NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Ariane Benefit, Organizing Coach

Is it ADD or Personality Type? My findings - Part 1

Before I begin this paost, I want to send a HUGE THANK YOU to a few great friends whose support and encouragement mean the world to me!  They also inspired me to write this post which I've been working on for WEEKS! 

1) To Terry Matlen, M.S.W., of www.ADDconsults.com for featuring me in an article called The Many Faces of ADHD - Ariane's Profile at www.ADDCentral.com! Terry is the author of the excellent Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD: Beyond Piles, Palms, & Post-its and puts out a great ADD newsletter called, ADDitional News.    She is a leader in the field of Adult AD/HD, a former member of the board of directors of the Attention Deficit Disorder Association, and a wonderful and compassionate friend.  She has been so supportive of me I can't even begin to thank her enough.

2) To Liz Strauss of www.successful-blog.com who wrote this post in support of my "coming out" about having ADD:  Do You Think You Have ADD? Should You Tell Anyone?  I was so touched by her caring, compassion, and complete support of not only me, and not only ADD, but for anyone who feels "different" from everyone around them.  Liz was one of first bloggers to ever give sincere recognition to my blog and made me feel that the effort I put into this blog might be worth it after all.  She writes about all kinds of cool stuff and stuns me with how much great stuff she is capable of writing so often and so well! Thank you Liz!

3) To Dwayne Melancon of "Genuine Curiousity" for his incredibly insightful and compassionate article "GOT ATTENTION?" referencing my experience with getting a diagnosis of ADD and wondering if I really do have ADD.  I was so surprised that even my friend Dwayne often wonders if his tendency to "get bored easily" and "flit from one interesting thing to another" is ADD or not.  And so do other people I would never have suspected in a million years!  Like my friend and organizing guru Monica Ricci.  She wonders about it, too! 

I think it's because many ADD traits are also those of people with "creative personality types" - like myself, Dwayne and Monica.  We aren't "artists", but we ARE creative types who love to write, explore, take risks, try new things, and get bored with anything that is too repetitive or that stays the same for too long. 

I frequently wonder how my ENTP creative personality type and ADD are connected - because when you compare the traits of both, it's striking how similar they are. The main differences seem to be in the degree, frequency, and impact these "traits" have on our lives. Both ADD and the Creative Types share many characteristics.  Below is a list of ADD traits that I've culled from my reading of many ADD books.

COMMON ADD TRAIT DESCRIPTIONS INCLUDE:

• High energy and restless / Hyperactivity
• Impulsivity
• Takes on too many projects
• Loses interest easily
• High impatience
• May fail to follow through, forget appointments
• Tendency to hyperfocus and not be able to easily break out of it
• Tendency to see everything at once, to think "globally" and see many possibilities at once, making it difficult to make certain kinds of decisions
• Higher than average tolerance for chaos and change
• Often exhibit high risk taking, high stimulation seeking
• Often hyperREACTIVE - High reaction to thoughts, noise, people talking, everything in their environment, sometimes hypersensitive
• Tend to criticize themselves
• Tend to always be scanning or hunting
• High intuitive thinking
• Inconsistency of attention, mood

Now compare that list with the list I made from the descriptions of MBTI "creative personality types" which have both an "iNtuitive" and a "Perceiving" preference.   I have never seen anyone group the "NP" preferences as an archetype or temperament the way Keirsey and Bates identified four temperaments in  "Please Understand Me", but in my work with hundreds of people who have been labeled as disorganized for most of their lives, or as ADD, I am seeing undeniable patterns that are helping me better understand the roots of painful chronic disorganization, and more importantly, how to help people best overcome disorganization forever - not just organize "for" them and then hope they can maintain it after I leave.   

The four "iNtuitive" + Perceiving personality types are: ENTP (5%), INTP(1%), ENSP (5%), and INSP(1%)

The percentages indicate what percent of the population has each personality type.  As you can see, these types are CLEARLY a minority.   Combined they are found in only about 12% of the population and 4-6% of women. (Source: "Please Understand Me" by Keirsey and Bates)   

Interestingly, ADD is thought to occur in 6 - 12% of the population.  It varies according to who you are reading.  But, regardless, it literally is so close that it BEGS for closer scrutiny. 

So now, take a look at the list of traits I summarized from Please Understand Me" by Keirsey and Bates with my notes in brackets about how this could impact organizing and/or look like ADD.

ENTP/ENFP TRAITS 

• Unusually Enthusiastic, [high energy and high enthusiasm is VERY characteristic of ADD)
• "Apt to express interest in everything" [this makes it very difficult to focus and make choices about how to use your time]
• Characteristically have an eye out for a better way [leads to constantly changing and not sticking to systems you create to organize yourself]
• Always on the lookout for new projects, new activities, new procedures [ a clear link to all those unfinished projects ADD is famous for]
• Always seem to be several jumps ahead  [Another hallmark of ADD brains that process informationally globally and often see patterns before others do. Many famous inventors and scientists who made significant discoveries are thought to have had ADD]

The list is stunning, for example, Alexander Graham Bell, Leonardo da Vinci, Sir Issac Newton, Louis Pasteur, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Galileo and many more.   

