________________

Here's what you to do if you don't want to miss this!

Head on over to Ellen's site to register for the Prosper Your Practice group so that you'll be sure to get the emails with the teleclass info and the follow up link to listen to the recorded session later.

You have to register to the get the link to the recording

That's all you have to do! This is an easy, no-cost, no-obligation, no-spammy sales pitches way to discover learn more about how to become more organized, even if you've never been able to do it before! 

Hope to "see" you there!

Thinking about hiring a professional organizer?

If you are thinking about hiring a a professsional organizer, this excellent article by Erin Doland, Editor-in-Chief of Unclutterer.com is a MUST READ.  Like me, she is a recovering packrat.  She is also an excellent writer and has interviewed many of the top professional organizers, like my friends Monica Ricci, owner of Atlanta-based Catalyst Organizing Solutions  and Geralin Thomas, owner of Cary, North Carolina-based Metropolitan Organizing.    There is also a lot of GREAT advice in the comments from my friends and colleagues Ilene Drexler based in NYC and Jeri Dansky author of the MUST READ blog Jeri's Organizing & Decluttering News.   (I also much give many thanks to my fabulous virtual assistant Janet Barclay, for bringing this article to my attention)

As an organizing coach who specializes in ADD and chronic disorganization I simply had to chime in with my thoughts as well and of course, mention that if you have tried to get organized many times in the past, and your quality of life has been seriously impaired by clutter and disorganization, look for a professional organizer who also belongs to www.NSGCD.org (the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization) which provides specialized training to organizers on how to help people overcome chronic disorganization (CD).  CD is not a medical condition but it is something that you will probably always have a tendency toward so overcoming it requires highly creative and customized organizing strategies.

A few points I added to consider in hiring a professional organizer include looking for someone who:

1)  Partners with you and doesn't tell you there is only one "best" way to do things. To get long lasting results, choose an organizer who listens to your needs, gives you options to choose from, incorporates your preferences in the solution, and takes your personal organizing and learning style into consideration. There is never just one right way to organize something.

2)  Seeks to understand your most deeply ingrained habits and work "with" them as much as possible.  i.e., if you "live" in your kitchen, you probably won't suddenly start sorting your mail in that cute office upstairs. With some creativity, there are many ways to continue to use your kitchen counter to sort and still keep your kitchen neat and organized. 

3) Understands backsliding.  Most people get excited about a new organizing system, but then something happens that causes them to to slip back into old habits from time to time, especially when stressed. The important thing is to LEARN as much as you can from these events and "recover" as soon as possible. Don't hide them from your organizer or be ashamed to have them come back and see that you haven't been perfect. Your organizer should help you learn from the events and prepare you to deal with backsliding. 

My article on "What to expect when working with a professional organizer" has several more tips like this.

Thanks again Erin for bringing up this very important topic!

P.S.  After getting many requests from people who wanted a print version of my book, I spent my entire weekend making it happen!  Not only that, I daresay 99% of the typos have been cleaned up by an awesome, multitalented friend of ours who gave the book a very thorough proofreading!  Thank you Cathy!!! I would tell you how to reach her, but she doesn't want me to.  : )

You can now order the "Neat & Simple Guide to Organizing Your Home Office!"at the new
Neat & Simple Organizing Success Bookstore on lulu.com!   We are working on getting our other books available in print as well, so stay tuned!

Denslow Brown, Monica Ricci, and Judith Kolberg Rocked the NAPO D.C. Conference!!

This past weekend I was thrilled to attend the annual Mid-Atlantic Regional NAPO Conference The primary reason I went was to have the opportunity to meet and learn from three of the most amazing women in the organizing industry today.

Here are the highlights:

• Judith Kolberg (Left in the photo)
• Author of Conquering Chronic Disorganization and Founder of NSGCD.  She gave an awesome opening keynote on "The Super Powers of Disorganized People" which I felt truly honored the innovative and individual ways our brains work.  She pointed out how when you really listen to what's going on in the mind of a chronically disorganized person you can see how their situation is actually often coming from a unique and incredibly creative way of seeing the world.  I can't ever thank Judith enough for pioneering the study of chronic disorganization and a framework for helping people overcome the intensely painful experience of people who suffer from trying to use traditional one-size fits all organizing strategies that simply don't work for a lot of people.

