NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING

Embracing the Power of "Good Enough" and Overcoming Perfectionism

"Embracing the Power of Good Enough!" Dealing with Perfectionism, Criticism, Disappointment, Frustration, and Rejection

Getting Unstuck participants have been asking for this program for months and here it is!

Perfectionism is a common "side effect" of growing up with ADD and / or high creativity. 

In this program starting May 6 - June 17, I'll help you:

• Develop positive self-talk / inner dialogue that empowers you to respond more effectively to challenging emotions.
• Develop strategies for dealing effectively with feelings of shame, criticism, disappointment, frustration, and rejection.
• Manage perfectionist tendencies
• Define what "good enough" is 
• Experience the power of how having options other than perfect can help you get unstuck, get into action and GET the results you really care about!

I won't be doing "therapy," but it might feel like it at times, as you discover empowering new ways to be in the world. You wont' be "cured" of Perfectionism  overnight, but you will experience significant improvement and be well on the path to overcoming perfectionism, and experiencing less frustration, disappointment, shame, criticism and rejection.

Bring any challenge where your perfectionism, shame, or past disappointments are keeping you stuck. If you are nervous about sharing in the group, don't worry, I won't put you on the spot unless you want to be. Just by being in the program, doing the assignments and listening to others being coached, you will learn and begin to feel better about yourself! 

Get Details + Schedule + Register - CLICK HERE

"Embracing the Power of Good Enough!"

$197  Currently $137 (Save $60) 

Price goes up to $147 on March 12, 2010

Price goes up to $197 in April 

Registration closes on April 30 or when full.

Look forward to seeing you there if you can make it!

"Clear Your Resistance" Coaching Program - Price goes up on March 8

 

Group Coaching Program "Clearing Resistance"

For Women with ADHD and/or Creative Personalities. 

PROGRAM DESCRIPTION

How would your life change if you could:

• Get your bills paid ON TIME?
• Get your taxes filed ON TIME?
• Get your papers filed more easily?
• Set up an effective time management system?
• Set up an ultra-simple meal planning and shopping system?
• Get your closets organized?
• Set up morning and evening systems that start and end your day with a lot less stress? 
• Get clutter cleared?

Getting Back On Track

Getting ready for our Getting Unstuck group coaching session today.  We'll be talking about "Getting Back on Track" after a lapse in a routine...like not exercising for a while, or not eating healthy, or not organizing, or letting clutter build up, etc.   

One of my favorite strategies is:

"Take some action in the direction you want to go - no matter how small it is - and give yourself credit for starting!"  
 

Trouble Sleeping? 12 Tips to Get a Good Night's Sleep

When you have trouble sleeping, do you reach for sleep aids to cure your insomnia? You are not alone. I used Tylenol PM and Melatonin for years to help me sleep.  

But did you know that the consequences of "chronic" sleep aid use can be devastating to your health?

Did you know that chronic lack of sleep aggravates and/or can even cause:

•  ADD-like symptoms such as distractibility and impulsivity?
• depression?
• negative attitudes?
• difficulty dealing with stress?
• poor school and job performance?
• chronic fatigue? 
• muscle pain?
• loss of immune function?
• obesity?
• increased risk taking behavior?
• increased self-medication and risk of addiction?
• difficulty managing emotions?
• difficulty making decisions?
• difficulty organizing?
• accidents?
• difficulty learning? 
• poor memory?

Getting Unstuck: 8 Keys to Overcoming Chronic Disorganization - Teleclass

"Getting Unstuck: 8 Keys to Overcoming Chronic Disorganization and Cultivating the Gifts of ADD and Creative Personality Type

DESCRIPTION

While there are no “simple, easy steps” that will magically “fix ” your problems, there is HOPE! You can succeed at organizing and have the more satisfying and fulfilling life you dream of. You can learn to navigate life and organize with confidence.

Making Peace with Your Morning Routines - Like Getting Dressed!

Today, I'm going to share with you one of the articles I wrote in response to a Getting Unstuck coaching group, member's forum question.  

Thanks to Sandy G for asking the Question:

"My hours and days vary week to week, so it's hard to get a routine going for myself, which has always been hard anyway. Any suggestions for me?"

I know everyone's case of difficulty with morning routines is not like mine, but I'm going to get real personal here and share my excruciating struggle with implementing a morning routine and getting dressed every day so that I could be on time and prepared for my days. 

Embracing Mistakes: A Power Tool for Getting Unstuck, Overcoming Procrastination, and Taking Action

You cannot make progress in life without making decisions. And can't take action and make progress, without learn to embrace making mistakes.

Most accomplished people will tell you - they could never have gotten where they are without making LOTS of mistakes.

In fact they make more bad decisions than good ones.

Thom Hartmann’s Hunter and Farmer Approach to ADD/ADHD

Below is an excellent post describing how ADD looks if you think of it as a "disorder"  VS.  How ADHD traits look with a positive "filter" which Hartmann describes as the "Hunter" view.

His theory is that ADD is a set of traits that were naturally selected for during evolution - ADDers made EXCELLENT hunters and were HIGHLY VALUED for their traits such as being able to:

• hyperfocus;
• react quickly;
• stay up easily at night;
• be highly flexible and adaptable;
• take big risks;
• tolerate change in routine;
• notice everything going on at once, and more. 

In our western society these traits are not an asset when it comes to doing routine, mundane, repetitive tasks...these traits are less common and in environments such as school, assembly lines, and administrative jobs, they can be a hindrance.  Because we don't "naturally" fit in to the "standard" ways of doing things, doesn't mean we truly have a "disorder".  By definition we are "uncommon" - about 6 - 10% of the population. 

 Okay so we aren't good at sitting still all day in schools and offices and doing what we are told.  We are natural initiators and problem solvers though. And in some environments...like professions requiring "diagnosis" or creative problem solving ... our natural traits / strengths are PERFECTLY suited and often valued.

Check out this interesting list! 

http://www.thomhartmann.com/2007/11/01/thom-hartmanns-hunter-and-farmer-approach-to-addadhd/

Here's another neat blog based on his work...  Hunter in a Farmer’s World  An ADHD Life

 

Ariane

Happy Thanksgiving!

Before I head off to Virgnia to spend the holiday with my husband's family, I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my blog readers!  I'm so thankful for each and every one of you that has subscribed over the past four years I've been blogging.  It's been a great ride, and it's been wonderful to get to know so many of you!  Especially the 400 plus of you that have  joined me on Facebookwhere I post more often. I'm grateful for you too!

I'm also deeply and eternally thankful for the hundreds of women who have been a part of my Getting Unstuck program which started in January 2008, and to the core group of nearly 45 women I now consider my "soul sisters", that have been subscribers since the beginning.  Without you the group would not be the safe and inviting place it is. I love spending time online and on the phone with you!