• Prefers to "improvise" rather than create a detailed plan  [Could look like impulsivity, being uprepared, etc.] 
• Tends to proceed into action without necessary preparation
• Can succeed in a variety of occupations as long as the job "does not involve humdrum routine"
• In a routine job "they become restless. If a project in which they are engaged is no longer challenging, they tend to lose interest and fail to follow through - often to the discomfort of colleagues"
• "Orderliness in the routines of daily living is not apt to inspire them." "Not likely to be interested in the routines of daily maintenance"
• "Life with ENTPs is likely to be a daring adventure: this could lead families into physical and economic danger"
• "Apt to react with delight at having an opportunity to improvise a solution to a crisis"
• "Likely to be inconsistent with their attention
• "May show undependable, fickle characteristics, and be easily discouraged"
• "Always berating themselves for being so conscious of self"
• "Can become bored rather quickly with situations and people, and resist repeating experiences"
• "Enjoy the process of creating "but not interested in follow-through"
• "Can have difficulty picking up on the ideas and projects initiated by others"
• "Extravagant generosity punctuated with periods of frugality"
• "Somewhat unpredictable"
• "Characteristic in their pursuit of novelty"
• "Outstanding intuitive powers"

INTP/INFP TRAITS

• "Can concentrate better than any other personality type" [Obviously similar to hyperfocusing]
• "Once caught up in a thought process, that thought process seems to have a will of its own for INTPS, and they perservere until the issue is comprehended"
• "Impatient with routine details" [Obviously impacts ability to "maintain" traditional organizing systems]
• "The INTP must be given an efficient support staff who can capture ideas as they emerge and before the INTP loses interest and turns to other ideas" [How I would LOVE this!  and How unrealistic this is.  The book is obviously old enough to remember when most managers had their own secretaries.  I had my own Exec Assistant once...it was AWESOME!!!]
• INTPS are often forgetful of appointments and the rituals of daily living unless they are reminded. [Need I say more?]

I think the links between creative personality types (not artistic creativity) and ADD are more than clear.  And the link between creativity and difficulty "MAINTAINING" organizing systems is also clear.  The key question for me is "how does my understanding of these specific personality traits help me help others become more organized by designing organizing solutions that they CAN MAINTAIN? 

That's what my FREE class on "The Link between Creativity and Disorganization" is about. 

Listen to the MP3 here

Living with Undiagnosed ADD

Bryan Hutchinson, author of "One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir - Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD" sent me his book to read a while ago and I finally got a chance to read it. Wow.  It was not easy for me to read this because any story of child abuse is painful for me to hear, but I'm glad I did.

His book gives a very heartfelt account of what it was like growing up with quite severe undiagnosed ADD that resulted in his being the victim of some very violent attacks by own father and other people as well. 

What It's Like to Have ADD

It's not easy to help people understand who don't have ADD understand what it is really like, but stories like Bryan's really help.  Whenever I hear someone talk about how frustrating it is to work with or live with someone who has ADD, I wish I could tell them how painful and frustrating it can be to actually have it! Those of us with ADD often feel so much worse about ourselves than you can imagine. We don't want to disappoint people, but it happens, in fact we really tend to dissappoint ourselves most of all.

Can you imagine what it would be like to get up one day and being able to walk just like everyone else, but then the next day you wake up and you can't.  People might think you are lying or doing it on purpose because they saw you walking yesterday and then saw you walking again the next day.  THAT IS WHAT IT IS LIKE to have ADD.  It's like you can't control when your brain is going to work with or against you.  It feels like sometimes your brain freezes or gets paralyzed and you can't control it.

It's like when you have too many windows open on your computer and it suddenly just CRASHES without warning.    If you can relate to having any kind of inconsistent problem, like back pain, or shoulder pain, or even having your computer crash on you, then you can better understand what it is like to have ADD. The agony of being able to function well sometimes, but not others truly destroys your sense of self-worth and self-confidence. 

Bryan's story is an incredibly touching and poignant account of what it's like to have ADD. What many people don't realize is how painful it is to the individual who WANTS so desperately to be able to be consistent and to meet the expectations of others AND of themselves but literally CAN'T. 

In his book, Bryan shares the struggles he experienced as a child and even now as an adult living life with undiagnosed ADD. His story is one that I and many others with ADD can relate to even if our symptoms weren't as severe and we weren't beaten up physically for them.  Once he was finally diagnosed and got treatment for ADD, his life dramatically changed and improved.  He became more able to accept who we was and design a life that worked for who he was instead of twisting himself into knots to fit into what he thought he "should" be. 

Importance of Treating ADD/ADHD 

Bryan’s story highlights the importance of understanding and treating ADD/ADHD as early in life as possible.  If you are feeling like you are the only one, hearing others stories is a great way to realize that you aren't and begin the process of accepting who you are and working with what you have.  It also helps you become more compassionate with yourself. 

Interview with Bryan

Tara McGillicuddy of ADDClasses.com recently interviewed Bryan on her Blog Talk radio show call Living with Adult ADD / ADHD.  They share their stories of how they found out they ADD, how their spouses deal with it, and much more.  Listen Here

Bryan's Book  "One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir - Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD"

RELATED RESOURCES

• ADD & ADHD Resource List
• Posts I've written about ADD / ADHD
• I sometimes wonder if I have ADD...
• How I Survived My Life with Undiagnosed Adult ADD and Learned to THRIVE!
• Terry Matlen's recent article about me and my ADD Story on HealthCentral.com
• My Neat & Simple ADD / ADHD Store on Amazon

FREE AUDIO CLASS! Learn how Having a Creative Personality Type Can Actually CAUSE Disorganization PLUS 8 Ways You Can Turn Overwhelm into SUCCESS!

