Step 1 - Working up the Courage to Make the Call
I'm currently working with a truly sensitive, warm, kind and generous woman and her family. When she called me in December, she was terrified of what my reaction would be to the condition of her home. Even though we haven't finished, she wants to share her story - photos and all - just in case it will help others in her situation get up the courage to make the call and begin the journey of breaking free from clutter. How awesome is that?
When she got up the courage to call me, she was surprised to find that I didn't criticize her at all and I wasn't shocked. I only wanted to help - that's why I got into this business - to really make a difference in people's lives. Most organizers I know feel the same way.
Step 2 - Getting to Know the Family, Their Situation & Needs
My client, whom I'll call Sofie to conceal her identity, is a 26 year old mother of 3 beautiful kids and is married to an incredibly patient man who is by nature a neat freak. When she lost her mother several years ago, she took in all the stuff her mom left behind. She just couldn't bear to part with any of it - it would be like losing her mom all over again. The stuff became a way to fill the emptiness and distract her from the grief inside.
She then began shopping compulsively as a way to escape from her pain and get a brief high. As you can see in the photos below, over time, her home became so cluttered that you literally had to move stuff out of the way to walk from place to place. We are only showing one room here. More rooms will be covered in the project profile we are creating for our Before and After Gallery.
CLICK THE "BEFORE" PHOTOS OF THE DINING ROOM / COMPUTER DESK / HOME SCHOOLING AREA TO SEE IT LARGER 
As you can imagine, the tension, frustration, and stress level was so high among all the family members that fights broke out over every little thing. Everyone dreaded coming home and no one could relax. Sofie began to realize that if things didn't change, she might lose her husband and family. She knew it was time to start letting go of the grief and the clutter that came with it. She started going to organizing websites for inspiration and made many attempts to organize. But because of the overwhelming amount of stuff, stress and tension, it was impossible to maintain any of these attempts. The family couldn't support her because they really didn't know how. No one could remember what they were supposed to do. Each small attempt was inconsistent, and wasn't part of a complete solution. When one space was cleared, it just became the new convenient place to dump stuff. It was overwhelming for everyone. That was when she realized she needed a professional to really break free.
Step 3 - First Aid
During the first hands-on session we worked on what I call "first aid". We addressed the biggest safety and health concerns, and got bathrooms and kitchen cleared and cleaned. We also got the cat's litter box out of the bathroom and out of reach of the one year old by putting it in a small closet on the second floor.
Step 4 - The Plan
During the second session we had a family meeting. During this meeting we established family goals and put them in writing. The goal is to create a functioning, spacious home that allows them to have the loving family they all want. A home they all enjoy coming home to. We then set up a 3 part plan for getting rid of the clutter so that we can start really getting organized. Here's the plan. It's sounds simple, but it's not easy. It takes a lot of commitment and emotional strength to let go of old habits.
1. No More Stuff - Everyone agreed to stop bringing unnecessary stuff into the home - no more buying, and no more gifts or freebies from others that there simply isn't room for. We started documenting a set of guidelines for shopping, gifting, and accepting freebies that will help prevent the clutter from returning.
2. Support Each Other - As anyone with an addiction knows, you can't just stop doing something that is filling an emotional need without replacing it with something else...so we set up some alternatives to buying stuff - healthier ways to fill the void. In addition to frequent telephone calls with me, here are a few of the things the family decided to do to support each other: Start noticing all the progress and good things each other is doing. Thank each other every day for something you appreciate. Spend time as a family without TV, and other stuff. Have meals together and listen to each other's day. Give each other clutter-free gifts such as trips to the day spa, massages, or babysitting time so the other can get away for a while.
3. Clear Space and Purge - This is where we go through everything they have collected and start letting go of the past as well as anything that isn't loved, hygienic, or used regularly. Some treasured things that have been damaged or are literally disintegrating will be photagraphed for a digital album.
Step 4 - The Purge
To date we've had several purging sessions. We've made great progress in improving the functionality of the main areas of the home. We've filled the dumpster a couple times and now have a lot more clear surfaces and functional areas. Much of the good stuff has been sorted like with like into bins, labeled and put out of the way until the purge is complete.
Sofie has come to love purging! Once you get a taste of the freedom and energy it brings to purge the past, it's exhilirating! She and her husband are now doing lots of it on their own.
TIP: As we purge we are taking all the empty containers and putting them in our own little "container store". When we need a container we "shop" there - for FREE! : ) Here are a couple photos that show the progress we've made.
CLICK THE "ALMOST AFTER" PHOTOS OF THE DINING ROOM / COMPUTER DESK / HOME SCHOOLING AREA TO SEE IT LARGER
We've cleared the desk and gotten all the important TO DO papers in one place. We've made a temporary home for important things like receipts, planner, wallet, and homeschooling lesson plans and worksheets.
We still have to empty all the drawers, bins and boxes that haven't been sorted and purged yet, but we are getting close.
Once we finish the purge, we'll have space to put things away the things that are truly used and loved. THEN we'll determine what, if anything, needs to be purchased to make the home function well for them.
UPDATE:
Here is a photo of her desk after we completed going through everything and decluttering.
I rearranged her workspace and desk to create an "L" and placed her file cabinet right next to her to make it easier to file instantly - instead of creating To File piles.
Using mostly things she already had, we created a simple hanging file system, a desktop project filing system, receipt system, kid's artwork system, mail inbox & processing system and gave everything a home.
The old table you see next to the desk in the prior picture became an art table for the kids.
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I hope you've found this mini-project profile inspirational. See more Neat Living Home Office Makeovers here. Remember, no matter how cluttered an area has become, there is hope. Sometimes you just have to make that first call for help to get started.
Sending Neat Thoughts,
If I can be of service to you, I am available for coaching by telephone, so don't be afraid to call! Life is too short to put off getting help any longer. My contact info can be found at www.neatandsimple.com
Well I have to say that Arianne is an absolute angel. As she writes in the blog yes I was very affraid to cell her for help and now I am becoing a bit neurotic (in the other way of course)now I am purging with out holding on to the things because as Arianne has reminded me our memories are in our hearts and we live in the here and now.
I would recommend her to everyone. She has helped to change and insipire my family and I don't think that anyone wants to go back to the old way. The level of stress is gone and we are still working on more.
My whole family loves her and are so blessed to have her in our life.
Happy Cleaning,
S
Posted by: S | January 30, 2006 at 08:57 AM