Even for me, being part of this group of amazing women, has been powerful in so many ways.  

• I've lost over 50 pounds
• I've cleared some of my own issues with "planning ahead" and creating boundaries and structure.
• I've gotten my calendar automated so people can book their own appointments (what a miracle!)
• And now, I've actually planned and programmed the Getting Unstuck Group Coaching programs for women with ADHD / Creative Personality a FULL 7 MONTHS AHEAD!!!    

Seeking Participants for New Hoarding and Chronic Disorganization Documentary Series on the Discovery Channel

I spoke with Cecile, the producer  of this new documentary series on Hoarding and Chronic Disorganization today.  She is sending me the Pilot episode to review.  But in the meantime, I wanted to start getting the word out in case you might like to participate on the show and get free therapy, organizing and clean up services.  Here are some additional facts about the show:

1. They start filming in December and January - so act quickly if you are interested. 

  

2. They are recruiting the top doctors, authors and researchers in the field to provide free counseling for participants.

What is "Prioritizing" anyway? Why is it SO HARD? And What can You do About it?

When I read books on time management and prioritizing, I find that many of them focus on Prioritizing defined as reviewing your TO DO list and deciding what is

A - most important and urgent
B - somewhat important but not urgent
C - least important and least urgent

But for many of us, distinguishing what is important among the many things we care about, is made incredibly difficult by the way our brains and emotions work. Emotions and brain chemicals greatly influence what seems important or urgent at any given moment. We can think of something that needs to be done in one moment and be incredibly energized by it. It truly seems in the moment like the most important thing on earth at the time.

So we either forget about everything else and act on that feeling immediately, or we put it on our to do list in hopes of "getting back to it later."  Then, if you are at all like me, later comes around, I look at the item on my to do list, remember thinking it was so important, I but I can't for the life of me remember why! 

Has this ever happened to you?

Personally, I have NEVER been able to look at a list of Action Items, systematically prioritize it with A's B's and C's and then follow it exactly without getting frustrated. And honestly, I have stopped trying to do that. And you know what? 

Everything important gets done anyway.

Why? because there are many ways to prioritize and the ABC system (and the Covey System, David Allen's GTD, and the Julie Morganstern system) are only just a few of them! Furthermore, the ABC system is often NOT the best way for creatives and ADDers.

In fact, it is  often one of the worst ways! Why? because.......

Do you get extra stressed during the holidays? Relief is Here!

 
If you tend to get stressed by the holiday season, you are not alone.  Those of us with ADD and/ or creative personality types are triply challenged by all the possibilities and decisions of the season.  We face temptation at every turn.  We want ALL the cute decorations, we want to give gifts to EVERYONE, we want to send cards to EVERYONE and got ALL the parties. 

There are so many decisions to be made.  So much stress.  How do you add all these extras to your life without getting overstressed and overwhelmed? 

Sari Solden's Getting Unstuck Community Teleclass on "Creating a Fulfilling Life" - NOW FREE TO ALL! Join us on TUESDAY 9-22 7:30 EST

I just spoke with Sari Solden, and she has graciously offered to allow ANYONE who would like to participate LIVE in our special event with Sari Solden on Getting Unstuck tomorrow completely FREE!!!  

If you can't be on the call and would like to listen the recording, you can access it by becoming a Full Access member of either of our communities. (See info at end of post to join either or both communities and get the recording free.)

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About Sari's Interactive Teleclass

In this session Sari will share some of the core principles that guide her work as a result of over twenty years of work with men and women with ADHD. In this one hour presentation with question and answer session, Sari discusses her perspective on how adults with the differences, challenges, and strengths that often accompany adult ADHD, can move toward developing a fulfilling life.

She will explore the importance of managing your inner narrative by beginning to tell yourself a new story about yourself. Her underlying message is that when you accept the struggle instead of fighting against it, you conserve your energy. This allows you to more easily release your natural abilities and move in the direction of your values to create a meaningful life.

Sari will speak for about 30-40 minutes followed by a Q & A Session.  Join us to get your questions answered!  Submit your questions here. 

 

______________________________________________

About Sari

Sari Solden, MS LMFT, a psychotherapist in private practice in Ann Arbor, MI, has worked with adults with AD/HD for over 20 years. Sari is the author of Women with Attention Deficit Disorder and Journeys Through ADDulthood. She is a prominent speaker at both national and international AD/HD conferences, serves on the professional advisory board of ADDA, has served on the program conference committee for national CHADD and is a past recipient of ADDA's award for outstanding service by a helping professional. Her areas of specialization include inattentive AD/HD, women's issues, as well as the long term counseling issues for adults not diagnosed until adulthood. Sari currently hosts and presents on www.ADDJourneys.com, her online community for adults with ADD.

 

HERE'S HOW TO ATTEND!

TUESDAY, SEPT. 22

TIME

7:30 PM till 8:30 PM Eastern
6:30 PM till 7:30 PM Central
5:30 PM till 6:30 PM Mountain
4:30 PM till 5:30 PM Pacific


CALL IN -  OR -  LISTEN OVER THE WEB

Conference Dial-in Number: 218-339-3600
Participant Access Code: 773 236#

WEB: http://www.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=8931225

Note:  The web stream has a 20 second delay - so you can't listen over the web and the phone at the same time.  However you can listen over the web, and then call in at any time.

Submit Questions FOR SARI NOW!!!

Anyone who has a question for Sari Solden can submit questions right now by going here.  You can also submit questions during the call. 

Look forward to seeing you there!  Leave a comment below if you have any questions!

 

HOW TO GET THE RECORDING OF THIS SESSION

Join Sari's ADD Journeys Community for BOTH MEN AND WOMEN!

Sari's community at www.ADDJourneys.com is where Sari regularly blogs and presents video and audio sessions.  Her community also features many other resources for ADDers such as discussion forums, a weekly audio message and a weekly "unVeg with Reg" session.  You can join for free as a limited member and then upgrade at any time to become a FULL ACCESS member where you will get access to the recording of this call plus many other awesome calls by Sari such as her recent teleclass on "Creating a Vision."  

Join my Getting Unstuck Community for WOMEN Only!  

My community provides  PLUS you get a monthly program which provides at least 6 hours of opportunities to interact with me LIVE VIA PHONE in our teleclasses, group coaching sessions, repatterning sessions and more.  PLUS you get FULL ACCESS to

• My entire portfolio of e-Books, worksheets, handouts and more. 
• Over 30 audio recordings and online workshops covering everything from Taking Charge of your Finances to Mastering Your Emotions to Organizing 101. 
• Discussion forums and blogs
• Live Chat with other members
• Opportunity to connect with a "clutter buddy"  
• 50% off my usual private coaching rates, and so much more! 

You do NOT have to have ADHD to become a member, but if you struggle with overwhelm, clutter, time management, planning, prioritizing, and organizing your life, you will fit right in! 
Learn more about the Getting Unstuck Community here. 