Creativity has long been known to be associated with persistent Chronic Disorganization. Creative personality types are notorious for having a very difficult time maintaining traditional organizing methods like David Allen's GTD system which includes using a "tickler file", etc. (Just ask Gina Trapani of Lifehacker.com) It's not impossible, but it sure doesn't come easily and just doesn't work for many creative people or for people with ADD who naturally resist structure, schedules and routines like checking a tickler file every day. 

My first Teleclass - "The Link between Creativity and Disorganization"  delivered on March 27, 2008 explores why this is true and what you can do about it.  And I'm finally ready to share it with you and the rest of the world - FREE! 

What You Will Learn in This FREE Class

What chronic disorganization is and why you should care.
Why the creative personality type is so susceptible to painful chronic disorganization.
What kinds of underlying beliefs make us cling to "things"
Why creatives find it so difficult to successfully maintain conventional organizing systems.
The functions of the 3 major parts of the brain and how they work
Why your actions and behaviors ALWAYS have a positive intent NO MATTER HOW self-destructive they seem
Why automatic negative thinking, beliefs and habits are SO HARD TO CHANGE
Why some beliefs and habits are actually very EASY TO CHANGE
How to "make your brain your best friend" so that you can resolve inner conflicts more easily and get "activated" to do the things you really want to do - BUT DON'T.  Like let go of clutter
6 strategies that have really worked to help creatives triumph over disorganization.
8 creative personality characteristics and how they contribute to disorganization.
How you can translate these personality traits that make organizing difficult into criteria for creating your own ultra-simple successful organizing systems!

PLUS - You'll get a FREE 15 page Handout summarizing the class! 

I am so passionate about this topic now because in my research I was shocked to find so few resources to help creative people understand why organizing and letting go of clutter is SO PARTICULARLY difficult for us!   Sure lots of people talk about it, and give us tips that work for them, but how do we translate those tips to work in OUR lives.   For people who have had years of negative experiences with organizing, including being punished, fired, or even getting divorced over their difficulty organizing themselves, tips are not nearly enough to become more consistently organized.

That why I'm giving this work that I have spent over 40 hours preparing for FREE! My hope is to make it easier for all those people out there who are "NATURALLY ORGANIZED" and those who are "DISORGANIZED" to understand each other's perspective a little better and make working and living together a little easier.  Hopefully it will help "the majority" better understand how differently the 10 - 25% of the population that is labeled with the terms below actually experiences the world and daily life.

• "creative and prefers to keep options open"  (ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP)  If you read about these personality types in depth, you will find that the description of these personality types combined is EXTREMELY similar to that of ADD. 
• "highly sensitive"
• "ADD" 
• "Decisionally Challenged"
• "Chronically Disorganized"

People with these labels are in the minority and have a VERY difficult time living up to the expectations and values of the majority of people who: can make a plan and stick to it most of the time; really don't mind or even enjoy organizing; let go of things they no longer use with no emotional trauma; find comfort in routines: and can be on time most of the time without going through emotional agony.  For the rest of us, even reading that sentence can generate anxiety!  : )   

THANK YOU ELLEN!!!!

Even though I am a certified group facilitator and have presented at national conferences, I was very nervous at first because I didn't like the idea of not being able to see everyone.  But to my surprise I became comfortable almost immediately.  One of the major reasons I was at ease was that I wasn't alone! The call was hosted Ellen Shapiro, a very creative client who is now a treasured friend.  Ellen was so supportive and encouraging, she really demonstrated why she deserves the title of "Success and Prosperity Coach".   

Ellen has a fascinating array of skills she brings to her work.  She has a BA in Psychology, an MBA, AND is certified in a dozen other innovative methods for helping people achieve success.  As many creative people do, Ellen struggled with paper and keeping up with constantly changing stream of projects and ideas.  She was so happy with the home office and ultra simple systems we designed and organized for her that she invited me to present a session on Overcoming Disorganization to the Prosper Your Practice community she runs which features a monthly expert speaker.

p.s. (her office photos are in my Home Office Organizing Book but I won't tell you which ones)

Now that I've gotten past the hurdle of "the first time"  I'm on fire!  I LOVE the teleclass format because it allows so many people to have access to learning they otherwise would not have.  You don't have to travel AND you can listen to the recording again anytime you want!

WHY WE ARE DOING THIS

Preparing to deliver this class was a great motivator for me to finally pull together my thoughts and experiences on "The Link between Creativity and Disorganization"  and document the strategies that have been most successful in my work with hundred of creative clients to overcome disorganization - and not become "dependent" on me to help them stay organized. 

WHAT"S NEXT?  GETTING UNSTUCK!

The class went very well and people wanted more.  So, Ellen Shapiro and I have partnered to create PART 2 of "The Creative Person's Guide to Overcoming Chronic Disorganization" 

We are calling this program, GETTING UNSTUCK! Releasing the Emotional, Physical, and Belief Clutter Keeping You Stuck in a Pattern of Stress, Overwhelm and Frustration!  It combines my expertise in working with people to release physical, emotional and belief clutter so that they can overcome chronic disorganization, with Ellen's expertise in using a technique called "repatterning" designed to help you identify and clear negative automatic thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back. 

We have both had tremendous success with our approaches and now you can experience BOTH in one program thanks to the power of the teleclass!

STARTS APRIL 25!  So Don't Delay - Only 10 seats are available!