• Denslow Brown (on the right in the photo) is one of the Founding Members of NAPO and NSGCD, a certified MASTER Coach, a certified ADD coach, and the brilliant Leader of The Coach Approach for Organizers with is co-taught by the awesome Cameron Gott who is also an ADD coach.  I'm currently in my 8th week of attending The Coach Approach for Organizers  training. It is one of the single best investments I've ever made.  It covers Coaching skills, ADD Organizing, and ADD Coaching. Her hybrid approach to working with people is so empowering.  It includes coaching, education, consulting AND truly advocating for your clients whose self-confidence and esteem is almost always shattered by the years of negativity surrounding their difficulties with organizing and managing time. Facilitating and empowering are at the core of my coaching services and Denslow's 34 years of experience in the field has so enriched my skillset, I'm sure I could never thank her or honor her enough.
  
  Her first presentation at conference was "Deepening Client Commitment and Connection". It provided an excellent framework for avoiding the "driveby organizing syndrome" in which "you organize them and then go away and pray they can maintain it".  Her approach advocates facilitating true long lasting change by encouraging clients to take ownership and pride in their accomplishments, learn from setbacks, and empowering them to design organizing strategies that work for their unique needs.
  
  She presented a second session titled "Positive Inquiry = Business Success" which was an completely innovative approach to finding your niche in the organizing industry.  I can't wait to take even more training with Denslow and I hope she publishes soon!  : )   Learn more about Denslow here.
• Monica Ricci (in the lower center of the photo) is not only an award winning blogger, she is an outstanding author, TV and Radio host, spokesperson,  speaker, motivator and of course, organizer extraordinaire!  See Monica's Post  NAPO D.C. Hosts Mid-Atlantic Regional Conference.  Seeing her show on TV was so helpful and inspirational to me in my career and I was so thrilled to get to see her do her thing LIVE.  Her energy is unbelievable!  Her keynote speech "Fearful to Fabulous: Embracing Boldness" was phenomenal. She had everyone in tears. I'm so inspired by her - I wish I had it recorded!  She talked about all the ways we learn to be fearful and how we can overcome them.  As with any change, your desire for what you want must be stronger than the pain and discomfort of taking action in spite of your fear.  You have to trust that you will live through the pain and ultimately get what you want!  It's soooo worth it!  Thank you so much Monica for sharing your wisdom and experience so generously!

Much appreciation goes out to NAPO D.C. Metro Chapter for organizing this inspiring and educational event and choosing the such awesome speakers!  It was extremely well organized and worth every penny! 

Making Your Natural Adrenaline Moments Work For You!

This morning I was coaching a client with ADD and she had the neatest breakthrough that I thought you might like.  In my ADD coaching training I learned about a phenomenon called  "Completion Chemistry."

Essentially it means that many people, especially those of us with ADD, are more motivated to work on a task when we need to FIND something.  For example, we may hate to file or put things away while we are in midst of doing other far more interested things.  But when we really need to find something, we get a burst of adrenaline for the "hunt".   

My client was teeling me about her successes of the week and mentioned how she had needed to find something in the box of papers she had gathered up while organizing last week.  The box had been sitting there for days and she had had no motivation to work on it.  Suddenly when she needed something in that box, she got a burst of "energy" and become motivated to finally sort out some of the papers in that box.

What a perfect example of "Completion Chemistry"!  I let her what a great strategy that was and explained how she could use it more often and she LOVED it!!!  She felt so validated that she already had an effective strategy and now she could consciously work with it and harness it more often - without feeling guilty about the time she let pass before she got around to organizing the box. 

She even came up with her own name for the strategy  - "Riding the Wave" 

We talked about other ways she could apply this and came up with the idea of using the energy of a deadline to help her "activate" for other tasks by leaving extra time before the deadline and she is goign to try this...instead of seeing the task of having to take her daughter to  a 4:30 appt every day as an interruption, she is going to start getting ready to go an hour before use that hour to "scan" the first floor and do any little tasks that need doing, like sort the mail, return a couple calls, put things away etc. 

I'm leaving at 5:00 tonite to go to the regional NAPO conference in Washington DC so I'm going to ride my adrenaline wave to get packed and ready to go and then answer as many emails as I can, return  calls, and tie up other "loose ends" as FAST as possible!   

How do you "ride the wave of completion chemistry" in your daily life?  What new situations can you apply this concept to?

Understanding Chronic Disorganization: Are You Chronically Disorganized?

We all experience situations in life when we become disorganized. During an illness, or while working on a project at work that requires a lot of travel, or during a life change like moving, getting married, having kids, or starting a new job. Professional Organizers call that being "Situationally Disorganized." This means disorganization is a very understandable and normal side affect of a life situation.

What makes chronic disorganization different is that when these life events happen to you, order is not quickly and fairly easily restored. Instead, the disorganization does not improve and may even continue to worsen over time. At a certain point, daily life becomes overwhelmingly stressful and help is needed to recover.

If your quality of life is suffering, you feel stressed and overwhelmed much of the time, and you don’t feel like you can fix it yourself, you may be "chronically" disorganized.