Overspending - 12 Warning Signs You Might Have a Problem

I'm working on my handout for my program on Overcoming Overspending which starts on Thursday Sept. 3 and thought I'd share some of it with you. 

_______________________________________________________

12 Warning Signs You Might Have a Problem with Overspending and Overshopping

• You use shopping as “recreation” and “retail therapy” without a budget or limits on what you spend.
• You have several items in your wardrobe that still have labels on them after a year.
• You are afraid to look at your credit card bills and total up your credit card debt.
• You’ve been borrowing from one credit line to pay back another.
• You frequently pick up the check and/or buy things for people even though you can’t really afford it.
• You have more supplies for your hobby (i.e. scrapbooking, fishing, etc.) than you will ever have time enough to use.
• You hide your spending / purchases from people you live with.
• You worry constantly about whether or not you can pay your bills.
• You rarely, if ever walk into a store without buying several things you didn’t intend to buy.
• When your spouse or partner disappoints you or hurts you, you get “revenge” by shopping or spending a lot of money.
• You think about shopping and spending money even when you are not shopping.
• You have tried to limit your shopping, but can’t.

If you are a woman who can relate to any of the above scenarios...and you want support to start changing your impulsive spending habits AND your life, you are most welcome to join us!

Here's what one of our members has to say about her experience in the program....

  "I am getting far more out of the Getting Unstuck program than I'd expected.  I've purchased many courses and info products, but they don't compare to this program.  This is real coaching, with real people..and it's really helping me clear clutter, and feel more empowered in my life. I have more hope and a positive outlook. Oh, and the program is also a great value."

- Sharon S    Listen to more testimonials here

JOIN BY SEPTEMBER 2 AT 5:00 EST AND SAVE $20!

After that the price goes back to $67.

REGISTER NOW

Click here to see all the Overcoming Overspending program details!

p.s.  In October, I'll be presenting a shorter version of this class (without the coaching) at the Virtual AD/HD Conference!

Sari Solden Confirmed as Getting Unstuck Guest Speaker! 9-22-2009

I am thrilled to announce that Sari Solden is our featured guest speaker for our Getting Unstuck Monthly Program in September!  Our theme for the month of September is Overcoming Overspending.  Program starts next Thursday on September 3!   (Dates are 9/3, 9/10, 9/17 at 11:00 AM EST and 9/22 at 7:30 PM)

All women are welcome to join our program - whether you struggle with Overspending, Time Management, Low Self-Esteem, ADHD, Chronic Disorganization, Clutter, Hoarding, or any other manifestation of difficulty prioritizing, making decisions, procrastination, and overwhelm, you will find support in these programs! 

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About our Special Session with Sari -
Sept. 22 7:30 - 8:30 pm EST

I have been a huge fan of Sari's for years now.  Even more so since I met her personally at the NSGCD conference last year.  Her warmth, openness and engaging speaking style along with her message of hope and acceptance, helped empower me to living openly with ADD and stop feeling ashamed of my weaknesses and imperfections so that I could focus on my strengths. In fact, I am a FULL ACCESS member of her www.ADDJourneys.com community where she regularly blogs and presents.

 

In this session Sari will share some of the core principles that guide her work as a result of over twenty years of work with men and women with ADHD. In this one hour presentation with question and answer session, Sari discusses her perspective on how adults with the differences, challenges, and strengths that often accompany adult ADHD, can move toward developing a fulfilling life.

She will explore the importance of managing your inner narrative by beginning to tell yourself a new story about yourself. Her underlying message is that when you accept the struggle instead of fighting against it, you conserve your energy. This allows you to more easily release your natural abilities and move in the direction of your values to create a meaningful life.

Sari's Bio

Sari Solden, MS LMFT, a psychotherapist in private practice in Ann Arbor, MI, has worked with adults with AD/HD for over 20 years. Sari is the author of Women with Attention Deficit Disorder and Journeys Through ADDulthood. She is a prominent speaker at both national and international AD/HD conferences, serves on the professional advisory board of ADDA, has served on the program conference committee for national CHADD and is a past recipient of ADDA's award for outstanding service by a helping professional. Her areas of specialization include inattentive AD/HD, women's issues, as well as the long term counseling issues for adults not diagnosed until adulthood. Sari currently hosts and presents on www.ADDJourneys.com, her online community for adults with ADD.

 

JOIN US!

I invite you to join us in September to GET UNSTUCK and GET INSPIRED to Overcome Overspending! 

We are also now accepting  registration for our October program on "Reducing Stress and Clutter with Better Boundaries" and our November program on "Prioritizing What Really Matters"
 as well! 

Professional organizers, therapists, coaches and other service professionals who work with the chronically disorganized, ADDers, and Hoarders are welcome to join our program for your own professional development as long as you are there to participate, share, and not just promote your services. From time to time, we are happy to feature our members in bonus teleclasses, and also have a new section on our website devoted to helping members get their small businesses started and create an appropriate online presence tailored to their unique business goals. We are helping them sort through the hype so that they can get unstuck in their business and get into action! 

Embracing Imperfection: The Value of the Cracked Pot : )

One of the members of my Getting Unstuck program shared this story in our community blog and I just had to share it with you!  Enjoy!

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots; each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"  "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them."

"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Do not postpone Joy!

The Keys to Letting Go of Clutter Peacefully and Making it through "the Bad ADHD Days"

Taking things one step at a time is truly the natural way of things. Decluttering, like losing weight will last longer if you do it gradually and in waves. Crash diets make you hungry....and then you eat a ton more. The same thing happens with things. When you let too much go, too fast, and it hurts, you take the risk of  triggering a new binge of acquisition. Even when your massive decluttering is over, you will still have to let go of more every day to maintain. Just like losing weight, you have to learn to "eat less" and "eliminate more junk" every day.

The Keys to Letting Go Peacefully

Learning to peacefully let go of clutter is the best way to create long lasting change in your relationship with your things.

• Start with the relatively easy stuff
• Let go of a little every day until it gets easier.
• Take breaks. Taking a day or 2 every week off during a big decluttering projects is a great reward for your accomplishments!
• Find adventure and humor in the stuff you find as you go through the "mystery" piles.
• Find something to laugh about.  A big belly laugh is a great way to help you relieve the stress and regain your perspective about why you are letting go of this stuff.
• Some days it will be easier to make decisions than on other days. Accept the fact that somedays you will be more productive than others. You will never be perfect and that is more than okay!
• Appreciate yourself for every bit of progress you make along the way.  This will help reinforce you to do even more.
• Celebrate and feel good about every item and every bag you let go.
• Find someone or a group to share your successes and to talk through your tougher challenges.My Getting Unstuck Community is one way you can find support.  We help members connect with a "clutter clearing partner" .  We also have a 24/7 online chat room where you can meet up with someone spontaneously and get inspired to clear clutter together and report back to each other. After our weekly calls, people are so inspired the chat room is buzzing like crazy! 