Listen to the FREE class, get the FREE handout
and learn more about our NEW PROGRAM here! 

http://www.neatandsimple.com/creativity.html

Wishing you much success as always,

NOTE: We reserve the right to remove the audio and handout at any time so this link many not work forever.

Creativity and Chronic Disorganization - How are they linked? What can you do about it? My first free teleclass

UPDATE :  4/1/08

To my readers via email - I apologize that this did not go out via email until today.  My feedblitz is set to deliver emails once a week because I got feedback that many people did not want to get emails in their inbox every time I posted. 

If you missed the teleclass - please stay tuned as I will be announcing where to get the handout and recording free ASAP.   

THANK YOU!!!

______________________________________________________

Creativity and Chronic Disorganization are often linked.  Why is that?   What can you do about it?  Tomorrow nite I'll be talking about this topic and answering questions in my very first free teleclass!

Thursday,  March 27th, at 8:45PM EST

Register here

I will be the guest speaker in the "PROSPER YOUR PRACTICE"  series of teleclasses for sef-employed people hosted by Ellen Shapiro!  Ellen generously and expertly hosts free monthly "teleclasses with guest experts who share their tips about running a successful business."  Learn more about Ellen Shapiro here

However you don't have to be a business owner to benefit from this presentation.  It's for anyone who is creative and:

• believes their creativity is the cause of their disorganization
• believes that disorganization is a "side affect" of creativity that can't be helped or improved
• believes that to become organized would be too difficult, too rigid, too time consuming or too expensive.

We'll be discussing what chronic disorganization is, why it affects so many creative people, and we'll also discuss some simple strategies & principles to help creative professionals become more organized using systems that are super easy and don't take a lot of time to maintain.   We won't solve all your problems in one session, but you will get a much deeper answer to the question "Why am I like this?"

_________________________________________________________

Here's what you to do if you don't want to miss this!

Head on over to Ellen's site to register for the Prosper Your Practice group so that you'll be sure to get the emails with the teleclass info and the follow up link to listen to the recorded session later.

You have to register to the get the link to the recording

That's all you have to do! This is an easy, no-cost, no-obligation, no-spammy sales pitches way to discover learn more about how to become more organized, even if you've never been able to do it before! 

Hope to "see" you there!

HELP! I HATE FILING!

My friend Dr. Amie Ragan, author of the brilliant "Psychology of Clutter" blog, recently invited me to answer one of her reader's questions about how to get over your hatred of filing and even make it more fun. "Fun" is a lot to ask when comes to filing!  But believe it or not...it's possible!  With a few adjustments you can learn to appreciate and even LOVE your files! 

Check out my Guest Post where I answer Mack's question about how to make filing less of a pain on the Psychology Of Clutter blog!

RELATED

Also check out Dr. Ragan's post on the Myths about Adult ADD.  I love her encouraging and supportive stance.  Here's a quote: 

"If you have ADD, remember most of what you have been told is wrong. You are smart, motivated and stable given the right circumstances. Everyone has to deal with something and this is yours. Kick ADD in the butt and stop letting it run your life."

As an Organizing Coach specializing in working with Adult ADD who also has ADD, I can tell it is absolutely true.  You do not have to be a victim.  Designing your own unique lifestyle and an environment that supports you makes it possible to take charge and learn to love yourself again.

Read more on Myths about Adult ADD.

Denslow Brown, Monica Ricci, and Judith Kolberg Rocked the NAPO D.C. Conference!!

This past weekend I was thrilled to attend the annual Mid-Atlantic Regional NAPO Conference The primary reason I went was to have the opportunity to meet and learn from three of the most amazing women in the organizing industry today.

Here are the highlights:

• Judith Kolberg (Left in the photo)
• Author of Conquering Chronic Disorganization and Founder of NSGCD.  She gave an awesome opening keynote on "The Super Powers of Disorganized People" which I felt truly honored the innovative and individual ways our brains work.  She pointed out how when you really listen to what's going on in the mind of a chronically disorganized person you can see how their situation is actually often coming from a unique and incredibly creative way of seeing the world.  I can't ever thank Judith enough for pioneering the study of chronic disorganization and a framework for helping people overcome the intensely painful experience of people who suffer from trying to use traditional one-size fits all organizing strategies that simply don't work for a lot of people.

• Denslow Brown (on the right in the photo) is one of the Founding Members of NAPO and NSGCD, a certified MASTER Coach, a certified ADD coach, and the brilliant Leader of The Coach Approach for Organizers with is co-taught by the awesome Cameron Gott who is also an ADD coach.  I'm currently in my 8th week of attending The Coach Approach for Organizers  training. It is one of the single best investments I've ever made.  It covers Coaching skills, ADD Organizing, and ADD Coaching. Her hybrid approach to working with people is so empowering.  It includes coaching, education, consulting AND truly advocating for your clients whose self-confidence and esteem is almost always shattered by the years of negativity surrounding their difficulties with organizing and managing time. Facilitating and empowering are at the core of my coaching services and Denslow's 34 years of experience in the field has so enriched my skillset, I'm sure I could never thank her or honor her enough.
  
  Her first presentation at conference was "Deepening Client Commitment and Connection". It provided an excellent framework for avoiding the "driveby organizing syndrome" in which "you organize them and then go away and pray they can maintain it".  Her approach advocates facilitating true long lasting change by encouraging clients to take ownership and pride in their accomplishments, learn from setbacks, and empowering them to design organizing strategies that work for their unique needs.
  