To learn more, check out the new in-depth article I have posted on my website called:

Understanding Chronic Disorganization: Are you Chronically Disorganized?

It covers:

• What is Chronic Disorganization?
• Causes of Chronic Disorganization
• Are You Chronically Disorganized?
• Getting Help

Let me know if you have any comments or questions about the article by posting a comment here!  I love hearing from you!  I can't always respond to comments immediately because I do work in clients home 3-5 days a week, but I will get back to you! 

Thanks!

Prospering and Learning in 2008! Don't miss my Free Teleclass On "Organizing for the Creative Professional & the Chronically Disorganized"

I am so honored to have been invited to be a guest speaker in the "PROSPER YOUR PRACTICE" community hosted by Ellen Shapiro and offered FREE!  Ellen generously and expertly hosts free monthly "teleclasses with special guest experts to share their information and wisdom about different aspects of running a successful business."  Learn more about Ellen Shapiro here

In addition, she offers monthly "repatterning" sessions designed to help you incorporate the  learnings you "resonate with" from the guest speaker sessions into your belief system and empower you to put them into action! 

(p.s. I did a couple repatterning sessions with her and found them very helpful in refocusing me to take action on my healthy eating goals, which I'll be sharing with you soon along with big announcement : )

I'll be speaking on the topic:

"Organizing for the Creative & the Chronically Disorganized"

We'll be discussing what chronic disorganization is, why it affects so many creative people, and we'll also discuss some simple strategies & principles to help creative professionals become more organized using systems that are super easy and don't take a lot of time to maintain. 

Knowing me, I'll probably have some kind of neat freebie to offer people who attend...I've got tons of ideas floating around, but I think I'll just surprise you!

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Here's what you to do if you don't want to miss this!

1. If you want the chance to ask me questions live, Mark March 27th, at 8:45PM EST in your calendar. If you can't make it for the live session, you can listen to the recorded session later, but you have to register to the get the link to the recording!

2. Head on over to Ellen's site to register for the Prosper Your Practice group so that you'll be sure to get the emails with the teleclass info and the follow up link.

That's all you have to do! This is an easy, no-cost, no-obligation, no-spammy sales pitches way to discover what Repatterning is about, AND to visit with me live, and learn more about how to be more organized, even if you've never been able to do it before!

Hope to "see" you there!

Compulsive Hoarding: Special FREE NSGCD TeleClass Open to ALL Professionals Working with Hoarders!

Over the last couple years, I have been so deeply touched by people living with hoarding or severe clutter and disorganization, and also very frustrated with the lack of resources to help them.  There are very few resources to learn to help them as well.  I have become deeply committed to helping address this gap in understanding and resources to serve people suffering with chronic disorganization, severe cluttering, and / or compulsive hoarding and acquiring.

JUST RELEASED! "Neat & Simple Guide to Organizing Your Office"

JUST RELEASED! I'm so excited to announce that my new book
"Neat & Simple Guide to Organizing Your Office" is finally here! Just in time to help you get a Neat Start to the New Year. Two years in the making, it has over 150 pages chock full of my best organizing advice and lots of photos to go with it.

 

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The Neat & Simple Guide to Organizing Your Home Office By Ariane Benefit, M.S. Ed The San Diego Times calls this book the "Bible of Home Office Organization" See their front-page feature story!

Help! I'm a hoarder - Verdict: Helpful - but could have been much more helpful.

Thanks to Dr. Amie Ragan's latest post, I learned that there is a new TV show coming up on Wednesday, September 19th, at 7:00 p.m. CST. called Help! I'm a Hoarder.

I watched the show and was glad to see it was educational vs exploitative and did help to enlighten the general public about the causes and treatment options available. I hope it will foster great compassion and better treatment of hoarders in the legal system.

I think they missed out on a great opportunity, however, to make hoarders and their families as well as professionals who work with hoarders aware of the recent and few self-help books on the subject such as:

Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding

Overcoming Complusive Hoarding

They could also have easily promoted organizations like www.NSGCD.org and websites such as:

• OCD Foundation's Hoarding Website
• Children of Hoarders group
• Squalor Survivors 
• www.messies.com
• Hoarding Fact Sheet - Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health
• New York City Hoarding Website 
• Shopaholics Anonymous
• Stopping Overshopping

See more resources for hoarders

HYPNOTHERAPY
I do feel hypnotherapy is a promising approach to dealing with the underlying subconscious & emotional elements of the condition.  But I was concerned that they made it seem somewhat like a "magic cure". Some hoarding behavior has a genetic component and therefore may not be treatable with hypnotherapy. 