"Joys Shared are Doubled,
Sorrows Shared are Halved"

 

Your emotional state is critical to making decisions. 

 Avoid attempting clutter clearing when you haven't slept or are already stressed out. Learning to accept this was a big breakthrough for me personally. Having ADD means each day is a bit unpredictable as to how clear thinking I'll be and how emotionally resilient I'll be.  Ive learned that sleep and exercise are the two most important variables.  So I take lots of steps to reduce the variability and make sure I get as much regular good sleep and exercise as I can.  But difficulties with consistency are still there.  Going through menopause significantly impacts hormones and occasionally interferes with my sleep. 

Understanding this helps me tolerate the bad days more easily, which lessens the impact.  When I'm not "up to it" I've learned to listen to what I really need, give myself a break, relax, take a walk, or just play with my cats and wait for it to pass.

Maintaining is something to be PROUD of!!

Some days it takes everything I have just to get through the day, maintain my home and take care of my cats. And to be honest, I've learned to be grateful for those days of "maintaining". There was a time when I had many days where I just kept making things worse. When I had bad days before, I would get into such a funk over it that some days I could barely even get out of bed. I would cancel everything on my agenda, and make things worse by feel guilty and beating myself up for not being able to "do what I told myself to do". I cried so much over that. But not anymore.

Understanding the role ADHD was playing in my life helped me manage it better and not beat myself up about it.

Now I just tell myself that if I give myself the time off, eventually my clarity, enthusiasm, energy, ideas and ability to make decisions more easily, will all come back. Once I learned to accept and work with my natural ADHD / emotional cycles, the "negative" cycles became much shorter and much less severe. It's like the downward spiral bounces back up again much more quickly. And not having a ton of clutter looming over me really helps a lot.

On my good days, I produce like crazy. Far more than many people do. So I've learned to take the bad with the good...everything has a price and a challenge...that is mine. : )

Stay focused on the awesome progress you are making and don't rush it. You CAN achieve your vision - in your own way and in your own rhythm!

Connect with me on   Facebook   Twitter  Getting Unstuck

Learn from top ADHD experts and authors at 2009 Virtual ADHD Conference Oct. 5-7

What a great lineup of experts this year!  Last year's conference was fantastic...and this year looks like it will just as great!

What I love about this conference is that you access to learn from top experts, plus connect virutally in the forums with other participants as well as experts, AND you don't have to travel!  You can attend the Virtual AD/HD Conference™ from the comfort of your own home and save so much money compared to attending live conferences.  Plus you get recordings of the sessions and handouts, and even a "goodie bag!"

DATES:   October 5-7, 2009

SPEAKERS

   • Edward Hallowell, MD on “Married to Distraction”
   • Daniel Amen, MD on “A Magnificent Mind at Any Age”
   • Patricia Quinn, MD on “Women and Girls with ADHD”
   • Charles Parker, DO on “Paying Attention to Drugs for Paying Attention”
   • Kenny Handelman, MD on “Evidence-Based Alternative Treatments for ADHD” 
   • and ME!  Ariane Benefit, MSEd on "Overcoming Overspending: Why Adults with AD/HD Overshop and How to Stop

PLUS

•  Kate Kelly, RN, MSN
• Judith Kohlberg
• Tara McGillicuddy, SCAC
• J. Russell Ramsay, PhD
• Nancy Ratey, Ed.M, MCC, SCAC
• Roland Rotz, PhD; Jodi Sleeper-Triplett, MCC, SCAC
• and many more!

A full conference agenda can be found on the conference website

This event is for everyone affected by ADHD, including adults, parents, spouses, and professionals. Participants can choose to attend sessions live via teleconference or webcast, or listen to presentation recordings. There will also be opportunities to interact with your peers in dedicated forums and chat rooms.

Please join me for this unique event that promises to be both informative and fun!

Register today!  I look forward to seeing you there!

 

Moving this Summer? ADD Friendly Tips for Moving and Packing with Less Stess

Summer is a time when lots of people are moving and I've been getting lots of questions on the topic.  Since I've moved over 15 times in my life (many of the interstate moves) and also have helped several clients move, here are some of my best tips to help you make the transition to your new home with a lot less stress.

 

MAKE IT EASY FOR THE MOVERS AND YOURSELF BY PACKING WITH THE END IN MIND

Make a list of the rooms in your new home. Establish unique names for each room in your new home.  So if you have 2 bathrooms, you could say Master Bath and Guest bath.  Same with Bedrooms. On moving day you will put a Jumbo Post-it or sheet of paper with the room name on each door. As you pack, label all boxes with the rooms they will be going to - using the exact same room name.  Have the movers put the boxes in the appropriate rooms. (Same goes with furniture, you can pin room labels to things after wrapping them in cloth.)

 

MOVING AND PACKING SUPPLIES

I recommend creating a packing supply kit to keep everything you need handy.

• Bubble wrap / newsprint
• Markers
• Labeler (optional)
• Box sealing tape
• Donation bags and boxes for breakables
• Trash bags
• Recycling containers
• Scissors
• Furniture pads/Blankets (may be provided by your mover)

PACKING TIPS

As you pack:

1. Use 2-4 sizes of boxes and try to make them consistent so that they stack easily.
2. Mark the contents directly on the box with a marker. INCLUDE THE ROOM NAME they will be going to and a number. e.g. JJ's BEDROOM #4   Do not use Post-its on the boxes.   You can use labels.  I personally list as much detail as possible so that I don't have to open all the boxes later if I'm looking for one thing.
3. Start packing AS SOON AS you know you will be moving.  Shoot for 3 months before the move (if you can) so that you have time to declutter as you pack without stressing out.  
4. Set aside one room or area for all your newly packed boxes to be stored till moving day.
5. Start with long term storage areas / cabinets / drawers etc.  and pack things you don't use often into their own boxes.  Mark them as "OPEN LAST."
6. When packing things you use often (daily, weekly, monthly)  Label those boxes "Open First." 
7. Fragile, valuable items should be packed according to UPS shipping guidelines which include packing a smaller box inside a larger box filled with insulation.  If possible keep these items with you rather than shipping them with the mover.
8. Pack light.  Keep boxes under 50 lbs or if you are moving yourself, pack them so that you can easily lift and move them.  And I don't mean pack as much as you CAN lift.  If you are going to be moving 30 or more boxes, the first one feels fine, but they get heavier and heavier with each box!  So make it easier on yourself!

PREPARATION CHECKLIST FOR DAY ONE IN YOUR NEW HOME

I recommend creating "DAY ONE SUPPLIES" boxes for things you will need as soon as you arrive in your new home.  Also pack suitcases for each member of the family with what you need for at least a few days. If you don't have suitcases, perhaps you could borrow some or just use boxes. Here a few ideas for Day One.

