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August 24, 2009

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Ellen Delap

Thanks for sharing this. Truly hoarders need a level of understanding that honors and respects their needs too. Hugs and happy organizing!

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

Thank you Ellen! I actually forgot to share one big point about why coaching is helpful. I found that working with hoarders in person is extremely stressful for them...and tends to cause their "reasoning" mind to shut down and not be as open to rethinking their "logic". Once they have a mindset that enables them to be emotionally strong enough to deal with the aniety that letting go induces...they can take small steps to letting go and build up their confidence that they can survive the letting go process. The confidence building part of the process is extremely important and coaching / therapeutic tools such cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive reframing and motivational interview combined with empathy and validation can be very effective. I know you already know this...but wanted to add it.

Thanks for your note. It's nice to know you are reading! : ) Big hugz to you too!

frank


People fail to discard for different
reasons.
After a while things become mixed up and
good stuff get mixed up with junk.
Then people may fail to discard junk (in
bulk) because they could easily throw out
valuable things by accident.

Cigar Reviews

It was really sad for me to see these shows on TV about hoarders are realize that my grandmother had the same symptoms as most of these people. She has rooms and rooms of things piled high, and my brothers and I always just thought she was crazy, but really-- she can't help it. I'm glad that people have shed light on this disease recently because I think more people will get help because of it. Thanks for the insight.

gwwbjwemail@yahoo.com

I met this lady who will not allow me into her home because of the clutter. In all aspects, she is very analytical in her examination of life and even knows her living domain is not acceptable. We care about one another but this seems to be an unsurmountable barrier. I want her respect and love and do not want to say or do anything that hurts her. How do I proceed? Thanks.

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.

gwwb -

I'm afraid I cannot give advice like that via this blog. I don't have nearly enough information about the situation. In order to coach you on how to proceed, we would need to set up an appointment or two. To learn more about my coaching services, go to www.lotusbridge.com

In the meantime, as a friend, just keep supporting her and respecting her wishes. Help her feel understood. Feeling misunderstood and rejected by people, and having one's boundaries violated in the past is often at the core of the problem with extreme clutter. And remember, you are not responsible for rescuing her.

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