REPATTERNING
Holographic or Resonance Repatterning is an unfortunately complicated sounding name for an alternative treatment modality that actually may have great promise in helping clutterers and hoarders who are resistant to change due to underlying or subconscious belief systems.  I recently attended a group session that remarkably helped a group of addicts overcome some very self-limiting beliefs.  Because I believe many types of hoarding are actually addictive behaviors (in that they are attempts to self-soothe, manage stress, affect mood, and avoid "withdrawal" pain), I'm meeting with Ellen Shapiro a Certified Repatterning Practioner here in Montclair, NJ to discuss creating a resource / service / workshop for clutterers that integrates learning organizing skills with exploration of beliefs & using repatterning techniques to help people release their clutter more easily.   If you are interested in learning more, repatterning sessions can also be done by phone.

VALUE
The greatest value of the show in my opinion is that it will hopefully help reduce the shame hoarders feel so that they are more willing to seek help for their problem. 

FINDING THE RIGHT PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER / PROFESSIONAL TO WORK WITH HOARDERS
Working with hoarders is such a specialty in the organizing industry that I almost think the professional organizers who do that ought to have a different title.  Not sure what it would be, but really the skill set difference is ENORMOUS.   I was concerned that the show did not mention the NSGCD Referral Site for around 1000 organizing professionals specializing in chronic disorganization. NSGCD members are a subset of the over 6000 professional organizers out there. Among the NSGCD members there are even fewer that specialize in extreme Levels 3-5 hoarding.  Personally, I don't feel that I'm yet qualified to work with that group. I work with Levels 1 and 2 on the Clutter Hoarding Scale.

I have started a Compulsive Hoarding Service Provider & Professional Organizer Referral Directory on this blog for practioners who specialize in helping level 3 - 5 extreme hoarders.  If you are a professional who works with hoarders or have worked with a professional(s) who helped you, please submit their names and contact info here.

Thanks!

Help! I'm a hoarder. New TV show

Thanks to Dr. Amie Ragan's latest post, I learned that there is a new TV show coming up on Wednesday, September 19th, at 7:00 p.m. CST. called Help! I'm a Hoarder.  I'm programming it into my DVR  and TIVO.  I also hope they treat the show's participants with dignity and really getting into the complexities of the problem and discuss the latest treatments.

Related Posts on this Blog

Help for Hoarders, Clutterers & Compulsive Shoppers

Overcoming Hoarding Tendencies with Dr. Randy Frost & Sandra Felton

Supporting Someone Who Lives in Squalor - Squalor Survivors & Children & Family of Hoarders

Surviving & Overcoming Living in Squalor

True Story: One Family's Experience With the Devasting Effects of Prolonged Clutter

How Compulsive Hoarding Affects Families

Got a bit of Gadget Mania? Having Trouble Resisting the Urge to Splurge? Sometimes all it takes is the right question!

I confess.  I am a natural born enthusiast.  And, I am especially drawn to creative ideas! So when I saw this clever little gadget at the Container Store, I got all excited.  How clever!!  It holds your cooking utensils so you don't have to lay them down on your stovetop or get your spoon holder dirty!  So I showed it to my husband.  "What do you think?  do you want one?" 

He looks at me and gives me some of my own medicine with his trademark smirk...."Do we REALLY need that?"

I stopped dead in my tracks.  Looked at him and started laughing.  Just that question started me thinking about what a pain it would be to use and how quickly it would become clutter! 

• Where would I put it when it's not on the pot so that it would be handy? (I don't have drawers near my stove.) 
• Suppose I put it in the other not so handy kitchen drawer, will I really get it out of the drawer to use it every time I cook? 
• Then clean it and put it back? 
• Nah

All of a sudden, my good old fashion spoonrest that sits on my stovetop 24/7 starting looking beautiful again.  Besides, it's shaped like a cat!!!  And I do love my cats!  : )

Goes to show you - NO ONE is immune from the appeal of a clever kitchen gadget.  But one little question - the right one - can give you much needed power over your impulses! 

Do I REALLY need that???   Will I REALLY use that?  Where will I PUT that??

Thank you Alan!  Come to think of it...my own medicine didn't taste that bad.  And I still have $10 in my pocket!

This is one of a few close calls I've had this holiday season.  The bag of impulse purchases I have to return to Linens N Things is proof I'm not always that strong.   I love that store!!  And something about this time of year made me buy 10 oh-so-clever stocking stuffers for my husband (read: me) that he wouldn't really want - and I don't really need.  Too bad Alan wasn't with me then! 

The nice thing about shopping in certain stores regularly, is that I WILL actually return those impulse buys!  The bag is already sitting next to my front door waiting to go back.

So how are you holding up with the ever tempting "urge to splurge" this holiday season?  : )

p.s.  I do the same thing for him in his weaker moments!  : ) It's all about teamwork.