• Sheets and towels
• Alarm Clock
• Favorite Music
• Phone (if you will have a land line)
• Toilet paper
• Cleaning supplies
• Medications
• Toiletries
• A Couple Games / Toys for the kids
• Basic dishes / silverware
• A frying pan and pot
• Shopping List and Take Out / Delivery Menus for the New Location

VITAL PAPERS & ESSENTIALS CHECKLIST

One of the most common complaints I hear about is vital papers getting lost in the shuffle.  Don't let this happen to you!  Create a single place for all your critical documents.  If they are in folders even better.  You can get a portable safe / document box or you can use a brief case.  But ideally, your documents container should be fireproof and water proof.  Here are some of the most common essential documents to keep in a special place.

• New House Keys
• Bills to be paid
• Emergency Contacts
• Phone Number List for Movers and all the new services you will need in your new home
• School Transfer / Immunization / Medical Records for the kids
• Birth Certificates / Adoption Records / Marriage records
• Passports
• Insurance policies
• Check book
• Legal records and papers related to your new home
• Add your own here....

 

Should you create an inventory?

I get asked this a lot.  The answer is: it depends.  For liability reasons, the proper way to do this for insurance purposes is to list all the items, estimate their condition and value, and take photographs.
However, for many ADDers the idea of this is overwhelming.  If you can't wrap your head around it, you can hire someone to do it for you before the movers come, or if you are willing to accept the risk, go simple.  Before the boxes are moved, a simple inventory listing the Rooms and the number of boxes per room could suffice.

 

MORE RESOURCES

I know it's tempting to research this like crazy....but don't get bogged down with this task.  Stay focused on getting packed, getting your address changed with all your billers, getting services shut off in your current place, and getting your new accounts setup in your new place and you will be fine!

HGTV's Front Door has a pretty comprehensive Moving Guide

Change Your Address Online with USPS  You can also pick up a Mover's Guide at your local Post Office.

26 Post I've written on Donating and Recycling Your Stuff

Wishing you a stress and hassle-free move!

 

Getting Unstuck in August: Getting Unstuck by Becoming the Master of Your Emotions!

Based on feedback and many requests from our over 50 members of the Getting Unstuck Teleclass Program, in August we are focusing in-depth on the emotional side of clutter.  As anyone who struggles with clutter and emotional overwhelm knows, once emotional overwhelm gets triggered, it's almost impossible to stay on track and act on our plans for the day. Not to mention how challenging it is to let go of clutter we have emotional attachments to. 

Our theme this month is designed to get you started on the path to consciously taking charge of your emotional life rather than being at the mercy of your emotions. Here is our program for the month of August. 

The program is designed for women over 35 who have ADD / ADHD or ADD - like traits or have creative  / highly sensitve personality types.  However, it is also perfect for anyone who struggles with emotional blocks around organizing and clutter clearing, because what works for ADDers works really well for anyone!  If this sounds right for you, we looking forward to having you with us!

 

Getting Unstuck by
Becoming the Master of Your Emotions!

    SESSION 1 - THURSDAY August 6   

TIME: 11:00 am - 1:00 EST 

Ariane Benefit

Mastering Your Emotions: The Secret to Effective Clutter Clearing!

Your emotional state is the number one predictor of how effective you will be in making decisions, clearing clutter, managing your time, getting more organized, and taking care of yourself! As anyone who struggles with overwhelm knows, once emotional overwhelm gets triggered, it's almost impossible to stay on track and act on our plans for the day. During this call, Ariane will present a teleclass followed by personal coaching. We will cover:

• How emotions are created and how they get "hijacked"
• How the relationship between your emotional (right) brain and rational (left) brain affects your ability to get things done
• How past emotional traumas / loss / grief cause us to create strong emotional attachments to things and keep you stuck
• The unique emotional challenges of life with an ADHD brain and/or highly creative mind
• 10 Strategies you can start using today to stop being a hostage to your emotions, prevent emotional hijacking and become the master of your emotions such as:

(Content will be based on my experience using NLP, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and Strategies for Developing Emotional Intelligence)


SESSION 2 - THURSDAY August 13
 TIME: 11:00 am - 1:00 EST  
  Ellen Shapiro with Ariane Benefit

Harness the Power of Your Emotions
Repatterning + Coaching Call

Most of the time we judge, suppress or try to talk ourselves out of our feelings--but often this leads to more struggle and stuckness. Instead of fighting with your feelings, Ellen will show you some constructive ways to use the energy that fuels our emotions, even "negative' feelings we avoid like anger or sadness. Also through techniques based on yoga and meditation, we can learn to unhook from our feelings so that we can witness with love and compassion, what is arising within us.

During this call, Ellen will help us to look at the energy of our emotions--and how we can harness that energy for making positive changes. She has a powerful process for guiding you to articulate your challenges and heal and forgive the past. She gently inspires you to let go of patterns that no longer serve you and embrace a more empowered way of being in the world.

SESSION 3 - THURSDAY August 20
TIME: 11:00 am - 1:00 EST 
Bernadette Armiento with Ariane Benefit

Self-Care Strategies for Mastering Your Emotions

During this call, Bernadette present a teleclass discussing the connection between self-care and your emotional resilience. We will then provide personal coaching. Topics will include:

• Overcome resistance to taking better care of your body
• Manage stress
• Get better sleep
• Eat healthier
• Incorporate regular movement into your life
• Manage your energy levels
• Set better boundaries

Establish effective rhythms for your life that allow you to make time for what really matters!

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PLUS for the first time we are offering 3 Bonus Evening Sessions! 

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BONUS - EVENING SESSION 1!

Using The Sedona Method to Master Your Emotions

DATE: TUESDAY August 18
TIME: 8:00 pm - 9:00 EST
Ellen Shapiro

Among her many inspiring talents, Ellen is also a Certified Sedona Method Coach. She will explain to us what the method is about and demonstrate some of the processes for dealing with negative emotional triggers so you can bounce back quickly.

BONUS - EVENING SESSION 2!

LIGHTEN UP!!  Strategies for Laughing Your Way to Clearing Clutter!

DATE: TUESDAY August 25
TIME: 7:00 pm - 8:30 EST
Sandy Guderyon, Ellen Shapiro and Ariane Benefit

Sandy is a Laws of Attraction Coach and Practioner / Leader of Laughter Yoga! We have teamed up to provide you the what, whys and hows of using laughter to help you get unstuck, energize yourself, and clear clutter! Come experience a Laughter Yoga Mini-Session with Sandy PLUS Laughter Boosters led by Ellen!

You don't want to miss this!!

Time spent laughing is
time spent with the gods.
-Japanese proverb

 

BONUS - EVENING SESSION 3!