  She presented a second session titled "Positive Inquiry = Business Success" which was an completely innovative approach to finding your niche in the organizing industry.  I can't wait to take even more training with Denslow and I hope she publishes soon!  : )   Learn more about Denslow here.
• Monica Ricci (in the lower center of the photo) is not only an award winning blogger, she is an outstanding author, TV and Radio host, spokesperson,  speaker, motivator and of course, organizer extraordinaire!  See Monica's Post  NAPO D.C. Hosts Mid-Atlantic Regional Conference.  Seeing her show on TV was so helpful and inspirational to me in my career and I was so thrilled to get to see her do her thing LIVE.  Her energy is unbelievable!  Her keynote speech "Fearful to Fabulous: Embracing Boldness" was phenomenal. She had everyone in tears. I'm so inspired by her - I wish I had it recorded!  She talked about all the ways we learn to be fearful and how we can overcome them.  As with any change, your desire for what you want must be stronger than the pain and discomfort of taking action in spite of your fear.  You have to trust that you will live through the pain and ultimately get what you want!  It's soooo worth it!  Thank you so much Monica for sharing your wisdom and experience so generously!

Much appreciation goes out to NAPO D.C. Metro Chapter for organizing this inspiring and educational event and choosing the such awesome speakers!  It was extremely well organized and worth every penny! 

Making Your Natural Adrenaline Moments Work For You!

This morning I was coaching a client with ADD and she had the neatest breakthrough that I thought you might like.  In my ADD coaching training I learned about a phenomenon called  "Completion Chemistry."

Essentially it means that many people, especially those of us with ADD, are more motivated to work on a task when we need to FIND something.  For example, we may hate to file or put things away while we are in midst of doing other far more interested things.  But when we really need to find something, we get a burst of adrenaline for the "hunt".   

My client was teeling me about her successes of the week and mentioned how she had needed to find something in the box of papers she had gathered up while organizing last week.  The box had been sitting there for days and she had had no motivation to work on it.  Suddenly when she needed something in that box, she got a burst of "energy" and become motivated to finally sort out some of the papers in that box.

What a perfect example of "Completion Chemistry"!  I let her what a great strategy that was and explained how she could use it more often and she LOVED it!!!  She felt so validated that she already had an effective strategy and now she could consciously work with it and harness it more often - without feeling guilty about the time she let pass before she got around to organizing the box. 

She even came up with her own name for the strategy  - "Riding the Wave" 

We talked about other ways she could apply this and came up with the idea of using the energy of a deadline to help her "activate" for other tasks by leaving extra time before the deadline and she is goign to try this...instead of seeing the task of having to take her daughter to  a 4:30 appt every day as an interruption, she is going to start getting ready to go an hour before use that hour to "scan" the first floor and do any little tasks that need doing, like sort the mail, return a couple calls, put things away etc. 

I'm leaving at 5:00 tonite to go to the regional NAPO conference in Washington DC so I'm going to ride my adrenaline wave to get packed and ready to go and then answer as many emails as I can, return  calls, and tie up other "loose ends" as FAST as possible!   

How do you "ride the wave of completion chemistry" in your daily life?  What new situations can you apply this concept to?

I sometimes wonder if I have ADD...

Since I wrote my post about finding out I have ADD, I've had several people tell me they sometimes wonder if they have ADD too.  That's how it started for me. I'd work with a diagnosed ADD client and see myself in their challenges. It was like Deja Vu.  I had similar struggles and had learned to overcome them. I decided to specialize in ADD and learn more to get even better at helping them.  The more I learned, the more I saw myself.  It was so weird to being seeing profiles of what my life had been like in so many books and training classes. 

I kept seeing that all my own "unique" and "unconventional" organizing strategies were actually ways I had developed to cope with, or compensate for, the way my brain works. And many of them, that I thought I had invented, were WRITTEN DOWN IN BOOKS ABOUT ADD!

FLOW STATE, PEAK PERFORMANCE, or HYPERFOCUS?

I had never thought that my personality characteristics like super high energy, ability to hyperfocus, get so engaged that I lose track of time, were anything but my creative and achievement drive. Heck people were always telling me they wished they could concentrate like I did.  Or that they had my energy. People PAY for training programs to become more creative, to work in "the FLOW state" and become so passionate and engaged that they "lose track of time"  It's called "Peak Performance Training" in the sports and corporate world.  How could that be part of a Disorder?? It didn't make sense to me. But there it was in writing, along with many other characteristics that were my secret shame.  I would never have guessed they were all connected. So I went to a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD to find out for sure.

TO MEDICATE OR NOT TO MEDICATE

At first, when I actually got the diagnosis, I was surprised at how vehemently I resented the idea of being labeled as a disorder, but I wanted to see if medication would make a difference for me, so I had to accept it.  Medication is controversional; especially for kids.  In fact, it is not always necessary.

See Dr. Amie Ragan's wonderful post on Myths About ADD in which she
discusses Diagnosing ADD and Treating ADD without Medication. 

After all, I did survive 48 years fairly well without it. In a way I'm glad I didn't get medication as a kid because at least I know who I am "au natural".  And, I had a chance to develop character strength and confidence in my OWN ability to overcome my personal challenges without medication. 

That said, I was managing and doing fairly well before taking medication, but it took a lot of energy and I was inconsistent. With the medication I'm taking (a low dose of Concerta) it's much easier to stay on task. I'm still not perfectly consistent, but I'm much more consistent, and I really am better at getting even the tedious tasks I dread accomplished.

