Sarah Zeldman is the creative force behind an extremely useful blog that provides lots of neat Solutions for Busy Moms! I was very impressed with her straightforward and excellent advice and FREE Stress Relief Kit. Her site covers just about every need a busy mom could have. I recently had the opportunity to interview her and learn more about her and her perspective on coaching and also got some GREAT tips on how to keep your To Do list organized so you can be ready for the holidays! Here are her answers!
Q: What motivated you to become a coach for busy moms?
If you pick up ANY women’s magazine these days its clear that the defining issue of our generation is how to balance and enjoy our busy lives. The subject has always fascinated me. It’s as if the women of previous generations blazed the path by cutting through the thick underbrush of workplace discrimination in this country – because now women can hold almost any job they choose. However, the pioneers of workplace equality left us with a rocky dirt road to smooth out and pave – the road of “having it all,” at the same time, without dying from exhaustion!
Sorry for the rant there…
Anyway… It just seemed a natural coaching niche for me as I was always reading about these issues and constantly listening to my peers and helping them resolve issues that related to the work/life/motherhood balance dilemma and helping them find unique resources and tools to simplify, organize & energize their lives so they could spend more time enjoying life with their family.
Q: What do you enjoy most about coaching?
Tough Question because I enjoy so much of it. Well, if we're talking about the actual "act" of coaching...when I'm working one-on-one with a client, I love totally putting myself aside and stepping into the head and heart of another woman to see her world through her eyes, then coming back into my own "space" and helping her see a situation from a new perspective, helping her find an answer that was right in front of her, or offering a new solution or tool from my extentsive resources to help her gain additional insight into where she is, why she got there and how to get where she wants to be.
The other part of coaching I enjoy is the constant learning I get to do...I am constantly studyng the literature of self-improvement & seeking out new ideas and resources for clients. I like to think of myself as a “walking google” and try to be well versed in a wide variety of subjects that are helpful for busy moms. I’m always learning (like by listening to tons of podcasts on my ipod while I do my cleaning) and searching for solutions!
Q: What are the most common reasons busy moms come to you for coaching?
My coaching clients are devoted wives, mothers, and professionals. However, they often have bodies that are chronically exhausted, minds that are constantly distracted, and spirits that are painfully neglected. They are not clinically depressed. They are stressed, overwhelmed, and depleted from taking care of everyone around them—their children, husbands, sometimes parents and friends—but often neglecting to take care of themselves on a regular basis. They often need help implementing systems and solutions that will free up more time for them to take care of themselves and actually start enjoying their family life again.
There also another reason clients that comes to me, it’s not something I feature a lot at SolutionsForBusyMoms.com, but I LOVE to help other women create successful, fulfilling home businesses & balance it with the rest of their busy lives. So some clients come to me to help them create a more successful home business and to automate their business & marketing more so that they can spend more time with their families.
Q: Would you share a few of your favorite organizing tips to help busy moms in organizing for the holidays?
One BIG mistake that I see moms make all the time is in making their To-Do Lists. They'll throw EVERYTHING on one list until they have a list that is 5 miles long and so SCARY that they avoid doing anything!
I like to teach my clients a part of David Allen’s System from Getting It All Done (This one will FOR SURE come in handy around holiday time!)
David draws an all-important distinction for busy moms (or any busy person) to learn – the difference between a project and a next action.
A Project is any desired outcome that requires more than one action step. You can’t do a project – you can only do an action related to a project.
A Next Action is the absolute next physical thing to do to complete a project.
You see, clients get overwhelmed when they look at a to-do list that has next actions and projects jumbled together on it. It means that each time they go through the list they have to think about each entry and what the next action might be instead of being able to take action right away. It becomes mentally draining and they can eventually become numb to list.
Your to-do list should ONLY contain next actions – the VERY NEXT physical thing to do on each project. You can keep track of your projects on a separate list. For example, your to-do list might say something like “Repaint the banister.” Unless you’ve got everything ready for painting, repainting the banister is probably a project -- not a next action. It should go on your projects list. What goes on your “next action” or “to-do” list is the very next step like “buy the paint” or even “call Bob to find out the name of the beautiful paint he used on his banister.”