Sharing Spaces

DATE: THURSDAY August 27
Time: 8:00 pm - 9:30 EST
Ariane Benefit

Ariane will share strategies for communicating and living with people whose clutter habits and / or organizing styles are different from yours AND take your questions to help you solve real challenges you are currently facing.

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CONTACT INFO

You can reach me at my new Google Voice phone number:

 (424) BENEFIT  (424) 236-3348

or EMAIL ME

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HOW TO REGISTER

OPTION 1 - Single  Month - $67

Includes teleclasses, group coaching calls, and 24/7 access to the Getting Unstuck Learning Library until August 31!  Get more details here 

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OPTION 2 -  Monthly Subscription - $47

Save $20 per Month Includes teleclasses, group coaching calls, and 24/7 access to the Getting Unstuck Learning Library for one year. Get more details here  OR

 

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COMING UP in 2009 

 

SEPTEMBER 3, 10, and 17 
"OVERCOMING OVERSPENDING"

 

OCTOBER 8, 15, and 22 
"SETTING BOUNDARIES and EMBRACING IMPERFECTION"

 

NOVEMBER 5, 12, and 19 
"PRIORITIZING WHAT REALLY MATTERS" Getting Clear About What You REALLY Want; Staying Connected to Your Higher Purpose"

 

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Relationship Balance When One Person Has ADHD - F*ree Teleseminar TUESDAY

ADDClasses.com is offering a f*ree Teleseminar this month with one of the leading psychologists who specializes in ADHD,  Dr. Ari Tuckman!

Title:  Relationship Balance When One Person Has ADHD

Description: ADHD affects all aspects of an adult's life, including their romantic relationships. We will discuss how to avoid common pitfalls to create a better relationship. Encourage your non-ADHD partner to listen in, too!

Date: Tuesday July 28, 2009

Time: 9:00 pm EDT (New York Time)

Mark your calendar and register here now!

 

Don't want to wait?

Check out all the classes already recorded and ready for you to download / listen in the ADD Audio Library,  I've learned SO much from the experts in this valuable collection of teleclasses. 

I also presented a teleclass called Simplifying Your Life: Strategies that Work for ADHD which you can download there as well.

Here are just a few of the hundreds of classes you get instant access to:

Communicating with Your ADD Spouse or Partner	Tara McGillicuddy
How to Thrive in Marriage with ADHD	Melissa Orlov
Living with an ADD Partner 101	Mimi Handlin
Overcoming Anger and Frustration in Relationships Affected by ADHD	Melissa Orlov
Removing Relationship Roadblocks	Scott Lewis

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p.s. Don’t miss my session on Overcoming Overspending
at the Virtual AD/HD Conference!

The Virtual ADHD Conference is back this year from October 5-7 and I'll be speaking at it! 
My topic:  Overcoming Overspending; Why Adults with ADHD Overshop and How to Stop!

Learn more and Register today!   Check out my podcast on the topic while you are there!

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Hope to see you there!

 

Food, Inc. The BIG Profits in Poor Nutrition

To me, you can't truly live a Neat & Simple lifestyle if you don't feel well and healthy most of the time.  I see it so often in my clients, friends and family that struggle with excessive clutter and chronic disorganization. 

Clutter and disorganization are almost always, symptoms of deeper underlying emotional and / or chronic health issues such as chronic pain, depression, chronic fatigue, obesity, fybromyalgia, ADHD and poor nutrition.  In fact, I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone who is chronically ill that has eaten a long term really healthy diet free of chemicals, artificial sweeteners, sugar, transfats, high fructose corn-syrup, low in gluten, and high in unprocessed vegetables, fruit, whole grain and protein sources. 

I grew up on a primarily highly processed chemical laden diet courtesy of the "surplus food" program provided by welfare before they had food stamps.  The stuff was crap.  Powdered eggs, highly processed "cheese product", pastas, anything you could dry and preserve with lots of cheap chemicals.

The only times I ate well as a kid were when I ate at my grandmother's house.  She cooked mostly whole food, though she did engage me in my former addictions of ice cream and popcorn.  Every Sunday we would go for a "Sunday drive" to get ice cream, and then come home to watch Ed Sullivan and eat a HUGE bowl of popcorn while we played cards.

But I digress. What I really want to do here is reach out to those of you want to feel better and improve your health by improving your nutrition, but find it really difficult to stop buying and eating the enticing and highly addictive substances companies like to call "food."

This trailer for the documentary Food, Inc. will make it a lot easier to motivate youself to start voting with your dollars and make Food corporations more accountable what they put into our food supply.  And of course, the movie will make an even better ally in your campaign to release your junk food cravings!!

Similar Movies to Inspire You (Descriptions from Netflix.com)

Super Size Me(2004) PG-13   (Now showing free with your Netflix Membership)

On the heels of recent lawsuits against McDonald's, director Morgan Spurlock takes a hilarious and often terrifying look at the effects of fast food on the human body, using himself as the proverbial guinea pig. For one month, Spurlock eats nothing but McDonald's, ordering everything on the menu and "super-sizing" his order whenever asked. The result is a sobering examination of the line between personal and corporate responsibility.

Fast Food Nation(2006) R 

Richard Linklater's fictional tale (inspired by Eric Schlosser's 2001 book of the same name) critiques the junk-food juggernaut that's arguably responsible for America's alarming obesity rates. Don Henderson (Greg Kinnear), a corporate exec of a national fast-food chain, follows beef's journey from the corrals to the slaughterhouses and ultimately to your stomach. The power cast includes Ethan Hawke, Patricia Arquette and Bruce Willis.

The Corporation(2004) UR

Filmmakers Mark Achbar and Jennifer Abbott explore the genesis of the American corporation, its global economic supremacy and its psychopathic leanings, with social critics like Noam Chomsky and Milton Friedman lending insight in this documentary. With their merciless quest for profit and insatiable aim to sway every aspect of culture, conglomerates' inner workings are scrutinized to draw conclusions about "business as usual."

Related Articles on this Blog

Cracking the Overeating Code - Interview with Dr. David Kessler

ADD-Friendly Tips for Healthy Eating: Veggies, Butter and Self-medicating with Food

Sugar linked to depression, severe PMS, arthritis, ADD, autism, asperger's, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, yeast infections...

Related Books I Recommend

The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite by David Kessler

Going Against the Grain: How Reducing and Avoiding Grains Can Revitalize Your Health By Melissa Smith

Sugar Shock!: How Sweets and Simple Carbs Can Derail Your Life-- and How YouCan Get Back on Track By Connie Bennett, Stephen Sinatra

Hope you find lots of inspiration in these resources as I have!

Sign up for my Getting Unstuck News & Notes and Get FREE Ebooks!

Cracking the Overeating Code - Interview with Dr. David Kessler

Here's a MUST READ blog post for anyone who struggles with overeating....