GETTING DREADED TEDIOUS TASKS  DONE

For example, I've been working on my backlog of 5000 unread emails since January - plugging away it every day. I'm down to 78 today!!!   I also doing MUCH better at remembering to eat during the day, managing my time and stress levels. I'm seriously letting go of my tendency to overcommit to everything that sounds interesting to me.  I've become so much stronger at saying no to things. The more I've learned about ADD, the more I've learned even better ways to work with it and the medication does make it easier for me.  I have far more good days than bad now. 

LETTING GO OF SHAME

Essentially, even though I was doing very well in the eyes of my friends and colleagues etc. I was acheiving, but I knew I had even more potential that I wasn't living up to.  I now feel like I might actually be able to fulfill my true potential.  I'm feel more able to match my actions to my intentions. It's changed my life dramatically and I feel like I've found a tribe of people with ADD that truly understand me like no one ever has. It's so validating.  And such a relief to be actually be able to talk more openly about the internal struggles that I never talked about out of a sense of shame. Letting go of shame is like losing 50 lbs.  It's so liberating and makes it easier to connect with people authentically and from the heart. 

If you suspect you have Adult ADD, I highly recommend learning more about it.  Even if you don't, you will learn a lot about how to deal with culture that is all about trying to manipulate your attention. The bottom line is that ADD strategies like simplifying your life, and designing a life that FITS you, work for EVERYONE!  : ) 

RELATED READING

For another perspective on "What It’s Like to Have ADD" check out these great articles by Dr. Ed Hallowell   and  "50 Tips On The Management Of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder" 

See Dr. Amie Ragan's wonderful post on Myths About ADD in which she discusses Diagnosing ADD and Treating ADD without Medication.)

See more Myths about ADD from Terry Matlen, ACSW

If you suspect you might have ADD, I recommend reading CRazyBusy ...it's all about distinguishing the ADD life style and culture from real ADD.

More ADD ADHD BOOKS I RECOMMEND

My ADD ADHD REsource List  listing websites, blogs, articles and more

How I Survived My Life with Undiagnosed Adult ADD and Learned to THRIVE!

Having ADD or AD/HD is not a life sentence for living with chronic disorganization. ADD is OFTEN accompanied by great intelligence, creativity and passion that absolutely CAN be channeled into a highly productive lifestyle.  It requires effort, okay a LOT of effort, but there are SO MANY ways to make your life simpler and easier. It IS POSSIBLE to balance structure with freedom.  I'm living proof of that.

I was diagnosed with ADD last year after 48 years of high achievement. (see my resume )  Even though I struggled and had to overcome many hurdles and challenges along the way, including my own attachments to clutter and near financial devastation (read How I got out of $25,000 in debt ) I learned to get over my issues and even became an expert in some of them.

Like home office organizing, financial organizing and even ADD coaching!  I still work hard at some of my issues, like perfectionism, overcommitting, using food to manage my moods, balancing my work and personal life, and managing the incessant flow of ideas from my brain that nearly crushes me at times.  (Honestly, I really wish I could turn my brain off sometimes - it can be so exhausting.)

But in spite of my weaknesses, I have learned to thrive for the most part. I attribute my ability to go through life with undetected ADD and achieve a lot (in spite of the odds) to the fact that I am a whole person and not just someone with ADD.  I have developed many other qualities, beliefs and thinking patterns that drive me to overcome my fears and challenges, accept my weaknesses and work around them, and acknowledge my strengths and build on them.  Here are a few of the things I attribute to having helped me "overcome" the odds and learn to thrive.

An incredible thirst for LEARNING.  Learning from books, from mentors, teachers, bosses, colleagues, clients, and most of all from my mistakes and failures. 

MOTIVATION - Since my first day at school, my NEED TO ACHIEVE combined with my High NEED FOR ACCEPTANCE and AFFILIATION (see David McLelland's theory of motivation ALSO Maslow's Hiearchy of Needs and Herzberg's Theory of Motivation) was tremendous and maybe even inordinately strong.  Because I was different, I felt I needed to achieve near perfection, just to be good enough.  I was always being told I was wasting my "potential" but I wanted so badly to become the best I could be and live up to my potential.  p.s. the Wikipedia on Motivation is amazing almost like a college course on it.

EMPOWERING BELIEFS - The key words above are "MY POTENTIAL"  I have all those teachers, and all the books I read as a kid, to thank, because somehow, I came out believing it was POSSIBLE to be change myself.  POSSIBLE to become organized. I believed that when systems didn't work for me, I needed a new system.  I believed that when I was told in my report cards and performance reviews that I had to learn to  "NOT INTERRUPT", to "WAIT PATIENTLY"  to "NOT OVERCOMMIT" to "NOT STRIVE FOR PERFECTION, EXCELLENT IS GOOD ENOUGH" to "REALIZE THAT NOT EVERYONE COULD WORK AT MY PACE"  to "TURN DOWN MY INTENSITY" and on and on, I believed it was possible that I could figure out ways to make them stop saying that! And I did, thankfully.  Seriously, when I look back my performance reviews when I worked in the corporate world, they read like a classic case study in Adult ADD.  Yes, I had many moments of putting myself down and feeling defeated and unworthy. But I bounced back and tried again even harder. My self-esteem was horrible. But my beliefs were empowering me anyway. Choosing to focus on what I did right build my CONFIDENCE.  (esteem and confidence are VERY different.)