When moms have a bunch of projects and next actions weighing them down I urge them to do a “brain dump” (brainstorming session) and write down every single project and next action that comes into their head. This process can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days. Next I ask them to sort their list into projects and next actions. Then I have them sort their projects into categories related to their roles like “Family Projects” “Work Projects” Community Work Projects” “Projects for (Grown Up) Fun” “Home Improvement Projects.” Some projects will be Important and/or Urgent to accomplish in the short-term and some will be long-term projects or projects for personal satisfaction with no specific due date. Seeing them all laid out in categories can bring an immediate sense of relief because of the clarity it provides. Now you can see all of your projects clearly and more easily decide your priorities for the day, week, month and year.
Next I often recommend that clients create a “Master Next Action List.” This step is optional, but many find it helpful. Simply write the project titles on a page and leave lots of space beneath each. Use as many pages as you need. Then brainstorm each action step that it will take to complete the project – no matter how many steps it will take. Write them all down!
Now, it’s time to create your “to-do” list, which should consist of ONLY next actions. Remember, next actions are the very next physical step you need to do to complete a project. If you know the projects that you want to work on right away, you can simply create a “to-do” list by writing down the next action step on each of those projects.
The final step is to group each “next action” in to mini lists, usually based on your priorities, your energy level, where you will be during the day and what resources will be available at the time. For example, my list is often sorted into categories like:
- Do in the morning before the kids wake up – This is the best time for me do to “brainwork” like writing
- Do At My Desk – paperwork for my business or family
- Things to do at the computer – For example, I’ll often jot down a key word to research for an idea that I had and want to “google.”
- Calls to make - If I’m at the phone, I like to do all of my phone calls in one shot so I list them all together
- Errands to run - I try to list them in the order that I would run them to minimize travel time.
Now all of this sounds like a lot of work. Initially, it may be, but after a while it becomes a habit and my clients just start naturally organizing their to-do lists this way. In other words, they learn the difference between a project and a next action, so their to-do list only consists of next actions. If they ever feel overwhelmed by all of the projects running around and around in their minds, they can simply map them out again as I have described. It can really save a busy mom’s sanity to look at her to-do list and know the very next action she needs to take and the best time and place to do them!
Q: Would you share one or 2 of your best client success stories?
Sure…but isn’t better in the words of my clients? Read some of my testimonials here: http://www.solutionsforbusymoms.com/testimonials/
Thanks Sarah!
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It's funny that men's magazines never talk about these issues.
Posted by: gr8face | November 02, 2006 at 03:06 PM
When you say "these issues" I assume you are talking about my little rant...
Yes, men's magazines don't talk abut these issues. Let me preface by saying that I don't want to bash men, that is not my intention. My observation is that men often don't get the anguish that we go through due to the conflicts of our multiple roles and endless options.(Stay at home? WOrk at home? Work Part Time? Work Full Time? Which is best for the kids, family, marriage or You? Plus, of course the feeling of, "HELP! I'm totally bored/stressed/overwhelmed and I *should* know how to handle all of this!)
In general, if the man is the breadwinner, after the wife has the baby, and maybe stays at home for a week to help his wife, his life pretty much goes back to "normal" after that. In other words, he gets up, goes to work and comes home. (I don't mean to say that his life/psyche hasn't changed on an internal level -- for sure it does -- but the basic structure of his life stays in tact, I think)
A mother, on the other hand, regardless of if you choose to stay home or work outside the home, just starts to deal with a whole new world of choices and identity issues and endlessly worries "Did I do the right thing? Am I making the right choices? Am I doing this right?" Men don't face thoses issues -- at least not in the same way.
I said my intention is not to male bash - and I mean it. My intention is to point out that men's experience is VERY different that women's experiences...and that's why you don't see much talk about this in the men's magazines etc.
Now, you may argue "That's not fair -- they should face the same dilemmas, choices, responsiblites etc" Maybe. Maybe not. As I say to my kids "Life isn't always fair" and I doesn't bother me so much that men don't struggle with the same issues...I just want to focus on finding solutions that work for women.
That's my rant -- Part II :)
Posted by: Sarah Zeldman | November 03, 2006 at 11:02 AM