Janice Taylor, weight loss coach, hypnotherapist, and author of All Is Forgiven, Move On interviews Dr. David Kessler, author of, The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite (one of my new favorite books) on the Huffington Post

My favorite quote from the interview:

Dr. David Kessler

"The food industry is a for-profit business. Their business model is to pull out all the bells and whistles, load the food with multiple layers of salt, fat and sugar, thus creating what I call "carnival food." This carnival atmosphere keeps us wanting and coming back for more.

The food industry's first priority is to make their foods as highly 'palatable' and appealing as possible. They discovered that certain foods can and do keep us eating and eating, with no end in sight."

_________________

So many people think that food wouldn't be sold if it was really bad for you.  The truth is that most food companies care far more about profit than how nutritious their food is.  In fact, if they are a publicly traded stock, by law, their NUMBER ONE concern is profitability for their shareholders.

My question is, how long does it take to restore your system to good chemical health when you were raised on an over 80% processed food diet AND spent nearly 45 years eating that crap? 

__________________ 

2nd favorite quote:

"Palatability refers to how food engages our senses. Is it cold? Creamy? Does it smell good, and does it taste good? Usually, the most palatable foods contain layer upon layer of fat, sugar and salt. The combination of these factors can and do stimulate the neurons, which are the basic cells in the brain. The brain responds to these highly palatable, rewarding and pleasurable foods by firing electrical signals and releasing brain neurons that are encoded with 'palatability.'

Our brains are being excessively activated - bombarded throughout the day - by food cues. Food cues include the actual food we eat, as well as external cues such as anchors to time of day, location, sound and sight. These cues activate the brain, grab its attention, arousal sets in and it drives consumption.

It's important to understand that when we think of the word 'palatable,' we think of something that tastes good. When the food industry uses that word, they are primarily referring to the food's capacity to stimulate the appetite and prompt us to eat excessively."

 

_________________

The implications of this are enormous - especially for ADDers like myself who have difficulty controlling their attention in the first place.  How long before these food conglomerates get the same treatment the tobacco companies did for DELIBERATELY manimpulating their products to CREATE AND/OR ENHANCE ADDICTION?? 

The greatest power you have right now is to:

• stop watching commercials if you possibly can. 
• minimize your exposure to advertising in TV and Movies
• STOP buying any products you find difficult to resist 
• Get someone else to do grocery shopping for you for a month or two to help you detox (Many grocery stores offer online shopping and delivery.  This can be a GREAT tool in controlling what you buy.) 
• Shop at smaller grocery stores that emphasize fresh food.  Whole foods at least does not sell products with transfats in them (one of the most addictive substances)  

Not sure if writing to crongressman and senators would help, but surely in a profit driven world, you DO vote with your dollars.  You stop buying a product and start buying healthier choices and eventually they will get the message. 

Any other suggestions from readers would be most appreciated....I'm sure there are lots more ways you can make a difference!

Yours in Organizing for Health!

p.s.  There is still time to register for our July Getting Unstuck Program which starts July 9!

p.p.s Here the link to the orginal post: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janice-taylor/is-the-food-industry-mani_b_226463.html

 

READY TO GET INSPIRED, GET MOVING and GET YOUR ENERGY FLOWING AGAIN

Are you looking for some inspiration to help you get unstuck and get more physical activity into your life?  Me too!  I had gall bladder surgery 4 weeks ago and have been a real couch potato the past month while recovering.  I'm fine now, but feeling pretty weak from so little activity.  So I am READY to get moving again too!!

 

 

 

As you know, it's not easy to get inspired and get back on track with physical activity after being off track for a while.  So, this month, my fellow Getting Unstuck Coaches and I have put together a learning and coaching program of 4 powerfully interactive teleclasses designed to help us:

 

GET INSPIRED!

GET MOVING! and

GET THE ENERGY FLOWING AGAIN!    

But it's not just going to a boring lecture.  You will get to participate too!  You will have an opportunity to:

• Share your challenges
• Get personal coaching
• Clear your resistance
• Set intentions
• Share your progress & get support each week during the program. 

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What Participants Are Saying

I've been repeatedly energized! - "Being an active member of the Getting Unstuck group coaching program has been tremendously helpful to me these past few months.  I've been repeatedly energized by following through with your suggestions! The help I've received has certainly been worth it! Thanks so much!

~ Susan H., Vancouver

 

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And best of all, we aren't talking about going to the gym.  (I hate going the gym, myself)

 

We're talking about simple, easy, natural ways to get yourself moving starting from wherever you happen to be - right now.  We'll be providing you with several perspectives on how to gradually establish the "habit" of movement. Join us and learn how to energize AND organize yourself into a healthier rhythm of Self-Care!

 

Here's what we've got in store for you:

 

SESSION 1 - July 9 11:00 - 1:00 EST

Bernadette Armiento, Self-Care Coach
"GET MOVING – SMALL STEPS LEAD TO BIG RESULTS"

During this call, Bernadette will cover:

• The top reasons movement is critical to your overall health – body, mind and spirit;
• Strategies for integrating movement into your daily life, no matter what condition you’re in
• Breaking through the resistance when it seems easier to be a “couch potato” and much more!

As always, we’ll leave time for questions and individual coaching for those who want it.

SESSION 2 - July 16 11:00 - 1:00 EST

Ellen Shapiro, Energy Repatterning Coach
"MOVEMENT IS LIFE - LET'S CLEAR OUR RESISTANCE"

During this call, Ellen will help us break our old patterns by uncovering some of the old “tapes” that prevent you from moving, or doing some form of exercise.  Like being told you were clumsy or not athletic, or that your body type was wrong, or "It's boring," etc.

Ellen's repatterning sessions have a powerfully simple way of getting you to share and shed your excuses, let go of self consciousness and silence the negative voices of the past. She guides us in setting new positive intentions and aligning our energy with our intentions. Come get inspired to get moving this summer in this powerful energy repatterning and coaching session!

SESSION 3 - July 23  11:00 - 1:00 EST

Ariane Benefit, ADHD, Organizing and Clutter Coach: "ORGANIZING THE HABIT OF MOVEMENT INTO YOUR LIFE"

After 2 weeks, it starts getting harder to maintain new habits. During this call, Ariane will coach the group through their challenges in committing to positive action steps for lasting change. We will discuss:

• Why having ADD and/or a creative personality types makes establishing the movement habit SO challenging
• Forget goals, develop a "Journey" Mindset
• The relationship between clutter clearing, organizing and integrating movement into your life
• How to simplify and organize movement into your life: Creating rhythms that energize you into movement
• Personal Coaching

BONUS! SESSION 4 - July 30 11:00 - 12:30 EST

Sharon Rosen, Certified Massage Therapist, Holistic Educator
Radical Self-Care -- Simple, Effective Tools to Unstick Your Energy

Sharon will help us take an inside/out approach, beginning with basic concepts of breath, movement and body awareness. You will learn some simple yet powerful tools to add to your self-care toolkit, and receive an illustrated guide to help you really make them your own. Together we will explore ways to bring these tools into your busy life to reduce anxiety, increase clarity and relieve physical tension.