BOUNCING BACK - Turns out that RESILIENCY  is one of the saving graces of most "high functioning" ADDers. (I never quite understood that term till I found out I was one.)  I have been accused of being made of RUBBER, I'm so resilient!  I've been so knocked down along the way, but I simply can't bring myself to stay there.  After all, what GOOD would that do?  What FUN is that?  one of the neat things that most ADD people have in common is that we can be a lot of fun too! 

LEARNING TO LISTEN - This might be the hardest thing I ever learned.  I would get a top perfromance review with a MINUS because of the perception that I wasn't a good listener.  That I was always thinking about what I was going to say next instead of really listening. I could not stand getting this criticism so it became my mission to change that into making listening a strength. I didn't just want them to stop saying that.  I WANTED PRAISE for my listening skills. I thank Steven Covey from the bottom of my heart for changing my life!  He helped me learning to really and deeply listen from the heart. I read his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective people 20 times.  I integrated it's principles into training programs I was writing.  I listened to his tapes over and over again in my car while commuting. And I started changing. I sat on my hands during meetings with the goal of not saying anything until I was directly asked.  It was like torture at first, but I learned to keep my mouth shut and ears open.  I wrote down everything I was thinking instead of blurting it out. I wrote down what others were saying and reflected it back to them before giving my opinion.  And finally, the praise came.  It's amazing how fascinating and wonderful people think you are when you find them fascinating and truly listen to them.   

TOLERANCE AND COMPASSION - Anyone who has truly suffered a lot in their lives knows exactly what I mean. We forgive others easily. We understand what serious pain is and can let go of the little grievances that are meaningless in the end.  We have great empathy, insight and intution.  We the friends that are there when you are at your worst and don't judge you for it. 

COMPENSATING - Another reason why I was able to go through life with undetected ADD was that I suffered in silence.  I was really good at hiding my difficulties.  I would do whatever was necessary to compensate and "make up for my weaknesses" such as perfectionism, being late, doing too many things at once, stressing out, etc.  I would work ridiculously long hours of overtime.  I overprepared for everything. Even though I might be late for work, I would pull 3 all-nighters rather than miss a deadline. I read many self-improvement books, took many countless hours of training, and on and on.  So today, I no longer suffer in silence. I compensate in ways that MINIMIZE my suffering and make my life so much easier that it has ever been.  I'm so grateful to be nearing 50 and finally feeling like I really can live up to my Potential : ) 

A LIFE THAT FITS  Another key reason I eventually began to thrive, and not just survive, was that I quit trying so hard to turn myself inside out to try to fit into a corporate world that was sucking my soul and spirit dry. Instead, I started my own business and created a work life and environment that FIT me.  I created a world where my strengths were FAR more valuable and important than my weaknesses.  I did big consulting projects and I did mostly  ONE AT A TIME.  My hyperfocusing abilities enabled me to turn out one project after another on time and within budget.

Personally I view ADD as a gift, a challenge, and a raw talent just waiting to be harnessed.  A way of thinking and being in the world that is different from the majority in this culture. I really don't believe I am "disordered" but I KNOW I am different from most people.

Medications are helpful because they alleviate some of the pain, and allow us to more easily adapt to the "tyranny of the majority". I'm glad that insurance covers the medications, so if they have to call it a disorder in order to do that, I guess we have to put up with it.  But really, coaching and therapy are probably the most helpful, because in the end, the medications only make it easier to follow through and act on what you've had to LEARN in order to improve your quality of life.  I can only imagine how different my life would have been if I'd had the option of medication and an ADD coach instead of having to spend YEARS AND YEARS trying to change myself without that support. 

There are many debates about whether ADD is a disorder or a syndrome or a personality type, but the fact is that many people in the U.S. suffer from some of the traits and behavior patterns associated with ADD.  Have you read "CRazyBusy" ? It's so SPOT ON in describing the addictive and distracting nature of our lifestyle and how we can LEARN ways to get over it.   

In fact, this whole post was "inspired" by an email I received announcing some really great teleclasses on learning how to thrive with ADD.  See how distracted I can get?  : )

ADHD and Boosting Brain Power
Tues Feb 19 - 9:00 pm EST
Instructor: Lyn Purpura

Overcoming Anger and Frustration
in Relationships Affected by ADHD
Tues Feb 26 - 9:00 pm EST
Instructor: Melissa Orlov

The Perfectionism Battle
Wed Feb 27 - 3:00 pm EST
Instructor: Sheri Hall

Get more information at:  ADD Classes.  Check out my TOP 5 BOOKS ON THRIVING WITH ADD & ADHD

RELATED POSTS & ARTICLES

Myths about ADD  http://addconsults.com/articles/full.php3?id=1030

ADD ADHD REsource List  http://blog.neatandsimple.com/add-adhd-resource-list.html

NEWS FLASH!! ADD ADHD Found to Have Huge Impact on Ability to Follow Weight Loss Program!

Last week I participated in a class on the  ADD Classes site called "AD/HD and Eating Disorders" with Dr. Patricia Quinn, who for the last decade, has devoted her attention professionally to the issues confronting girls and women with ADD (ADHD or AD/HD).

Finally, someone is looking into why so many women have trouble following a normal eating & exercise routine.  Dr. Quinn describes several recent studies that followed women who were being treated at an Obesity Clinic for lifelong issues with weight control.