Sharon Rosen is a Certified Massage Therapist, Reiki Master/Teacher, Kabbalistic Healer, writer and teacher in practice since 1987. Her focus on self-care comes from her own journey to resolve some chronic health issues, which taught her a lot about the compassion we all need to bring to the work of healing into our wholeness.

You get this amazing program, plus access to our 24/7 learning library until July 31!  The website includes ALL of Ariane's digital organizing books, over 20 recordings of previous classes and group coaching sessions, online forum for journaling your progress, and interacting with the resident coaches, Ariane, Ellen & Bernadette between sessions. 

Your investment is just  $67 for all this! 

CLASSES WILL BE RECORDED! So, don't worry, if you can't make all the sessions live, you will still be able to download them and listen at your leisure.

You will also be able to listen online over the web and have NO long distance charges!
___________________________________________________________

What Participants Are Saying

The information that you've been able to tie in with how clutter affects finances and healthy eating absolutely astounded me and was right on the mark!

"The Getting Unstuck Learning, Support & Coaching Group has given me a lot more than I bargained for. It's meant an awful lot to me. I just wanted to thank you and all the other members of the group for your insight, sharing and most of all, your incredible support. It really has made a difference just having people who care about the progress I'm making and are willing to go out of their way to offer creative suggestions. It's been an incredible journey and I'm so happy that this program has given me the momentum to get started and more importantly - to keep going. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it!"

~ Mary Kay, NJ

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Learn more about this incredible value and how to register here:

http://www.lotusbridge.com/coaching/getting-unstuck.html

or if you are ready to GET UNSTUCK & GET MOVING NOW, JUST CLICK HERE!

I hope to connect with you there!

Wishing you much energy and inspiration!

 

 

 

High IQ Is No Help For Those With ADHD who Underachieve

The article below highlights the very real downside of having ADHD in a world that isn't very accepting of people who are different from them.

Not being able to do certain things as others expect us to like: be on time all the time, or get ourselves to follow through on our plans easily, or even get up early in the morning, can cause ADDers (even those with High IQs who do accomplish a lot) to feel like we can never really live up to our "potential." 

In fact, this pervasive sense of underachieving haunts most ADDers constantly.  It is one of the defining traits used to diagnosis ADD.  And, it is a source of profound grief that often leads to chronic depression and anxiety among ADDers. This is partly why ADD is often misdiagnosed and is actually VERY under diagnosed in Adults. (Another reason being the myth that children "outgrow" ADHD.) 

Growing up with undiagnosed ADD in an environment that does not value the gifts of ADD, but focuses instead on punishing and criticizing the differences and our inability to conform to other's values is inherently traumatic.  Years of trying to please parents, teachers and bosses who with good intentions try to "fix" something that can't be fixed easily leaves the individual with an underlying sense of hopelessness and innate "not good enough-ness" that can be paralyzing in and of itself.  

The thing is that ADD can't and never will be "cured" or "fixed".  It is a different kind of brain!  it can only be accomodated, managed and/or minimized with treatments such as education / awareness, right brain - left brain integration strategies, stress reduction, exercise and other self-care strategies, and custom organizing and time management structures / systems / approaches co-designed with the ADDers active participation. And yes, sometimes medication is needed as well.   

In a recently released book called Getting Unstuck: Unraveling the connection between Depression, Attention, and Trauma , the author Dr. Don Kerson, says that being "stuck" is the result of a complex interaction between depression, attention deficit disorder and dissociation (a consequence of childhood trauma caused by living with ADD and the chronic negative feedback that comes with it).

The more I read this book the more I understand why I was so motivated and actually COMPELLED to create my coaching group called Getting Unstuck. Stuckness is a different thing from procrastination and the treatment is much more complex that glib tips like "Just Do it".  The treatment for stuckness is complex.  It includes biological, bio-chemical, environmental and organizational changes as well as exercises to heal and stimulate integration of the right brain and left brain (AKA the Planner and the Doer funtions of the brain as Dr. Kerson points out).

Effective treatment also requires ongoing support and understanding from people who accept you as you are...and who can help you release the shame and pain of years of chronic and constant negative feedback from both others and yourself for not being able to do things the way others do. 

People don't realize it, but years of being told: 

•  you think too much,

• you try too hard...

• you ask too many questions,

• why can't you just do it?  Why can't you just clean your room?  or get out of bed when the alarm goes off?  or follow the instructions I gave you?  or hang up your clothes?  follow that diet program? etc.

and on and on...is in itself traumatic and has profound consequences.  These are negative and painful messages that say "if you need more details than I do in order to act on something, there is something very wrong with you."  To the child and adult hearing those messages over and over again - that means "unloveable" and that has devastating consequences. 

When parents, teachers, friends and bosses say things like that to someone, they don't realize that the recipient hears those messages constantly and from LOTS of people - over and over again - at home, on job performance reviews, even from their doctors!  And it all adds up to magnify the condition of ADD and compound it with very low self-esteem.

I highly recommend Dr. Kerson's book...and in fact, it is now what I consider a foundational theoretical underpinning for my coaching group. Thank you Dr. Kerson for adding a layer of understanding from the field of psychiatry and mental health that I've been working on from an organizational  and educational perspective. Your insights and work are much appreciated!

Getting Unstuck: Unraveling the connection between Depression, Attention, and Trauma

____________________________

And Here's the article that inspired me to write this....

Medical News Today
High IQ Is No Help For Those With ADHD, Yale Researchers Find
19 May 2009

Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/150478.php

Superior intelligence is no defense against the effects of attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, Yale researchers have found.

About three of four ADHD individuals with an IQ of more than 120 - a score that ranks them in the top nine percent of the U.S. population - showed significant impairments in memory and cognitive tests when compared to people with similar IQ's who do not suffer from the disorder, according to the researchers.

The report, to be published in the September print edition of the Journal of Attention Disorders, is now available online.

"Many of these people are told they can't be suffering the loss of executive function (the ability to plan and carry out many day-to-day tasks) from ADHD because they are too smart,'' said Thomas E. Brown, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and lead author of the study.

The high-IQ, ADHD group lacked self-management skills and the ability to focus. They tended to procrastinate and be forgetful and had difficulty in harnessing their talent to complete many daily tasks, the study found. In fact, 73 percent of the ADHD population showed significant deficits in five or more of the eight measures of executive function.

"Each of these individuals might be compared to a symphony orchestra of very talented musicians who cannot produce adequate symphonic music because the orchestra lacks an effective conductor," the authors wrote.

Philipp C. Reichel and Donald M. Quinlan of Yale are co-authors of the paper.

Source
Yale University