In one study over 40% of them had undiagnosed ADD (ADHD or AD/HD)! Once they were treated for the ADD, they were able to successfully lose weight.   Her one hour class covers many types of eating disorders including Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating, and Night Eating, all of which have been found to have a very high proportion of undiagnosed ADD (ADHD or AD/HD). 

If you want to hear the recorded class, AD/HD and Eating Disorders you can sign up at ADD Classes For only 9.95 a month you'll get access to the entire library of hundreds of classes and you can download them to listen on your MP3 player too!

Sign up at ADD Classes   - there is no risk, or long term contract, you can drop your subscription at anytime.

Dr. Quinn's class not only provides information about the studies but also answers questions about which kinds of ADD (ADHD or AD/HD) treatments have been most effective in help women with different eating disorders. The Q & A session with Dr. Quinn is extremely informative and practical. 

HOW THIS CLASS HAS HELPED ME

This class has changed my life forever. As someone who has yo-yo'd and struggled with weight control most of my life, and has tried every program out there, I couldn't believe how she described parts of my history with weight almost as if she knew me.  This led me to go to Dr. Omilian, a D.O. who treats ADD / ADHD here in NJ to see if I had undiagnosed ADD.  Turns out I do. 

All my life, my "creative" organizing methods and insights were driven by my own inability to organize using traditional, complicated, inefficient methods that require a lot of maintenance.  Little did I know I was developing my own "compensating structures" for ADD / ADHD that allowed me to be successful in life at everything BUT long-term weight maintenance.  Organizing to lose weight is probably the toughest organizing job there is. 

My ADD / ADHD is relatively mild and has not caused me the severe problems ADD causes for some people - though it does explain many of the life problems I've had to overcome. I believe the reason I was able to conquer many of my issues on my own is due to my extremely high need to achieve results which motivated me to use my creativity to organize for success. 

Luckily, I'm also a student of personality types and understood that "one size does not fit all". I have always known I was a creative type that needed non-traditional organizing methods.  If I tried a traditional planner, calendar or tickler file system or a filing system that I didn't maintain well, I didn't feel like a failure, I just invented my own system and kept at it till I found a way that did work for me. 

Regarding weight control, I've been successful using my creativity to help me plan healthy meals & snacks during the day, I've quit sugar and gluten, lower salt intake, stop drinking soda, and even to quit smoking.  I also organized my shopping routine so that I eat mostly unprocessed foods but still can be spontaneous.  But so far, I haven't been able to completely control my impulsive night eating and cravings for high fat foods.  That is a hallmark of ADD related eating. Now that I've started medication for ADD that curbs impulsivity, I'm already noticing a HUGE difference in my ability to plan what I eat and stick to it - even at night. 

COULD GETTING TREATED FOR ADD AVOID NEED FOR BYPASS SURGERY?

I know this story is just the beginning of my journey to conquer weight control, but I wanted to share it on my blog in hopes that it may inspire other women to make sure they have tried everything else to help them lose weight before resorting to gastric bypass. 

I had considered getting a gastric bypass several years ago but decided not to because I am extremely healthy and did not want to risk my health and high energy levels. I know so many woman who experienced serious complications and whose health and energy declined after getting a bypass.  To be successful in the long term with a bypass, you must be able to follow a healthy eating & exercise program. That's why so many women end up regaining their weight two years after the bypass. 

If I can help relatively healthy women like me avoid doing something as radical as gastric bypass when the real problem is untreated ADD, exposing my personal issues with weight will have been worth it. Don't get me wrong, bypass is a great option for people who have serious life threatening health issues like high blood pressure etc.  but if your primary problem is sticking to an eating and exercise routine, I encourage you to find out if you might have ADD (ADHD) before getting a bypass.  The right treatment and the right ADD Coach might be what you really need.

MORE ABOUT DR. QUINN , WOMEN AND ADD / ADHD

Dr. Patricia Quinn has worked for over 28 years in the areas of ADHD appeared in the video aired on PBS titled, OUTSIDE IN: A Look at Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

Her 1999 book, Understanding Girls with ADHD, was co-authored with Drs. Nadeau and Littman and is groundbreaking in its presentation of this population. She was also co-editor of ADDvance: A Magazine for Women with ADD and is co-founder and currently the director of the non-profit organization, The National Center for Gender Issues and ADHD. In 2002, Dr. Quinn co-edited with her partner, Dr. Nadeau, two volumes on these important topics, Understanding Women with ADHD and the only text for clinicians, Gender Issues and ADHD: Research, Diagnosis, and Treatment.

ARTICLES

Diet and Weight Management Strategies for Adults with ADD (ADHD) by Kathleen G. Nadeau, Ph.D.

The ADHD-Friendly Diet by Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D., Suzanne Rostler, R.D.

MORE ABOUT ADD CLASSES

I LOVE ADD Classes. They have been extremely helpful to me in recommending organizing solutions that work for my ADD & ADHD clients. Personally, audio is a great way for me to learn.  I download them and listen when I travel in my car.  Makes my trips go quickly, especially those long trips we take to Virginia to see my husband's family.  Learning while driving also helps me reduce stress in traffic.

Listen to an Audio Clip describing the ADD Audio Teleclass Library!

A few Audio Class Topics
- Daily Routines for ADD / ADHD
- Decision Making with ADD / ADHD
- Managing Adult ADD / ADHD
- Life Balance with Adult ADD / ADHD
- Help! My Partner has ADD / ADHD
- Parenting a Child with ADD / ADHD
- Many Many More!